Which only went to show how crazy he’d been. Why had he hopped a plane going in the opposite direction from Florida, where he’d intended spending some of his leave checking up on his buddy’s family? A sudden aberration of the brain? Had to be. No other explanation for finding himself in this place called Taupo. On the long-haul flight, squashed amongst gear and guys, he’d tried not to dwell on his uncharacteristically impulsive action. Like that had been possible.
What had happened to Mr Cool, the guy who planned every move of his life? He didn’t do random. Random got you shot in a war zone. Got you in all sorts of trouble anywhere. Besides, he was an officer in the army where lateral thinking didn’t go down too well with the top brass.
Marshall grimaced. All control gone in a haze of yearning for something intangible, for someone who regularly flitted through his mind. So close yet so far away. Charlie Lang. Woman wonderful.
She’d been responsible for the fog in his head and the gnawing sense of finally reaching a destination he’d been aiming for ever since he’d waved her goodbye back in Honolulu more than two years back.
Closing his eyes, he leaned back against the headrest. Charlie. ‘Because of you I’ve come all this way with no idea if I’m even welcome.’ Of course he’d be welcome. Charlie would be thrilled to see him. Why wouldn’t she? They’d got on well.
‘You spent all your time together in bed.’
So? That had worked out just fine. Could be that they might do some more bed gymnastics while he was here. Unless she’d got hitched to some dude in the intervening years. Air caught in his lungs. She wouldn’t have. Would she? Why not? Charlie was one very sexy lady who any man would be happy to get up close and personal with.
Okay. Don’t go there. Presume until told otherwise that Charlotte was still single and willing. They had been very compatible. He’d never known sex like it. She’d pressed every button he had and some. One look at her across the ED and he’d been a goner, falling into those deep blue pools blinking out at him from under a thick blonde fringe.
His belly rumbled with hunger. Snatching up the BLT sandwich he’d picked up at the same time as the soda, he bit into it. Chewing thoughtfully, he hoped it was hunger and not nerves making his gut carry on like a washing machine. Like he ever did nervous. Not even on a recce when he knew armed insurgents were waiting to take a crack at him.
The sandwich went down a treat, making him feel almost human again. Ready to do battle. If it came to that. As if it would. Charlie would be happy to see him. But he’d been on edge for so long he couldn’t quite get a grip on things. He’d come off that flight feeling like rubbish, knowing he should hop on the next plane out of the country, no matter where it went. But he hadn’t. Instead, he’d gone looking for a way to get to Taupo.
A New Zealand officer at Whenuapai had organised a room on the base so he could scrub up, shave two days’ growth off his face, change into civvies and have a decent meal. Then that same guy had driven him to the nearest car rental place.
Marshall knew he should’ve stopped overnight and caught some proper shut-eye. Instead, he’d been driving on foreign roads through a sprawling city, then through amazing countryside to reach this small town nestled on the edge of the country’s largest lake. He might’ve been more prepared to cope with what he’d travelled so far for if he’d waited until tomorrow.
He snorted. ‘For sure. If you’re not ready to see Charlie by now, know what you want to say to her, you’re never going to be.’ How else was he ever going to sleep properly again? ‘But what am I going to say to her? Hey, buddy.’ He looked up at the sky. ‘Rod, you own this idea so help me out here.’
Sweat beaded on his forehead as his heart thudded against his ribs. Charlie was the woman he went to in his head at night after a hideous day on patrol. She was the woman who’d touched him like no other ever had. She’d gotten under his skin and wouldn’t go away, no matter that he’d known he mustn’t have her again. He had obligations that didn’t include her. And yet here he was.
‘It’s not too late to turn around and head back up to Auckland.’ But then he’d never have closure. Would always wonder what he might’ve gained by seeing Charlie one more time. This time he’d say goodbye properly so as his heart understood exactly where it stood. No notes slipped into her pocket.
Back in Honolulu he’d done the right thing by deliberately telling Charlie nothing about himself, not even which state he’d grown up in. He’d been strong, tough, thinking he was doing her a favour.
Their fling had been short, sweet, exciting and hot, not to mention mind-numbing. At the end of it he’d hopped a plane ride out of Honolulu bound for the base in Kansas to prepare for his next posting to Afghanistan. He’d been so damned confident he could walk away from Charlie Lang without a care in the world, never to think of her again. Right? Wrong.
Glug, glug. The remaining soda coursed down his throat. Coming here had to be right up there with being totally selfish. But he didn’t know any other way to exorcise Charlie from his brain, where she seemed to have branded him—with images of her gut-twisting smile, her light laughter, her very sexy body. Hell, even thinking about that turned him on. The heat south of his belt had nothing to do with his head and all to do with being closer to Charlie than he’d been in a very long time.
So he’d come to get her out of his system? Not to get back in the sack with her?
‘Yeah, well, I’m a little confused right now.’
Not once in those passion-filled weeks had he asked where Charlie was headed after she’d finished her time in Honolulu. So sure had he been that he’d never follow up on her. But she’d told him anyway, making it scarily easy to locate her when he’d given in to the deepening need clawing at him. The world could be a very small place at times.
Now here he was at the bottom of that world, around the corner from Charlie’s house. Soon he’d see her for real and realise his dreams had lied, that those wonderful memories were vapour, not real. That she’d been a very ordinary woman out for a bit of fun. Then he could get on with life the way he needed to live it, following his army career as hard as possible, even if it wasn’t so rewarding any more. Especially as Rod hadn’t made it. Guilt was his constant companion. Duty to his men his creed.
Voices washed over him as kids on bikes wheeled past the open window of his rental. Free as the birds they were. Sometimes he missed being a kid and being able to ride horseback around the ranch with his grandfather.
‘Aren’t you forgetting something?’
Yup. The weeks when Dad had come home on leave from the army and forced his discipline on his son. Harsh, unforgiving, relentless. That was the old man. He’d ruled by his fists. Hard to believe Granddad had spawned his father. Couldn’t get two more dissimilar men.
Flick. His mind returned to the nagging questions that refused to die down. Would Charlie greet him with open arms?
Or would she give him a bollocking for breaking the pact they’d made in Hawaii?
Let’s have fun and leave it at that. No contact afterwards, no regrets.
In the deep of the night when he couldn’t sleep—most nights—he wondered if Charlie’s willingness to go along with his ultimatum had meant there had been someone else in her life back here in New Zealand. Some guy she’d wanted to set up house and raise a family with. Had she been sowing some oats in Honolulu
