ran his hand through his hair again, tempted to rip chunks of it out in frustration. He had to get out of here. If he wasn’t careful, he would get caught up in the need to protect Jill. From what? He wasn’t even sure. Life, probably. Just life. As Sara had said, it wasn’t fair. But it also wasn’t his fight. No, he had to go.
He would drive back to his hotel, check out and head for Portland. He would tell Brad he couldn’t help him and advise him to leave Jill alone. Maybe he would even tell his old friend what he really thought of him. It was way past time to do that.
* * *
Jill was in a hurry and things weren’t working out. She had Tanner dressed in his little play suit, but she couldn’t catch Timmy, and now he was streaking around the room, just out of her reach, laughing uproariously.
“Timmy!” she ordered. “You stop right there.”
Fat chance of that. He rolled under the bed and giggled as she reached under, trying to grab him.
“You come out of there, you rascal.”
She made a lucky grab and caught his foot and pulled him out, disarming grin and all. “Oh, you little munchkin,” she cried, but she pulled him into her arms and held him tightly. Her boys were so precious to her. She’d given up a lot to make sure she would have them. Tears stung her eyelids and she fought them back. She couldn’t let herself cry. Not now. She had a day to get through.
She had a huge, wonderful day full of work ahead. A day like this could turn things around, if it started a trend. She heard Sara’s voice downstairs and she smiled. What a relief. Good. Sara was here. She would be able to help with the children.
She so appreciated Sara giving her some time like this. She knew she was applying for a promotion. She’d been a contributing editor to the design section of Winter Bay Magazine for almost two years and she’d done some fabulous work. If she got the new job, she would be working more hours during the week and wouldn’t be able to help out as much. Still, she hoped she got it. She certainly deserved the recognition.
She was thankful for small blessings. Right now, if she had Sara here to help with the twins, and then Trini coming in a half hour to help with the baking and delivery, she would be okay. She would just barely be able to fulfill all the commitments she’d made for the day.
It was a challenge, but she could do it. In fact, she had to do it.
Sara appeared at the doorway just as she finished dressing her boys and sent them into the playroom.
“Hey there,” she said, ready to greet her sister with a smile until she saw the look on her face. “What’s the matter? What’s wrong?”
Sara sighed and shook her head.
“Did you see Connor?” Jill asked brightly. “He looks so much the same, you’d never know he’d been gone for a year and a half, would you?”
Sara gave her a look. “Jill, we’ve got to talk.”
Jill groaned and grabbed her sister’s hand. “Not now, sweetie. Not today. I’ve got so much I’ve got to get to and...”
Sara was shaking her head. “You’ve got to get rid of him, Jill.”
She frowned. “Who?”
Sara pointed back down the stairs as though he were following her. “Connor. You’ve got to make him go right away.”
Dropping her hand, Jill turned away, feeling rebellious. She’d been thinking the same thing but she didn’t want to hear it from anyone else. Connor was hers. She resented anyone else—even her beloved sister—critiquing their relationship. She would make him go when she was good and ready to make him go.
Sara grabbed her by the shoulders. “You know he’s just here spying for Brad,” she said in a low, urgent voice. “You don’t want that, do you?”
Sara had never warmed to Jill’s ex-husband, even during the good times. And once he’d gone off and left her high and dry, she’d developed what could only be described as a dogged contempt for the man.
Jill took a deep breath and decided to ignore everything she’d said. Life would be simpler that way.
“What are you doing here so early?” she asked instead, trying to sound bright and cheery. “I appreciate it, but...”
“Oh.” Sara’s demeanor changed in an instant and she dropped her hold on her sister’s shoulders. “Oh, Jill, I came early to tell you...I’m so sorry, but I won’t be able to help you today. They want me to fly down to L.A. There’s just no way I can get out of it. I’ll be meeting with the editorial staff from Chicago and...”
“Today?” Jill couldn’t stop the anguish from bursting out as she realized what this meant.
Sara looked stricken. “It’s a really bad day, right?”
“Well, I told you I’ve got a huge stack of orders and...” Jill stopped herself, set her shoulders and got hold of her fears. “No, no.” She shook her head. “No, Sara. It’s much more important for you to go do this, I’m sure.”
Sara grabbed her hand again. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry, but I really can’t turn them down. They want to see how I handle myself with the visiting members.” She bit her lip and looked as though she was about to cry. A range of conflicting emotions flashed through her wide dark eyes and then she shook her head decisively. “Oh, forget it. I’ll tell them something has come up and I just can’t do it. Don’t worry. They’ll understand. I think.”
Jill dismissed all that out of hand. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course you have to go. This is your career. This is something you’ve worked so hard for.”
“But I can’t leave you if you really need me.”
“But I don’t.” Jill dug deep and managed a bright smile. “Not really. Trini will be here soon and we’ll be able to handle it.”
Sara looked worried. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.” She smiled again.
“Because I can stay if you really need me. I can tell them...”
“No.” She hugged her sister. “You go. You have to go. I will lose all respect for you if you let silly sentiment keep you from achieving your highest goals. Say no more about it. You’re gone. It’s decided.”
“But...”
“Come on. Do it for me. Do it for all of us. Make us proud.”
Her smile was almost painful by now, but doggone it—she wasn’t going to stop. Sara had to go. No two ways about it. And she would just have to cope on her own. Thank God for Trini.
* * *
“So she’s really going?” Connor had watched Sara rushing off and then turned to see Jill come down from upstairs with a tense look on her face.
“Yes. Yes, she is.”
He noted that her hands were gripped together
