the face, the fingers... All of these areas are vulnerable. And I will show you ways to hurt all of them.”
I smiled, and so did the other girls. I guess she was right when she said we could be just as bloodthirsty as guys. But I don’t think any of us were gleeful at the idea of being able to hurt somebody—well, except for me. It wasn’t about inflicting pain. It was the idea of not having to be afraid. Sure, you still had to be smart, but there was power in the idea of being able to fight back.
We started with practicing how to fend off an attacker while on our feet. Detective Davies showed us how effective a shove could be, but then also turned it around and showed us how to use momentum against our attacker if they tried to shove us.
I don’t think most of us would even have thought of using what she showed us on our own.
“As women, we are taught that physicality is masculine, and any woman who fights is vulgar. I’m telling you, as a physically strong, older woman, that it is okay for you to do whatever necessary to save yourself.” Detective Davies’s face was slightly flushed from demonstrating defensive moves. “If you can grab your attacker’s finger and bend it, or break it, do it. If you can gouge his eye, knee him in the groin or stomach, do it. Smash your head into his nose or mouth. Punch him in the throat. Hit him with anything you can get your hands on.
“You’ve been told all your life not to hurt people, and now I want you to forget that. If someone is trying to hurt you, I want each and every one of you to do whatever necessary to escape. I want you to hurt back.”
I wanted to applaud. I won’t lie. I wanted to hug her, even if she had let Mags down. I wish Magda hadn’t had to die for her to teach this class. If she had learned how to protect herself, maybe it would’ve helped. Then again, Drew Carson had drugged her, so she hadn’t had much fight in her anyway.
I raised my hand.
“Yes, Hadley?”
“Can you show us how to get out of a pin? What if someone bigger than us has us pinned to the ground?” Or a bed?
The older woman looked at me for a moment. She seemed...thoughtful. “I had planned on doing that in another class, but I can show you now, and we can work on it more later. Why don’t you come up here and help me?”
I stood up. She’d used me for a lot of the class already, getting me to help her demonstrate different techniques as I was the only one there with a martial arts background.
“Lie down on the floor on your back,” she instructed.
I did. The mat was cool beneath my back. We may not have gotten into anything too vigorous, but I had still managed to work up a bit of a sweat. Detective Davies knelt in front of me and then braced her hands on either side of my head so that her hips were between my thighs and her torso had me pinned.
One of the girls giggled. I rolled my eyes, a gesture that made my “attacker” smile. “Okay, you can see that I am bigger than Hadley. I’m taller and heavier, and I have gravity on my side. All I have to do is push or press down. To move me, Hadley has to exert force upward, so not only is she fighting my body weight and my strength, but she is also fighting gravity. Her shoulder blades are flat on the floor, which makes it even more difficult for her to escape. Now, what are things she can do to get out of this hold?”
Her question was met with silence. I turned my head to the side and saw the four girls looking at each other, as though waiting for one of them to speak first.
“Hey,” I said. “I’m your best friend, and we’re at a party together. You walk into a room and you see a guy trying to get my clothes off and rape me. You can’t attack him physically, but you can tell me how to hurt him. What do I do?”
The girls had gone pale. They weren’t looking at each other anymore, they were looking at me.
“See if you can work your legs under his,” Zoe suggested. “Then he can’t rape you, and you’re in a better position to knee him in the balls.”
I did as she suggested, miming trying to knee Detective Davies between the legs. But as I did so, the woman quickly snapped her leg shut and shoved her knee between mine again. She was strong, and for a moment I was filled with an irrational fear of what she was going to do to me.
The girls must’ve seen my fear because suddenly they jumped to life.
“Bash his nose with your forehead!” Jenna yelled.
“Punch him in the solar plexus!” another shouted. Anna, that was her name.
“Gouge his eyes!” That was Zoe again.
“Push your forearm into his neck so you’re shoving his head back, and then punch him in the throat with your other fist.” This was calmly delivered by the fourth girl, whose name I didn’t know, but whose face I would never forget. It was the face of a girl who’d been in this position herself and was only now realizing that she could’ve fought.
Hers was the advice I took, pushing Detective Davies’s head back and mock punching her. She jerked backward, and I seized the opportunity to get my legs around her, lift up and flip her so that she was the one on her back and I was the one on top. Then, I pretended to punch her repeatedly in the face until she was unconscious.
I met the gaze of that girl. “Thank you. You saved me.”
I wasn’t prepared for the tears that suddenly appeared in her eyes. She nodded, blinking furiously to stop herself from crying. The other girls did a funny thing—instead of comforting her, they applauded—turning her from victim to hero. Her tears evaporated into a smile. It was a shaky smile, but it was still a smile.
I climbed to my feet and offered Detective Davies my hand to help her up. She took it and gracefully rolled up onto her feet.
“Well done,” she said. “You knew exactly what to say to them.”
“I wish I hadn’t.” Our gazes met. “Known what to say to them, I mean.”
She patted my shoulder. “Me too.” Then, she turned to the class. “I think that’s a good place to leave it for this week. We’ll meet again next Thursday at the same time. Feel free to bring a friend with you. Until then, feel free to practice what we went over. Although try not to actually hurt anyone who doesn’t deserve it.” She smiled.
The girls stood up. I approached the girl whose name I didn’t know. The one who had told me how to get out of Detective Davies’s hold. She had brown hair, and blue eyes that seemed to look right through me. “Hey,” I said. “I’m Hadley.”
She nodded. “I know. I’m Caitlin. Thanks for setting this up.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t really. Detective Davies did. It was her idea.”
“Well, thanks anyway.” She turned to walk away.
“Hey,” I called. She turned around. “Are you coming next week?”
“Yeah,” she said. “You?”
“Yeah, I’ll be here.” This had to be the most awkward conversation I’ve ever had. I felt so stupid. What had I expected? That we would be instant friends?
Her smile was
