up to broach the subject herself. “It’s awkward. I mean, isn’t it awkward for you?”
It might have been if he wasn’t with someone he knew was on the same page. “It’s not a big deal. I mean, it’s just talk. From my sisters. I’m used to it. But then, I’ve never been engaged. So I’m probably not so sensitive as you are.”
There was a subtle tensing of her shoulders and Garrett knew he’d touched a nerve. “You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to, but I’d like to know what happened.”
They continued to walk another quarter of a block in silence. Only a few cars were passing so late on a weeknight downtown.
“With Paul, I was really young and very stupid,” she started. “We’d been friends since grade school and started to date at fifteen. He was the nicest boy I knew and, because we were such good friends first, when we hit the next level … the relationship kind of took.”
Garrett nodded his understanding. Though he hadn’t done much legitimate dating in high school himself, he remembered what it had been like with his friends. Oftentimes there’d been an attraction and not much else, which meant a fair amount of turnover when it came to young love. But not so for Nichole.
Because in this, like in everything else, she’d been different. Ahead of the curve.
And she’d paid for it.
“A lot of girls sort of had that wandering-eye thing. New crushes every month or so. But I liked having something steady in my life. I liked Paul as much as I loved him, and pretty soon we were graduating, and we’d been together for three years, and we were going to the same college. Everyone thought it was so romantic and kept asking us about whether we were going to get married. I think maybe we simply got used to the idea. Like, Yeah, of course we will. We love each other. Why not?” She was shaking her head then, with a quiet laugh. “Of course, the why not answer should have been, we were basically kids. Only no one seemed to notice.”
Garrett couldn’t even imagine. “What about your parents? Didn’t they try to talk you out of it? I mean what were you? Eighteen?”
“His parents thought we were a great match. His mom told me how I was like the daughter she’d never had. And my mom. Sheesh.” She opened her mouth, tried to find the words and seemed to fail. Then, pulling a guilty face, she tried again. “My mom is wonderful, but her priorities … her sense … sometimes it’s not what it should be. She got pregnant with me when she was seventeen and my dad never married her. He basically took off when he found out about me and sent a check once or twice a year for a while. So in her book, me getting married—and to a guy she’d known forever, with us both so close at Marquette University—it was about the best news she’d ever heard.”
He’d known her father wasn’t around. But it wasn’t until this moment he understood the extent of that absence. No father. No brother. Just a mother who’d wanted a commitment for her girl even if she was too young to make one.
Clearing his throat, he prompted her for more. “But it didn’t work out?”
She shrugged. “Paul came to his senses about six months before the wedding. He was so apologetic. So genuinely sorry. He was looking around him, seeing everyone else in the world just starting their lives and figuring out who they were. What they wanted. And there we were, ready to call it done. He thought we both deserved a chance to figure ourselves out a little more. And deep down I knew he was right. So we called off the wedding and went our separate ways. He transferred to a school out east and I got on with my life.”
She didn’t seem bitter. But he knew from talking with Maeve—and from the hints he’d picked up from her, her heart had been badly abused.
“And you met someone else?”
The way her features tightened up told him this schmuck was someone he never wanted to meet. Contrary to popular belief, and with a very few exceptions, Garrett wasn’t generally a violent guy. But the pain that flashed across Nichole’s face had him wanting to do physical harm before he’d even heard the story.
“Joel was …” She let out a sigh. “He was a few years older. And when I met him he just struck me as so confident. Like he totally knew what he wanted—which appealed to me, I’m sure, for very obvious reasons.”
“You thought he’d be safe.” Garrett gave her shoulder a rub and then stopped to take her hand in his. He wanted to know what had happened. Wanted to see her face when she told him.
“I’d had a couple of years to lick my wounds over Paul, and when Joel finally asked me out I was excited to go. Ready for something new.” She slanted a glance at him. “Ready for my mother to stop with the heavy sighs every time I talked to her and the subtle nudges that I should apologize to Paul—”
“What?” he barked out, but she waved him off.
“For pressuring him, or letting him go, or whatever it was that day. Anyway, she was probably more excited than I was when things got serious with Joel. And I guess I didn’t have enough experience to see what was real and what wasn’t. Maybe I didn’t want to see it because I was so hungry to build myself the family I’d wanted as a kid. Or maybe my heart just didn’t have any breaks on it. Who knows? But it never should have gone as far as it did.”
Garrett listened, his temper escalating as Nichole tried to explain what had gone wrong. The actions and events she’d misinterpreted. The off-the-cuff remarks she’d taken to heart. She was trying to tell him what had happened with this chump had been as much her fault as her ex’s, but all Garrett could see was some spineless jackass unwilling to take responsibility for his words and actions.
“He asked you to marry him. After two years. How is that rushing or your fault?”
Nichole’s skin looked pale beneath the fading light as she looked away, shame haunting her eyes. Making his gut twist for asking her.
“He said being with me was like being caught in a riptide. He didn’t realize how dangerous I was until it was almost too late.”
Dangerous.
Garrett’s teeth ground down as he struggled for patience. Told himself not to try to look this guy up so he could pay him a visit. Have a few words.
But, damn it, what a piece of work.
When she spoke again it was so quietly he almost missed it.
“I thought we wanted the same things. That we were in it together. But I was wrong.”
And though she didn’t say the word he knew it was there in her head. Again.
Garrett gripped her shoulders, pulling her into his chest so his words would fall from his lips to her ears. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting those things, Nichole. In the past, you just wanted them with the wrong guys. But you’re a different woman now. With more life experience. You won’t make the same mistakes. You won’t get burned again.”
Catching the delicate turn of her jaw in his palm, he met her eyes.
“When you meet the right guy—one who actually deserves you—you won’t be too young. You won’t be caught up in a bunch of empty promises. You’ll be ready and so will he.”
And
