it wasn’t just a lull in the conversation, or that the restaurant was near to closing—her silence ran deeper.
As they drove home all she could think of was her mother, turning her back on her own family. Oh, she knew Dominic had far better reasons, but to have completely walked away from everyone he loved, for Victoria it was deeply unsettling.
All the hope of a lovely evening had been left back at the restaurant and Victoria now just wanted to be alone.
‘Thanks for a nice night.’
She didn’t ask him up and it did not end in a kiss.
Victoria looked at him and all she could see was a man who had abandoned everything he had professed to love.
And so she ended things with her usual lack of flare.
‘I’ll see you at work.’
‘Victoria—’
‘Let’s just keep it at that,’ Victoria said, and when he reached for her arms, she pulled away. ‘Please, Dominic, stay back. I want to focus on the pregnancy and I just don’t have space right now for anything else.’
That was the longest speech she had ever given to a man when she broke off things, but she knew it wasn’t really enough.
Still, he did not push for more explanation and she was grateful for that. A kiss, or attempts at persuasion, would only further confuse her.
Victoria let herself into her flat and the gorgeous scent of freesias greeted her.
She undressed and got into the cold, new sheets and just lay there.
He had loved Lorna, she was sure of that—they had been living together, having a baby together.
Victoria ached for that glimpse of him—she truly did—but knew it was not hers to see.
They were being forced together by default.
She knew he was an honourable man and might want to do the right thing, or at the very least give it a go.
And of course Dominic had said that he no longer loved Lorna, but what if he still did?
What if that was the real reason for leaving Edinburgh so completely?
Victoria had been honest when she’d told Dominic that she didn’t know how to make relationships work.
How on earth could this one?
He had only asked her out in the first place because she was pregnant.
What if Lorna decided she had changed her mind? Victoria pondered.
Or what if Victoria gave them a go and then it was Dominic who decided things weren’t working out?
Victoria could not stand to fall for him only to be hurt further down the line when later he left.
And he would.
Victoria had nothing in her life to indicate otherwise.
It was safer to face parenthood alone.
She trusted only in herself.
SHE WAS HER usual confident self at work and did not try to avoid him.
In fact, Victoria met his eyes when she handed over patients and didn’t dash off.
Perhaps she actually wanted to be a single parent, Dominic pondered.
Some women did.
He knew that Victoria was incredibly independent and she had told him that she didn’t really do well with relationships.
Yet, he wanted a chance for them, and more and more he was getting used to the idea of being a father.
Not in the rush-out-and-buy-the-books way this time.
He was starting to feel the fear.
He saw her leave the department and Dominic followed her out. He knew they would be making up the vehicle and sure enough there were Victoria and Glen.
She was sitting in the back drinking tea poured from a silver flask; it was the only hint that she might be avoiding him, because in months gone by she and Glen would have come into the department to grab a drink.
‘How are you?’ he asked.
‘Fine.’ She gave him a smile and Glen made some noise about calling his wife and left them to it.
‘When are you on nights?’ Dominic asked.
‘We start tomorrow.’
‘How do you think you’ll go?’
‘I’ll be fine.’
‘Well, if you need anything, I’m on call over the weekend, so just—’
‘I shan’t need anything, Dominic.’
‘You do need to tell work,’ he said.
Yes, the fear was real and he could not stand the thought of her out on the streets at night over the weekend.
‘I know what I need to do.’
She tried to end the conversation but Dominic persisted.
‘What happened the other night?’ Dominic asked. He had been over and over it, and the night that had started with such promise had failed for reasons that he could not grasp.
‘Nothing happened.’
Exactly.
‘Just because I’m not talking to my family at the moment, it doesn’t mean—’
‘Dominic,’ Victoria interrupted him. ‘What happens between you and your family is your concern. I don’t want to get involved with all the ins and outs. I’ve got enough going on in my own life. Aside from the pregnancy, the campaign for Paddington’s is getting bigger by the day.’ She gave a shrug.
‘What about us?’
‘There’s no us,’ she said, and she made herself look right at him as she did so. ‘Dominic, you only asked me out when you knew I was pregnant...’ He opened his mouth to speak but she overrode him. ‘If I’d wanted anything more than that night, then I think I’m assertive enough that I’d have asked you for a date, but I didn’t. We’re adults—we’ll work things out closer to the baby’s due date.’
And still she made herself look at him, though it was almost her undoing because she wanted to lean on him; she wanted him to tell her again that it wasn’t a mess.
That it
