Suddenly she was tired, confused, and just wanted him gone.
‘Don’t worry, I will. But before I leave you need to hear a few home truths—something to think about before I return tomorrow,’ he told her curtly. ‘Whatever you may think, Ben does need me. However much you try to deny it, the boy is part Greek. He is going to inherit a major Greek company one day, and a lot more. He needs to know the language and how to handle the responsibility—not something he is likely to learn stuck in a quiet backwater of the English countryside with a mother and great-aunt his only family.’
Phoebe listened in growing alarm as a stony-faced Jed continued in a cold, hard tone. ‘I remember you told me your parents died in a car accident when you were seventeen. But Ben has a grandfather, an aunt and uncle, cousins, and a dozen other relatives in Greece—not to mention a father,’ he declared with an arrogant arch of one ebony brow. ‘Do you really think he will thank you later for depriving him of the largest part of his family?’ he queried. ‘Or is it more likely he will grow to resent you for depriving him of what is his by right?’
With a sinking heart Phoebe realised what Jed said could very well be true. Did she have the right to deprive Ben of the Greek side of his family? In her heart she knew the answer was no, and the realisation sapped what little energy she had left. All she wanted to do was go to bed and bury her head under the pillow, pretend today had never happened, but she knew that was not an option.
‘You may be right,’ she sighed, too exhausted to argue further.
‘You know I am, Phoebe,’ he drawled, his eyes no longer cold as they met hers. Something in the gleaming depths made her heart miss a beat. ‘You may think you have the ideal life with Ben, but there is nothing ideal about bringing up a child without a father. Even a part-time one, as you think I would be.’ He lifted his hand and drew a gentle finger down her cheek. ‘But given a chance I could surprise you.’
Jed did…His hand slipped lower down to curve round her waist, and with his eyes still locked with hers, the warmth in them unmistakable, he bent his head and brushed her lips with his. He kissed her softly, gently, before raising his head, a wry smile on his handsome face.
‘What was that for?’ Phoebe asked, stirred by his tenderness when she did not want to be.
‘For Ben, and for what we shared in the past—and for what we just shared now on your very accommodating sofa. I could not leave you in anger. Sit and finish your drink. I’ll see myself out.’
Phoebe was left staring at his broad back as he walked out of the room. She was still standing when she heard the front door softly close. Only then did she sink back down into the armchair. Picking up her glass of wine, she drained it.
Damn! She was mindlessly obeying Jed again…and swearing was in danger of becoming a habit with her all because of him.
She glanced wearily around, her gaze alighting on the sofa. It was impossible to miss it, dominating the room, but she would never be able to sit on it again without remembering her downfall—and Jed.
Amazingly, with all the anger, fear and humiliation she felt at her own weakness where he was concerned, a smile curled her kiss-swollen lips as she saw again in her mind Jed’s big body sprawled on the floor, and the look of total confusion on his face as to how he had got there—identical to Ben’s when he had a fall. Jed had looked funny, and he had surprised her because instead of being angry, as she had expected, he’d been amused…
He had surprised her also with his adamant denial that he had suggested a termination. For years she’d believed that he had, and had used it to cling to her hatred of him, but now she was forced to face the fact she was probably wrong. He had never actually said the word. All she had heard was that Dr Marcus would ‘take care’ of her pregnancy and that Jed would pay for everything, and in her emotional state, with her innocent fantasy of a ring and marriage so brutally squashed, maybe she had been thinking a bit wildly and put the worst connotation on his statement…
Not that what she had thought made any difference now.
Jed was here and he wanted his son, and she had to deal with him.
PHOEBE barely slept, and when she did a tall dark man haunted her dreams. She awoke with a start to find Ben standing by the bed. She glanced at the clock—six-thirty in the morning. Watching Ben scramble up on to the bed, demanding she get up, she laughed and gave him a cuddle—but inside she was worried sick at the thought of how his young life might change with the arrival of Jed Sabbides.
As for her life—the very idea of Jed sweeping in and out of it for heaven knew how long didn’t bear thinking about. Having to see him on a regular basis visiting Ben was not something she looked forward too, but after a long, restless night she realised she would eventually have to give Jed more than supervised visiting rights to his son. Subjecting Ben to a custody battle was a pointless exercise. As his mother, she had no doubt she would win full custody, but the courts would certainly give Jed partial rights anyway. The only alternative offered—to marry the man—was completely out of the question. She had trusted Jed once with her heart and soul, and he had destroyed her trust. A marriage might work without love if there was respect and friendship between the couple, but without trust there was no hope.
Phoebe would never trust Jed again, and she could think of no hell on earth worse than being married to a man her own innate honesty forced her to admit she had little to no power to resist on a sexual level. That was something else she had learned last night as she awoke from a dream, her body hot and throbbing with frustration.
For years, sex or the lack of it had not bothered her—yet Jed in no time at all had reduced her to a sensually needy female with an ease that scared her. No way was she putting her head in that noose again.
In that moment Phoebe made her decision. She would tell Jed she was willing to amend the conditions on his visiting rights and allowing him to see Ben. At first it would be in her presence, but later, once Ben was comfortable with him, on his own. It was a big concession on her part, which meant eventually gifting Jed a modicum of trust, but not yet—and she wasn’t going to tell him today…
Today she was going to take Ben to the caravan they owned at a holiday park on the edge of Weymouth Bay. They spent all their holidays there and Ben loved the place. They could pick up the wallpaper for his bedroom in the home decor shop in Weymouth, and over the weekend go searching for fossils at Lyme Regis before closing the caravan up for the winter. The autumn half term holiday was usually the last time they used the caravan until the next year. She wasn’t really running away…
Maybe it was cowardly, Phoebe admitted, but she did not feel like facing Jed again quite so soon—not after so helplessly falling apart in his arms last night. She needed time to regain her emotional balance, and this was the perfect solution. At least she could avoid him for a couple of days.
Her car was parked at the end of the drive, the case with their clothes was in the boot, and they were almost ready to leave.
Phoebe glanced around. It was beautiful crisp autumn morning, the sun was shining, and she took a deep breath, her spirits rising. She was warmly dressed in a blue ribbed wool sweater and grey trousers, her cashmere jacket was already in the car, and she glanced at her son.
‘Right, Ben, have you got everything? Rucksack and wellies for the beach?’ she prompted, and she smiled as he held up his bright red wellington boots and bag. ‘Good—put them in
