knot of pain and sorrow formed in his throat. He closed his eyes as poignant memories resurfaced. It had been exactly thirty years ago today that they had met. It had been a day that changed his life forever. It was a day that brought him here every year, after finding out about her death fifteen years ago. By that time she had been dead three years already.
His heart grew heavy when he thought about all the wasted years they could have had together. They had begun dating during their senior year of college. Then a few days after graduation, after he had left for the Air Force Academy, she had left town without telling him or anyone where she had gone.
He stood, straightening his tall frame. The woman in the marked grave would have his heart until the day he died. He also knew that he would continue to come here each year and share this special day with her. It was their day.
Tears gathered in his eyes and slowly spilled down his cheeks as he turned toward the direction where his car was parked.
Until next year.
“This view of the ocean is breathtaking, Clayton,” Syneda said, leaning against the railing. From the balcony she watched the blue waters of the Atlantic Ocean ripple gently toward the shoreline of St. Augustine Beach.
“It sure is,” Clayton replied, coming to join her. He handed her a glass of wine. “Compliments of the management. They also left some entertainment brochures, as well as a visitors' guidebook to all the places to check out while we're here.”
Syneda accepted the glass.
“Thanks.” She looked out toward the ocean again. “I just can't believe all of this.”
“All of what?” Clayton asked, sitting down in a patio chair.
“All of this! The ocean view, the size of this condo, the list of activities lined up for us, this city's history. Everything! And don't you dare sit there and pretend not to be moved by all of it. This place is wonderful, and I plan on enjoying myself immensely the next seven days. Thanks again for inviting me.”
“You're welcome.” He took a sip of his wine. “I told you what Dex's reaction was to us vacationing together. What did Lorren have to say about it?”
Syneda set her glass on a small table and reclined in a nearby lounger. “At first she didn't believe it. She couldn't imagine the two of us being anywhere together for too long without arguing about something. But after I explained we agreed to stay away from controversial issues, she thought it was a great idea. According to her, no one will think twice about us going away together. She said everyone knows the differences in our personalities and philosophies make the two of us ever getting it on impossible.”
“See there. What did I tell you? You were worrying for nothing.”
“Maybe, but a girl has to know when to safeguard her reputation.” She grinned.
Clayton frowned. “You don't think your reputation is safe with me?”
Syneda smiled. “Let's put it this way, Clayton. Everyone knows about your womanizing lifestyle.”
“Really? And what exactly do you know?”
Syneda gave him a rueful smile. “For starters, thanks to your sisters, I know all about that case of condoms in your closet. Do you deny it?”
He chuckled, thinking he needed to have a talk with his sisters for getting into his business. “No. I don't deny it. It's better to be safe than sorry.”
“Have you ever given any thought to just doing without?”
He gave her a slow grin. “I've been doing without for a couple of months, and I don't like it too much.”
She laughed. “Poor baby. What's the matter? The women are finally resisting that Clayton Madaris charm?”
Clayton laughed. “No, that's not it. Would you believe for the past couple of months, I've had a totally insane idea running through my head.”
“What sort of insane idea?”
“I've been thinking that maybe it's time for me to stop playing around and get serious about someone.”
Syneda almost choked on her wine. “You gotta be kiddin'. I can't imagine you ever getting serious about any woman.”
Clayton grinned at the startled expression on her face. “Neither can I, and that's the reason I desperately needed a vacation. I needed to get away to rid my mind of such foolish thoughts. I must be going crazy to even consider such a thing.”
“I totally agree.”
He smiled. “I'm glad someone does. However, my family would disagree with you. They think it's past time for me to settle down.”
Syneda shook her head. “The reason I agree with you is because I understand completely. Falling in love isn't for everyone. I know it's definitely not for me.”
Clayton raised a brow. “Really? I thought most women dreamed of their wedding day.”
“Well, I'm not like most women. I have no intention of ever falling in love,” Syneda said matter-of-factly. She stared at him, eyes bright with curiosity. “What has held you back from ever getting serious with a woman?”
“Fear.”
“Fear? Fear of what?”
“Fear of becoming bored with the relationship. Because of my parents' rather close relationship, marriage to me means ‘forever after' and ‘till death do us part.' The thought of spending the rest of my life with the same woman is enough to give me nightmares. I'd be afraid of eventually becoming bored with her and feeling trapped. For Pete's sake, Syneda, forever after is a hell of a long time. Any kind of routine would drive me nuts.”
He then smiled. “I enjoy spontaneity, creativity and excitement. I don't want to be tied to a woman who would eventually have me settled into a dull life.”
He lifted his dark brow. “What about you? What's your hang-up about falling in love?”
Syneda took a long, deep breath before answering. She met his inquiring gaze. “As far as I'm concerned, falling in love means becoming dependent on that person for your happiness. I did that once and will never do it again.”
She stood. “I think I'll go unpack and turn in early. Our flight wore me out. What would you like to do tomorrow?”
Clayton set his glass on the table next to hers and also stood. “How about if we go on one of those sightseeing tours around town.”
“That sounds like fun. Well, good night, Clayton. I'll see you in the morning.”
“Good night, Syneda.”
Clayton watched as she walked off through the living room and toward the bedroom she had chosen to use. He couldn't help wondering about the man who had evidently hurt Syneda to make her feel the way she felt about falling in love.
Leaning against the balcony Clayton took his first sip of morning coffee and then released a satisfied sigh. “Ahh, good stuff,” he commented as he looked out at the ocean to enjoy the early-morning
