with him at all. He wondered if her anger was at him specifically or men in general. Or maybe she didn’t like men who welched on their commitments and responsibilities. Could he blame her for that?
“I want to see her,” he said. “My daughter, I mean, not Lucy. If I haven’t signed the papers, can I do that?”
Some of the tension left Kelly’s face. Her full lips curved up in a sweet smile. “I can do better than that, Mr. Malone. I can let you hold her.”
“This isn’t a good idea,” Tanner said ten minutes later as Kelly started to put a tiny wrapped bundle into his arms. “I don’t do the baby thing. I sort of ignored my nieces and nephew until they got past the breakable stage.”
“She’s tougher than she looks,” Kelly promised, even though he knew she was lying. “Just relax. Bend your arm so she’s completely supported and her head can rest in the crook of your elbow.”
The baby was red and kind of squished looking. He couldn’t see any part of her except for her face. Even her head was covered with a little pink cap. She was too tiny not to scare the pants off him. And when Kelly placed her in his arms, she seemed to weigh nothing at all.
“Oh, God.” He placed his free hand against her side to keep her from slipping and stayed completely still. “She’s about the size of a football.”
“I’ll have to take your word on that.”
He glanced up and saw that Kelly was still smiling at him. No doubt she was amused by his stiffness, but he’d never held a newborn before.
“Now what?” he asked.
“Say hello, or anything else that comes to mind. She’s your child, Mr. Malone. What would you like to do?”
Give her back, he thought, but he didn’t say that. “Call me Tanner.”
Kelly chuckled. “Most fathers prefer Daddy.”
He glanced at her. “I was talking to you. You keep saying Mr. Malone. I’m Tanner. I’d shake hands, but they’re tied up at the moment.”
“I understand.” She pointed to the baby. “It’s okay to move around if you’d like.”
He shook his head, too scared to do anything but stand there holding his daughter. Feelings swelled up inside of him, emotions that he could barely identify. There was pride and fear, but so much more. A sense of having been part of a miracle. Was this tiny creature really flesh of his flesh? Had he had some small part in creating her?
Kelly seemed to understand his confusion. She patted his arm, then stepped back to give him time alone.
Tanner took a tentative step, then another. His daughter didn’t wake up. He risked a tiny rocking motion. When she stirred, he froze.
Against his arm he felt small movements. His daughter puckered her mouth, then opened her eyes and stared up at him.
She had blue eyes…Malone blue. He remembered reading somewhere that newborns couldn’t see all that well, but at that moment it seemed to him that his baby could see into his soul.
Tanner Malone had never been a believer in love at first sight, nor had he ever experienced anything even remotely close to it. But as he stared down at the tiny infant who was his child, he felt himself falling faster and harder than he ever had before in his life.
Chapter Two
Kelly watched the play of emotions across Tanner’s face and knew he was a goner. Deep inside, she felt the first flicker of guilt. Maybe it had been wrong to let him hold his daughter. There was something special about holding a newborn. A friend of hers had once described it as one of life’s few incredibly perfect moments. She’d allowed Tanner to experience the magic, but what about the reality? Could he handle that?
Kelly told herself that if he hadn’t been open to wanting his child, he wouldn’t have felt anything while the baby was in his arms, but she wasn’t sure she believed that. Was she doing the right thing? Could Tanner Malone handle having a baby in his life? Unfortunately, based on his stunned expression, he no longer had a choice in the matter.
He looked at Kelly, his eyes dark with panic. “I want to keep her. Is that wrong?”
“She’s your daughter, Tanner. How can you wanting to raise her be wrong?”
“I can give you about three dozen reasons, starting with the fact that I know less than zero about babies. Then there’s the issue of my twenty hour days.”
“You’ll make it work. Millions of single parents do every day.”
He didn’t look convinced. “Maybe. So what happens now?”
“Now I notify the hospital that Baby Ames won’t be given up for adoption and that her name should be changed to Baby Malone.”
Tanner smiled that devastating smile again. Fortunately for Kelly’s equilibrium, it was focused on his daughter, not at her. “Did you hear that? You’re my little girl and everyone is going to know it. You’re Baby Malone.”
“You might want to think about getting her a first name,” Kelly said dryly. “She’s going to find Baby Malone a little difficult when she gets to school.”
He nodded. “You’re right. So what happens after you tell the hospital?”
“You’re going to have to talk to the adoption agency and tell them you’ve changed your mind. Legally, it’s not a problem. If you haven’t signed the papers, they can’t make you give up your daughter. However, you’re still going to need a good lawyer. You’ll have to make custody arrangements with Lucy. I’m guessing that if she was willing to give the baby up for adoption she won’t want visitation rights, but you’ll have to check. There’s also the issue of support.” She frowned. “There might be more, but a good family lawyer can answer those questions better than I can.”
“Too much to think about,” he said quietly, still looking at his daughter. “I don’t want anything from Lucy. If she wants to walk away from her daughter, then that’s fine with me. I don’t need her money.”
“You’ll have to work that out with her. She’s still in the hospital if you want to talk with her.”
He glanced up. “She can have visitors?”
“Of course. It was giving birth, not brain surgery. She probably feels like she was run over by a truck, but she’s healthy and in great shape. She’ll recover quickly. Both she and the baby will be released tomorrow.” She hesitated and wondered if Tanner had any clue what he was getting into. “I can ask that your daughter be kept here until the afternoon. That should give you time to arrange things.”
“What kind of things?”
Kelly drew in a deep breath. It was worse than she thought. “Tanner, have you ever been around a newborn before?”
“No, like I said, I avoided my brother’s kids until they were past the breakable stage.”
“I see.” She wasn’t sure how to break the news to him. “Your life is about
