I hadn’t thought of that.
“I don’t see anything else in these papers, except property deeds, an infant death certificate, their marriage certificate and that sort of thing. I’ll go through this stuff again after time puts some distance between me and all this.”
Chapter 2
Heather got up, put the chain latch on the door and went to the kitchen for some water. She wanted to take the vitamin that Judson had brought her. She had expected to see dirty dinner dishes, pots and pans and cooking utensils piled up in the sink. Instead, the kitchen looked immaculate. She looked into the refrigerator and saw that Judson had put away the eggs and butter precisely as she would have.
“Hmm.” She wouldn’t have suspected that he was a neat freak. She got a glass of water and went back to bed. She owned several sexy negligees, yet Judson Philips had caught her looking frumpy. But so what? He had shown her that he could be sweet as well as charming, that he was thoughtful and kind. She couldn’t say that she was sorry about Judson’s visit, but she had a little pang in the region of her heart. Maybe the day would come when she could let herself freely go with a man she cared about and who cared for her, but she couldn’t for now. She had too far to go and a rough road ahead. But somehow…
Judson had grown up in a loving family. She needed to talk to her father. The explanation that “marriage didn’t suit everybody” suddenly did not suffice. There was always a reason why a marriage was in turmoil.
She reached for the phone and dialed Annie. “Hi. How’s Daddy?”
“I was reading the paper to him and he dosed off to sleep. He does that a lot lately.”
“I’ve got a cold, but if I can get better soon, I’ll be over there Friday and spend the weekend.”
“It’ll be good. He always cheers up when you’re here.”
Heather drove her own car to Hagerstown. She always felt guilty whenever her chauffeur spent a weekend sitting in the limousine with nothing to do, because she didn’t want to go anyplace. She parked in front of the family home, a white-brick Georgian, and went inside.
She hugged Annie, who met her at the door. “Hi. Is Daddy awake?”
“Yes, indeed. And he was so excited when I told him you’d be here. He’s in his room.”
She dashed up the stairs to her father’s room and knocked on the door. “Come in.” His once-deep baritone had become the voice of a weaker, older man.
“Hi, Daddy,” she said as she walked in his bedroom and saw him sitting in his big chair looking out the window. She leaned down, kissed his cheek and hugged him.
“Heather! How good to see you. Talking to you on the phone is one thing, but it’s always so good when you’re here. How was Cairo?”
“I always enjoy Egypt, Daddy. But progress is slow, and those conferences often seem more of a diplomatic liability than an asset.”
“You’re impatient. Until people begin to share information about their problems and look for solutions together, no progress will be made at all. Scott called me yesterday. I always wished you two would get together, but once you started that brother-sister thing, it didn’t stand a chance,” he teased.
She couldn’t help smiling. After three years, her father still hoped for the impossible between Scott and her. “He’s my best friend, Daddy.”
She didn’t think it time to bring up what she came there to discuss with him. Her father wouldn’t jump right into a conversation about his personal life, so she’d have to ease into it.
On Sunday morning after breakfast when the time approached to leave, she figured that she had no choice but to bring it up. But, he surprised her by saying that he had something to tell her.
“Let’s sit out on the back terrace where it’s sunny and warm,” she said, walking with him, matching his slow, unsteady pace.
“I guess you know I’m not getting better, Heather.” She leaned forward, knowing her father would say it, yet not wanting to hear it. “Nothing’s imminent, but we both have to prepare for it. I am not going to get better. I know it, and my doctor knows it.”
“But, Daddy, how can you say that? You’re much better today than when I was last here.”
“And I may be much worse tomorrow. That’s the way it goes, dear,” he said kindly. “But I don’t want you to worry. I’ve had a very good life, and you’ve been the best part of it.”
She patted his hand and counseled herself not to shed a single tear. “You know, Daddy, a couple of weeks ago Scott introduced me to his closest friend, Judson Philips. We’re attracted to each other, and he’s kind and—”
“The lawyer?”
She nodded.
“I’ve heard a lot about him.”
She had told him about Judson’s visit when she was sick earlier that week.
“He’s obviously interested in seeing whether the two of you can make it,” her father stated. “What’s holding you back?”
“Dad, you said some people aren’t suited to marriage. Maybe I’m one of them. After all, my mother wasn’t.”
“I see.” He looked into the distance, took a deep breath and shook his head.
“You were twelve or so when I told you that. It was an explanation that a child could understand, but I see that it gave you the wrong impression. You see, I was crazy in love with your mother, but Linda was in love with someone else, and I knew it. I thought I could teach her to love me. For a while, she tried to make a go of it, but she never stopped loving him. The relationship between us got worse, much worse. She knew how much I loved her and, because she was miserable, she baited me and every conversation led to an argument. One day, she called me at work and said she wouldn’t be there when I got home and that I should tell you whatever I thought would make it easier for you.”
“And you never heard from her again?”
“Not once. I have a strong feeling that she went to the other man, Lyle Carter. I didn’t blame her for that. I knew she was in love with him, but I always worried about her because he could be cruel.” At her silence, he continued. “I know this is a lot for you to take in. Don’t hate her. She thought I would be her salvation, but as hard as I tried, I couldn’t make her forget him.”
“Do you still care about her after all these years?”
He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. “I won’t say I’m still in love with her. That ended long ago. But the pain’s still there. After all, she gave me you, and for that, I’ll always have feelings for her.”
“You’re right. I wasn’t expecting this.”
He sat forward and braced his hands on his knees. “I want you to listen to me because what I’m telling you is important. Go ahead and pursue your goal of becoming a diplomat, but if that’s all you accomplish in life, you won’t have a sense of fulfillment. You need friends, spiritual fulfillment and
