how different and difficult it is to go from a life of service, where every day has a mission, and someone depends on you to make life-and-death decisions, to a life with civilians who are making decisions about what client to call back first or what is the best outfit to wear to work.
Life would be different, all right. In Carson’s case he didn’t need to worry about choosing the proper clothes. He was going back to his Wyoming ranch, where a shirt and jeans had been his uniform before he’d signed up for the Marines. It would be his uniform again, now that he was out of the service.
In the beginning it feels as if you are so much more experienced than the people around you, and in a lot of ways you are. But that kind of thinking will only further alienate you from others. Practicing humility is the best possible advice I can give to help with reintegration into civilian life.
Carson did feel more “experienced.” He’d seen things in the war that he could never explain to people who hadn’t gone through the same thing.
Veterans need to recognize that even a short tour in a combat zone can have an effect on them. While it takes everyone some time to recover after coming home, those who have seen, or been directly affected by a traumatic or horrific event (using your own definition or a generally accepted definition of such an event), need to be able to reconcile that it may have an impact on their lives and relationships with others after the deployment is over.
Since Carson had no family and his grandfather was dead, he didn’t need to worry about that.
Seeking help is not a sign of weakness, no more than asking your buddy to cover your backside. The body may heal from scars and wounds readily, but the scars and wounds of trauma can last much longer and are more difficult to heal.
Difficult? A caustic laugh escaped from him. The cough he’d developed in Afghanistan would never go away, and no one could convince him otherwise.
I promise that, in time, you will see that your civilian counterparts are skilled and have a perspective that you may not have ever considered. And through a respect for what they do and what they have done, you will learn that you, too, are valued and respected.
Carson had always respected the ranch staff and knew he could count on their support.
Just as you are on edge in the beginning, they too may be a little unsure of how to treat you and how to act around you.
They’d treat him just the same as always.
So, take the first step. Be patient, be kind and be humble, and you will see that the transition is much easier.
“Gentlemen?” Dr. Rimer came back in the room where most of them were coughing because of the same affliction. He was followed by a five-star general decked out in full-dress uniform. Carson glanced at his buddies, Ross and Buck, wondering what was going on.
“I’m pleased and honored to introduce General Aldous Cook. He’s anxious to talk to you men recovering in the unit. He’s been asked to do some investigating for the Senate committee examining the troubling findings of the Millennium Cohort Study of 2009.”
The eight of them got to their feet and saluted him before shaking his hand.
The General smiled. “Be seated, gentlemen. I’m honored to be in your presence and want to thank you for your invaluable service to our country.” He cleared his throat. “I understand you’re all going home tomorrow and have a great deal on your minds so I’ll make this quick.
“As you’re well aware, a significant number of returning American veterans like yourselves have reported respiratory problems that started during deployment to Iraq and Afghanistan. The study of 2009 revealed that fourteen percent of the deployed troops reported new breathing problems, compared with ten percent among those who hadn’t deployed.
“Though the percentage difference seems small when extrapolated for the two million troops who’ve been deployed since 2001, the survey suggested that at least 80,000 additional soldiers have developed post-deployment breathing problems.
“There’s a fierce debate under way over just how long-lasting and severe these problems really are. We’re tracking the numbers accrued among the troops based in Southern Afghanistan since 2009, particularly the Marines.
“After ruling out other factors, it’s apparent that the powerful dust storms, plus the fine dust from metals, toxins and burn pits used to incinerate garbage at military bases, are the potential culprits. Steps need to be taken to reduce the hazards, and I’m concerned that this exposure isn’t getting the serious review it needs.
“Dr. Rimer has indicated you’ve all improved since you’ve been here, but we’ll continue to track your progress. He assures me that with time, most of you will overcome your coughing and shortness of breath.”
Tell us another fairy tale, General.
“My concern is that every one of you receives the post-deployment care you need for as long as you need it. I’m fighting for you in the congressional hearings.”
Along with the others, Carson stood up and applauded. At least the General had bothered to come to the hospital in person and make an attempt to get at the root of the problem. Carson admired him for that. The General chatted with each of them for a few minutes, then left. With the end of the NASCAR race now missed, everyone left the lounge except Carson and his two roommates, Ross and Buck.
They hadn’t known each other until six weeks ago, when the three of them had been flown here from their various divisions and diagnosed with acute dyspnea. But even if they were hacking, coughing and wheezing, at least they’d arrived at the hospital on their own two feet. It tore them up that some of their buddies—especially those who’d been married with families—hadn’t made it through the war.
The behavioral psychologist who’d been working with them suggested that, once they were discharged, they should find a positive way to work through their survivor’s guilt.
In addition to the guilt Carson already struggled with for personal reasons, he was barely functioning. During the long hours of the night when they couldn’t sleep, they’d talked about the wives and children who’d lost husbands and fathers from their own squads. If the three of them could think of a way to help those families, maybe they could forgive themselves for coming home alive.
At one point in their nocturnal discussions, Carson threw out an idea that began to percolate and gain ground. “What if we invited the fatherless kids to my ranch for a summer vacation? The ranch has lots of outdoor activities for kids who may not have spent much time out-of-doors. We could take them fishing and camping, not to mention horseback riding and hiking.”
Ross sat up in his bed. “All of those are good confidence builders. Heaven knows those children will have lost some confidence. How many kids are you talking about?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you have enough room for guests?”
“No. We’d have to live in the ranch house, so that wouldn’t work. We’d have to put up some cabins.”
“I could build them with your help,” Buck offered. “Construction is what I was raised to do.”
