much. He’d laugh at her. Her lips twisted. Just like her friends in Melbourne would’ve laughed if they’d seen her earlier this morning. The butt of oh-yet-another joke.
‘Nicola?’
What the hell? She lifted her chin. She was through with turning herself inside out to please other people. ‘I thought I’d take advantage of all the wide open space and fresh county air to …’ she swallowed in readiness for his laughter ‘… to try and get fit.’
She clenched her hands. Strong in body. Strong in mind. It might not happen overnight, but she could work towards it. She could change. She gritted her teeth. Losing her fiancé to another woman did not make her a loser or a failure.
‘Dry dusty air at this time of year more like.’
She didn’t say anything.
‘You didn’t have a water bottle with you.’
That was when it hit her—he hadn’t laughed yet. And one look at his face told her he wasn’t going to. He didn’t think her plan of getting fit was stupid at all. Instead, he was going to tell her off for not taking a water bottle. ‘I thought with it being so early and all …’
‘If I see you without a water bottle the next time you go jogging, we will have serious words, you understand?’
She swallowed and nodded.
He frowned. ‘It’s a bit early for New Year resolutions, isn’t it?’
‘Getting fit and losing weight was this year’s resolution,’ she sighed. ‘I’m trying to get it in under the wire.’
His chuckle held no malice or ridicule. It warmed her blood. ‘Getting fit is an admirable goal, but losing weight …’ He shook his head. ‘Seems to me women get too hooked up on that stuff.’
If she’d been half a stone lighter and had taken more care with her appearance, maybe Brad wouldn’t have dumped her for Diane.
Cade sent her a lazy appraisal from beneath heavy-lidded eyes and it did something ludicrous to her insides, made them light and fluttery. She didn’t like it.
‘Anyway, you look just fine to me,’ he said with a shrug.
Her hands clenched. She didn’t want to look just fine. She wanted to be gorgeous, stunning … confident. She wanted to knock a man’s socks off.
She had a horrid sick feeling that even if she did lose half a stone and took more care with her appearance, she would never be able to achieve that anyway.
His eyes suddenly narrowed. ‘I don’t want you getting obsessive about your weight while you’re out here, dieting and exercising to within an inch of your life.’
She understood where Cade’s concern came from. She wasn’t a primary school teacher for nothing. ‘I have no intention of being obsessive about anything. And I promise I will not send Ella or Holly any negative body image messages.’
He stared at her. It made her self-conscious. She made a show of looking at her watch. ‘It’s nearly time to get Ella and Holly up for breakfast.’
She stood and made her escape.
When Nicola and the children entered the kitchen a short time later, it was to find Cade seated at the kitchen table too. Nicola’s appetite promptly fled.
He glanced up. ‘You must be hungry after your morning’s exertions.’
His words emerged with a lazy unconcern, but his eyes were keen and sharp. She lifted her chin. ‘Absolutely.’
She might have no appetite to speak of, but there was no way she could refuse to eat breakfast. Not after their earlier conversation. The thing was, she had no intention of obsessively dieting. She just meant to avoid cakes and biscuits and chocolate sultanas and all those other yummy things while she was here.
She ate cereal and yogurt. She tried not to focus too keenly on Cade’s bacon and eggs and beans on toast. Cereal and yogurt—yum, yum.
Liar.
She might not be able to summon up much enthusiasm for a high fibre, low fat breakfast, but she was well aware that Cade took note of everything that passed her lips. So she ate. It should’ve irked her that he watched so closely. For some reason, though, she found it strangely comforting instead.
When they finished, he rose. ‘There’s something I want to show you, something I think you’ll be interested in.’
Wordlessly she followed him through the house. He wore jeans that fitted him to perfection. The material stretched across lean hips and a tight butt and she couldn’t drag her gaze away. Her throat hitched. Awareness—sexual awareness—inched through her. Her blood heated up and a pulse started up deep in the centre of her. She moistened her lips, curled her fingers and wondered—
No way!
She slammed to a halt. No way!
He turned back, frowned. ‘What’s up?’
Her racing pulse slowed as his expression filtered into her panicked brain. The denial in her throat died. She shook herself. This man didn’t see her as anything other than an employee. He certainly didn’t see her as an attractive, available woman. She might doubt her own strength, but she didn’t doubt his.
She’d come here to toughen up, to face reality and get stronger. Lusting after her boss was not the answer.
‘Nicola?’
She shook herself. ‘I just had one of those thoughts, you know? A bolt from the blue, but … Did I leave the oven on?’
He leaned towards her. ‘What? In Melbourne?’
She nodded.
‘And?’
‘No, I’m certain I turned it off.’
He frowned. ‘You sure about that? You want to ring someone to check?’
She shook her head. ‘I’m positive I turned it off.’
With a shake of his head, he continued down the corridor. He flung open a door near its far end and strode into the darkened room to lift the blinds at the window. She followed him in, glanced around and her jaw dropped. ‘You have a home gym?’
There was a treadmill, an exercise bike, a rowing machine and a weight machine. Oh, this would be perfect! She walked about the room, her fingers trailing across the equipment. ‘This is amazing,’ she breathed. ‘Is it okay if I use it?’
‘Sure.’ Then his face tightened up. ‘Someone may as well. I don’t think anyone has been in here, except to clean, since Fran left.’
Fran?
‘My ex-wife and the girls’ mother,’ he said, answering her unspoken question.
He didn’t smile. His face remained tight and it warned her not to ask questions. He obviously had his
