whatsoever. None of the officers have ever pulled us over in the jalopy. Man, she’s a stuffed shirt, if ever there was one.”
“I’ll say she is,” Wade agreed with a grin.
Vance shot him a glare. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Sure it is. I saw you checking her out. Hell, your tongue was practically hanging out of your mouth while you watched her walk away.”
“Oh, stuff a sock in it,” Vance growled. “I was only gaping at her in shock. Where does that idiotic female cop think she’s patrolling? Downtown Chicago?”
Wade arched a dark brow and grinned unsympathetically as he cruised toward the restaurant to meet his wife for their anniversary lunch. “That’s a good lesson for you, joker. You gotta watch who you’re fooling with. Just pay your fine and get over it.”
“I most certainly will not!” Vance huffed indignantly. “Just because she’s a knockout in a cop uniform doesn’t mean she can go around handing out citations that no other law officer in these parts would consider ticketing.”
Wade chuckled as he pulled into a vacant parking space. “A knockout, huh? So you do admit it.”
“As if you didn’t notice she was built like a supermodel,” Vance said, and smirked. “You may be loco over Laura, but no man could overlook a woman with a body like that lady cop has.”
“I agree she’s stacked. So are you gonna ask her out after you pay your fine?” Wade asked as he piled from the truck.
“Not on your life,” Vance said adamantly. “The day I get interested in a gung ho cop is the day you have my permission to shoot me.”
“Right,” Wade said as he made a beeline for the restaurant. “A cop and a practical joker. It’d never work.”
“Damn right it wouldn’t.” Vance followed his cousin through the door to pan the interior. “I like fun-loving females whose natural reaction is to smile, not look down their noses at you and scowl. Besides, that lady cop is so staunch and defensive that she’d never be a bit of fun, even out of uniform.”
Vance was certain his cousin hadn’t heard a word he said. The instant Wade saw his blond, blue-eyed wife waving at him from the corner booth he strode toward her like a dog going to heel. It was nauseating to watch those two lovebirds together. Of course, watching Cousin Quint and his new wife, Steph, wasn’t any better. They couldn’t keep their hands and eyes off each other, either.
Speak of the devil, Vance mused as Cousin Q sauntered from the kitchen, holding hands with the redheaded queen of cuisine. Dining with these four was sure to ruin Vance’s appetite.
“What’s wrong with you?” Quint stared curiously at Vance as he cozied up in the booth beside Steph.
“Oh, don’t mind him,” Wade said, grinning. “He’s bent out of shape because he had a run-in with the new police officer. She’s a real pistol, by the way.”
“Pistol, hell,” Vance muttered. “She’s an assault weapon and she’ll mow you down if you get in her line of fire.”
Laura and Steph stared worriedly at Vance. “What happened?” Laura asked.
Wade waved off their concern. “You know the joker. He tried to play one of his dumb pranks and the new lady cop didn’t think it was the least bit funny. She fined him a hundred bucks for stupidity.”
Quint burst out laughing. “That’ll teach you to be more selective, cuz. Serves you right.”
For sure, Vance was getting no sympathy from this quarter. Even Laura and Steph commenced giggling.
Vance sulked his way through lunch while the lovebirds cooed at each other. Well, maybe his family thought he should pay the hefty fine and chalk it up to a prank gone sour, but Vance wasn’t letting it go. Ms. Gung Ho hadn’t heard the last from him on the subject. He’d go over her head and talk to the chief of police. Tate Jackson needed to know that a member of his force was harassing one of the lifelong residents of the community. Tate was a reasonable man who’d lived in Hoot’s Roost for fifteen years. He would make certain that his new officer wasn’t overstepping her bounds.
“Where are you off to in such a rush?” Wade asked when Vance dropped a ten spot on the table and vaulted to his feet.
“I’m going to swing by the police department before I pick up the old truck.”
“Let it go,” Quint advised.
“Like he said,” Wade chimed in. “All you’re gonna do is make that lady cop madder than she is now. She’ll be gunning for you every time you show your face in town.”
Vance ignored the advice and strode across town square. He cast a distracted glance toward the circular fountain where a concrete owl hovered in perpetual flight.
Although Vance was usually a happy-go-lucky, carefree kind of guy he wasn’t going to let that rookie cop get away with this. He just had to make sure he got to tell his side of the story first.
When Vance breezed in the door of the police station he flashed the dispatcher a friendly smile. “Hi, Maggie, how’s it going?”
Maggie Davidson grinned back at him. “Fine, handsome. What are you up to? No good, as usual?”
Vance braced his elbows on the counter and flashed her a high-voltage smile. At least she reacted favorably, he thought. Unlike that green-eyed monster of a cop.
He and Maggie had dated casually for a few months before she got stuck on a man who eventually became her ex-husband. Vance decided to pour on the charm and ensure that he had one ally in enemy camp.
“You know me, darlin’, I’m a harmless, law-abiding citizen who wouldn’t hurt a fly.” He graced her with a trademark grin. “Is Tate in his office? I’d like to chat with him for a few minutes.”
“Sure is. Go on back. I’ll let him know you’re on your way.”
“Thanks, good lookin’. Seeing anyone at the moment?”
Maggie shrugged and propped her chin on her hand. “Not seriously. You?”
“Nope. Maybe we can do a little two-stepping at Hoot’s Tavern Friday night.”
She beamed with delight. “Love to.”
Vance ambled down the hall, remembering that he’d always had fun with Maggie in the old days. In addition, it never hurt to have a friend in the right place. Plus, he could quiz Maggie about the new officer and find out what caused that chip on her shoulder.
“Come in,” Tate Jackson called out when Vance rapped lightly on the door.
Vance strode inside to pump Tate’s hand then he plopped into the creaky wooden chair across from the chief’s desk that was piled high with files and red-tape forms.
“What can I do for you, Vance?” Tate asked.
“I came to file a complaint,” Vance replied. “I had a run-in with the lady cop on your force this morning.”
