that the call was probably just an unnecessary interruption, but he also realized that he stood frozen waiting for Brianna to answer his question.
“No, actually I just thought I’d call to give you some good news for a change.”
The voice on the other end of the phone suddenly sounded soft, sweetly feminine and decidedly friendly. Warning bells went off in his head and he looked at himself in the mirror. Suddenly, the whole episode seemed funny and he laughed, putting the toothbrush back into its case.
“And what would that be?” His relief was so thorough that he was caught off guard, feeling an immediate sense of relief, which was followed by an abrupt shift to curiosity.
“Oh, it’s just that Jacqueline has decided she wants to be just like her daddy and be a doctor. I thought it was the cutest thing. I also thought you’d get a kick out of hearing about it.” She laughed deeply, the intimacy of sharing their daughter’s dreams and hopes coming through in her voice.
Terrance joined her for a moment, then was brought back to present-day reality when he remembered that this was the same woman whose moods could change on a dime—and usually Terrance was the scapegoat.
The fact that their two-and-a-half-year-old daughter was still unable to speak coherently also made him realize Brianna’s statement had to be taken with a grain of salt.
In his mind, this was a woman who alternated between existences, never knowing what she really wanted or what she needed, especially when it came to him and their marriage.
Shortly after Jacqueline’s birth, Brianna had insisted that she return to work. They hadn’t really needed the money, but in the end, he’d agreed just to keep her from being miserable. As an emergency room nurse, the hours she’d picked up had taken them from simply getting by to doing very nicely. But he’d noticed a change in Brianna’s personality immediately and wondered if this was what he’d have to contend with forever. He’d also wondered if her behavior was the result of too much pressure, not enough support or just a lack of maturity. It hadn’t taken long for him to get an answer.
Daily complaints about not having enough time to be herself, not enough room to have any space and not enough air to breathe soon became a mantra. Brianna began staying out even when she wasn’t scheduled to work and often came in the following morning.
Terrance had attributed it all to stress, both on the job and in her new role as a mother. It wasn’t until he realized that they were no longer making love, no longer spending real time together and no longer communicating in any meaningful way that he began to suspect otherwise.
The arguments began including accusations, recriminations, denials and worst of all, threats which very often left him shaking his head in amazement. He’d never realized that she had been unhappy. In his mind, the baby had rounded out any rough edges the marriage had contained. In the arguments Brianna presented, their daughter’s birth had only served as a catalyst. Now, in her mind, she felt like her life, her identity and her youth were slipping away.
Terrance was unsure as to Brianna’s real motivations but one thing was sure—they would never be able to go on if the current daily tirades continued.
He’d made it clear, stood his ground and waited for Brianna’s response. He remembered the evening they’d argued and then Brianna had retired to the bedroom, emerging some twenty minutes later, dressed in a flowery tank top, white shorts and white sandals.
She’d let her hair fall down around her face, curled the ends slightly, and despite their argument earlier, Terrance couldn’t help but notice that she was still a beautiful woman. At that moment, though, the fact that his wife was looking decidedly hot in a way that reminded him of college, only angered him.
“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” he asked, ready to do battle again to defend his home, his family, his life.
“I’m going out. There’s no sense in sticking around here watching you. I already know how you feel about this so save your breath. I’ll be back in time for you to leave for work. The baby is asleep.” Her words sounded hollow, flat—and they appeared to echo in his head as he watched her saunter over to the door.
“You have got to be kidding. Bree, we just talked about this stuff. You cannot just hang out whenever you choose to. You are a married woman, a wife, a mother—I mean, this is unheard of,” he said, his breath coming in short gasps as he struggled to keep his anger under control.
“Look, Terrance. We’ve already had this discussion. I can do anything I damn well please. I contribute to this household, I keep this place running, I take care of our daughter, I do it all.” Her voice raised with each additional chore she listed and in the end, she was almost screaming. Color rose in her cheeks and the pretty that Terrance had assigned to her only moments before, somehow now took on a grotesque quality that made him turn away.
This was his wife, the mother of his child, the woman he’d held in his arms on many nights and made love to. The woman who stood before him now no longer resembled anyone he’d ever loved or would continue to love. She was a stranger, both in emotion and intention.
He realized at that moment that their marriage was disintegrating before his eyes and the realization shook him to his core. The foundation they’d built was crumbling.
“Fine. If you feel the answer to our problems is for you to continue to run the streets each time we have words, go right ahead. I hope you find something out there that will offer you what you already have—but I sincerely doubt it,” he ended, his voice filled with emotion.
“I’m not looking for anything,” she replied curtly, then left the apartment quickly.
Several months later, with the same scene playing out over and over again, including an escalation in arguments over the same unacceptable behavior, they’d agreed to separate.
Terrance was devastated. In his mind, there was no plausible reason their marriage had failed. He attributed it to Brianna’s immaturity and his lack of ability to control her.
She’d requested the apartment, the furniture, the car and half their bank accounts. They would share custody of Jacqueline. He’d acquiesced because of one thing—guilt. He felt guilty each time he realized that his daughter had been cheated out of growing up with both her parents in the same home, and that he’d been powerless to change that eventuality.
In the end, Brianna won simply because he hadn’t wanted to drag things out any longer. He’d had to start anew, from scratch, on everything. He’d consoled himself with the fact that his daughter would benefit somehow. Seeing and hearing her parents tear one another apart couldn’t possibly be healthy or beneficial.
On a more practical note, months later, he still felt disgruntled each time he thought of the furniture they’d purchased together, or items he needed to replace, which he realized he was doing for the second time.
These thoughts and more rambled through his head quickly as he held the phone to his ear, putting one arm into a white button-down shirt, which he quickly rolled the sleeves up on.
“Listen, I just wanted you to know that your daughter is a chip off the old block. Jacqueline may have been born to two parents who were in the midst of a marital meltdown, but the genes are still there.”
“I suspect she’s a powerful mix of us both. Where is the little princess?”
“Actually, Godmother Grace just
