And I don’t wanna be reminded of the possibilities every time I look at you.”
“Yo, man, don’t nobody tell me what to do.”
“Yeah. Well, guess what? I just did. Now get in the car, or find yourself somethin’ else to do tonight. Didn’t ask for no company, anyway.” Quinn opened the door, slammed it behind him and started the engine.
T.C. stood there debating what to do and Quinn slowly eased the car away while he was thinking. T.C. ran alongside the car, struggling to hold up his pants while knocking on the window.
“Yo, man, hold up! Whatchu doin’?”
Quinn pulled the car to a stop and lowered the window. “Make up your mind yet?”
T.C. looked around, shuffled his feet for a minute, and then pulled up his pants.
Quinn unlocked the passenger door.
By the time Quinn returned to his apartment on 135th Street, it was nearly 3:00 a.m. He hoped that Lacy was asleep, because if she wasn’t he was sure she’d stick her head out of her apartment door as soon as she heard his key turn in his lock. Lacy thought it was ridiculous that they should live in two different apartments, but as much as Quinn adored his sister, he needed his privacy. At least with this arrangement he had the best of both worlds: his privacy when he needed it, and the comfort and nurturing of his sister just a few steps away.
The door creaked on its hinges as he slowly pushed it open. The sound unconsciously caused his heart to beat a bit faster, and he had to stifle a chuckle. Like a kid sneaking in after curfew, he imagined that at any second the lights would come blazing on and irate parents would descend upon him: “Where you been, boy? Can’t you tell time? Get to your room and don’t come out.”
No lights came on. There were no parents waiting. There never had been. He flipped on the light switch and closed the door. Tonight, though, he would have welcomed having someone there. He would have even settled for one of Lacy’s lectures about the vagrancy of his life. He needed to feel cared about, especially tonight, and he couldn’t seem to shake the feelings of melancholia. Working the spots and talking with T.C., he’d seen himself as he was years ago, eager, hungry and willing to please, to be accepted, to be one of the boys. Sure, he’d paid his dues over the ensuing years. He’d earned a reputation, a degree of respect from his peers. He had a decent crib, fancy ride, designer clothes and enough women’s phone numbers to last him two lifetimes. And it all added up to zip. Outside Harlem, outside the security of the hood, he was nothing and nobody. This was his world. What else could he ever hope to be: the writer and musician that Lacy always talked about? Not in this world. Not in this reality.
Pulling off his jacket, he tossed it on the kitchen chair, then noticed the sheet of pink paper on the table with the familiar scrawl.
Hey, bro,
I know you didn’t eat anything worth the time it took to fix it. Dinner is in your oven. Don’t let me find it there in the morning. Max was here. She asked about you, though Lord only knows why. Get some rest.
Jesus loves ya and so do I.
Lacy
Quinn smiled and folded the piece of paper. The light was on.
It was about noon Saturday when Quinn bounded down the stairs of the apartment building and smacked into Maxine Sherman, who was coming through the door.
He felt her lush softness crush against the length of him, then bounce away with the force of their collision. His arm snaked out and grabbed her around the waist, halting her descent back down the stairs. “Sorry, babe. You all right?”
Maxine felt as if the wind had been sucked from her lungs, and it had nothing to do with their near calamity.
She smiled up at him. Her dark eyes sparkled. “I’m fine. I just need to watch where you’re going,” she teased. She begged her heart to be still. “Where are you off to in such a hurry?” She could feel his warm breath graze her face.
Quinn took a short step back and released his hold. “Have some folks to meet. What about you? Lacy’s not here. She’s pulling the early shift at the hospital.”
She tapped her forehead with her palm. “Oh, I completely forgot.” She shifted her purse from her right hand to her left. She took a quick look at her feet, summoned her courage and looked up into Quinn’s penetrating gaze. “Mind if I walk with you?”
“Naw, not really. Actually, I was takin’ my ride.” He smiled, and her world seemed momentarily brighter. “Sure, come on. We ain’t hung out in a while.”
“So, how you been, Max?” Quinn asked, pulling the Beamer into the early morning traffic. The scent of rich leather mixing with the sounds of the rap group RBL Posse blaring from the speakers enveloped them. “Still at the bank?”
“I’ve been okay, I guess.”
“You guess?” He turned toward her and smiled.
Maxine ducked her head and grinned. “What I mean is, things are just so-so. Nothing spectacular. And yes, I’m still at the bank. But I don’t intend to stay there forever. I’m studying Travel and Tour at the community college. I’ll have my own travel business one day.”
“Hmmm. That’s all good. I know it’ll work out for you,” he said, though he couldn’t see how. But then again, things were different for women—better. Black women definitely stood a better chance of getting out and making a real life. As a black man he didn’t even stand a good chance of catching a New York City yellow cab in Harlem. He had yet to meet a black man who owned his own business through legal means.
“Where’s your man? I know there’s got to be somebody takin’ care of all that,” he teased, moving away from the topic that haunted him.
She hesitated, weighing her response. “There’s no one special.”
“Fine thing like you. Brothers must be crazy not to snatch you up.”
“Humph. That’s what I keep saying,” she rejoined.
“The right dude’ll come along and sweep you off your feet just like in those romance books that you and Lacy love to devour.” He chuckled at the thought.
Maxine poked him in the arm. “Very funny. Those books are good. There’s a lot more to them than folks like you give them credit for.”
“Yeah, right. You tellin’ me those blond-haired, blue-eyed devils could tell you ’bout lovin’ a man? What do they have in common with us? Arr-nold, pretty boy Tom Cruise, De Niro?”
“First of all, love is a universal thing, Q. Color has nothing to do with it. We all feel it and we all want to experience it with the right person. Besides, the new wave of romance novels that we read have black characters, showing black men who are about something, and the women. At least in those books it’s a place where we can read about black people in a positive light. Not like how we’re always played in the news and on TV. I know you think they’re corny, but they have a lot of reality in them. They’re about people just like you and me. About them struggling to get their relationships together while dealing with life. Just because they’re about love don’t mean that there’s nothing to them.”
Quinn
