stop right there. He was not going to start thinking about her breasts. Though he had to admit that it was tough to ignore them when they pillowed so softly against him. And he realized suddenly, that his hands were straying lower, gently caressing her through her blouse, exploring places they shouldn’t be.
She chose that moment to pull back and dig a tissue out of her pocket. “I’m really sorry about this,” she said, wiping her nose. She gave him a shaky smile, tears still clinging to her long, dark lashes. “I guess I needed to vent.”
“Vent on me anytime,” he said. “That’s what I’m here for.”
“Oh, jeez, I got you all wet.” She pulled a fresh tissue out and wiped the moisture from his shoulder and chest. Sliding lower, closer to his waist, her fingers brushed against the taut skin of his stomach and a stab of desire pierced his gut. Instinctively he jerked.
She looked at him strangely, then, as if realizing what she’d done, her eyes widened and she yanked her hand back. “Sorry.”
There was a brief, awkward silence then her lower lip began to tremble and fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.
It broke his heart to see her so miserable. If anyone deserved unconditional happiness, it was Marisa.
Abandoning any inappropriate thoughts, he pulled her into his arms. “I’m so sorry, Marisa. Is there anything I can do to help?”
You could have sex with me. Marisa wondered what his reaction would be if she were to blurt it out. Would he be appalled? Intrigued? Would he fall back on the blanket laughing hysterically?
Probably the latter. There was no use speculating, because it would never happen. She would never work up the nerve to ask. She would never be able to handle the rejection when she heard that inevitable no.
“It comes down to me not having enough money saved,” she said, sniffling and resting her cheek against his damp shoulder. “I considered mortgaging the shop to make up the difference, but if I’m going to have a baby, I don’t want to jeopardize my financial security.”
“If I could, I would lend you the money, but producing this CD is sucking up all of my cash. I’ve had people calling me constantly with studio work, so much I’ve had to turn some of it down, but things are still tight.”
“I’ll get over this—eventually.”
Jake’s arms tightened around her. She felt the tickle of his breath against her hair, smelled the balmy scent of the spearmint candies he bought by the case since he’d given up cigarettes. Was it just her imagination or had they been touching each other an awful lot today? Or maybe they had always touched each other and it just felt different now. Not just different, but…nice.
Too nice.
“What really sucks,” he said, “is that if we pooled our money together, we could probably do one or the other, but that would mean one of us would have to sacrifice.”
“I could still get pregnant,” she said. “I would just have to find a man to—” She realized her mistake the second the words were out, but it was too late to take them back.
The hand that had been gently rubbing her shoulder came to a dead stop. “Find a man to do what, Marisa?”
There was a long, silent pause. Marisa extracted herself from Jake’s arms and glanced down at her wrist. “Wow, will you look at the time.”
Jake noted with amusement that she wasn’t wearing a watch. “Where are you going?”
“I should head back to the shop. Lucy probably needs me.”
As Jake watched her hastily rewrap her untouched sandwich and stuff it into the cooler, everything began to make a weird sort of sense. “When I walked into the store today, what were you and Lucy talking about?”
She avoided his eyes. “You know. The sex thing.”
“But why were you talking about it?”
“No reason.” She started to get up, but he reached for her arm and tugged her back down.
“You’re blushing again,” he said.
She reached up and pressed her fingers to her cheek.
“Were you talking about getting pregnant when I walked in?” he asked.
Sinking her teeth into her bottom lip, she nodded.
Holy—
Jake’s heart began to race. He could hardly choke out the next question. “Is that what Lucy meant when she said I would be perfect?”
He could barely believe it when her head wobbled up and down. He dropped her arm and sat back, stunned. Him getting Marisa pregnant? Lucy thought he would be perfect, but what did Marisa think? What did he think?
There was one obvious advantage to the situation—sex with Marisa. That alone would be tough to pass up. But he’d decided a long time ago that he would never have a family. He would be a lousy father, and an equally lousy husband. But Marisa wasn’t looking for a family, he reminded himself. She just wanted a baby.
His baby?
“I know.” Marisa laughed nervously. “I told Lucy what a stupid idea it is. I mean, you and me having a baby? Yeah, right.”
“Yeah, right,” he agreed, equal parts disappointment and relief burning through him. Either she didn’t think he was good enough to father her child, or the thought of making love to him was so repulsive she would never consider it.
No matter the reason, she was probably right. It was a crazy idea.
“So, you ready to go?” Marisa stood next to the blanket, cooler in hand. The sun burned bright behind her, hiding her face in shadow, but he could tell by her tone that she was anxious to leave. He’d lost his appetite anyway.
“Yeah, sure.” He pulled his shirt on and balled up the blanket, tucking it under his arm. They were both quiet as they walked back to her shop. When they got there she handed him the cooler.
“This isn’t going to make things weird, is it?” she asked, concern etched in the corners of her eyes. “You know, the whole baby thing.”
If he let it, maybe. But he wasn’t going to let himself take it personally. Nor could he blame her for thinking he wouldn’t be the right man to father her child. After all, she knew him better than anyone.
“Do you know how many women have come up to me after a show and offered to have my children?” He gave her a playful nudge. “I’m used to it.”
She handed him the cooler. “So, we’re good?”
“Yeah, we’re good.”
She reached for the door handle, then stopped, turning back to him. “Because it would be kind of strange. You know, you and me…together.”
He nodded. “Yep. Pretty strange.”
“I mean, not bad strange. Just, different.
