laughed then. ‘Oh yeah? Your parents love you. You think they don’t but of course they do. They call you all the time, you do things for them all the time. It wouldn’t matter what you do, Sophy, no matter how awful, they’ll still love you, they’ll always love you. But no matter what I did, mine never loved me. And you know the result?’ His throat hurt as he hurled the truth out. ‘I’m damaged, Sophy. Treat someone like an animal and they become an animal. And there’s no changing that.’ That was what her father knew too. ‘You have no idea of the rage I can feel. I frighten myself. And I refuse to frighten you.’
He stopped, breathing hard. He couldn’t stay in control of anything around her. And it terrified him.
‘You don’t frighten me, Lorenzo.’
‘I can’t control it,’ he said flatly, admitting the worst. ‘I don’t want to hurt you.’
‘You’re hurting me now.’
He shook his head. No, he was protecting her.
‘I love you, Lorenzo. Let me love you.’
‘No one can love me.’ He denied her—he had to. ‘And I can’t love. I won’t.’ His back was right up against the door now. ‘I can’t be part of any kind of family. I tried. And I failed every single time. I won’t try again, Sophy. Not even for you.’
‘You don’t have to. It can just be me, Lorenzo.’
He turned and opened the door. ‘It can’t,’ he said heavily. ‘You know it can’t. You want it all—and you should have it. The nice guy who loves you, who’ll stand at the barbie and talk sport with your father, who’ll be a good father to your babies.’ He looked over his shoulder at her. ‘What the hell kind of dad would I make?’ The knife dug deep in his heart and he screwed his eyes tight against the pain. ‘I don’t need it. Don’t want it. Not happening. Not ever happening.’ He stood in the open doorway, the cold pre-dawn air chilling the hall. ‘I’m sorry I manhandled you tonight. You were right. It’s over.’
Sophy cried. Curled into a ball in the hall and sobbed her heart out. So ironic, wasn’t it, that the ‘perfect’ boyfriend had only wanted her for the kudos he could get from her family, while the one she loved wanted nothing to do with her because of them—at least in part? After an age she moved, sat staring at the dining table for hours, barely seeing the pattern in the wood as the conversation circled in her head. And her anger with him grew.
Coward. The selfish, bitter coward.
Yet she hurt so much for him—the hell he’d been through. He’d missed out on so much. As a result he didn’t understand love. And she wanted to help him understand it. She had to talk to him again, had to show him. Somehow she had to get through to him—or at least try.
By the time she summoned the courage it was after nine the next morning. He was out the back of the warehouse already. He was in jeans, but had no tee on, hadn’t shaved. He’d been at it for a while because his body was gleaming. But he didn’t stop bouncing the ball. Didn’t stop to look at her.
‘You’re wrong, Lorenzo. You know you’re wrong.’
He said nothing.
‘You can’t stop me loving you.’
He took the shot but missed the hoop.
‘You’re using it as an excuse. You like playing the tortured loner type. It’s safe for you. You won’t let anyone close because you can’t bear to be rejected again. But I wouldn’t reject you.’
‘You would.’ His mouth barely moved.
She stepped in and snatched the ball, forcing him to look at her, to pay attention. ‘You’re right, my family do love me. No matter what they’ll love me. And if they know how happy you make me, they’ll love you—regardless of your past. But you won’t give them or me a chance because it’s easier not to.’ She took a shot but missed too. She turned to him as the ball bounced away. ‘You’re lazy. And you’re a coward.’
He looked at her, but there wasn’t the fire she’d hoped for. Just the dull stones.
‘I can’t presume to understand what you went through. I wouldn’t dare to. But I do know this—you can’t let it ruin the rest of your life. You can’t lose faith in everybody. And I don’t believe you have. Why else do you try to help those kids? Why else did you give Vance a chance with the bar? You try to keep yourself shut away but you can’t quite do it. And you couldn’t do it with me. Only now you’re scared. Now you’re trying to run. But you don’t have to, not from me.’
She stepped closer and took in a deep breath. ‘Everyone has problems, Lorenzo. We all do. But problems are best solved with help—and with support from the people who love you.’ He didn’t have to face his demons alone. She’d stand by his side and help him slay them. As he helped her.
He jerked, looking away from her and going back to the fence to get the ball. She stood, helplessly watching as he started the relentless practising again. She was waiting long moments for what—to be ignored?
She gulped, the burning hurt too strong to be held down any more.
‘You know, maybe I do know something of what you went through,’ she choked. ‘Maybe I do know something about loving someone, of wanting to be loved back but only to be rejected. Not wanted.’ The tears suddenly streamed down her face. ‘But at the end of the day it’s your loss. You could have had everything, Lorenzo. I would have given you everything.’
She ran then, wanting to get as far from this hell as she could. Everything—her hope, her heart, her love—was in tatters.
She didn’t hear it, didn’t see it, as she blindly ran as fast as she could. The last thing she was conscious of was the piercing screech of rubber on metal, and the animal scream in her ears.
THE door opened. Lorenzo turned his head as the woman burst in.
‘Where—?’ She broke off, gulping as she saw the pale figure in the bed. ‘Oh, Sophy.’ The tears sprang just like that. ‘Is she going to be okay?’
Lorenzo stood but didn’t answer and didn’t move away. He looked beyond her to the man who’d stopped on the threshold. After a moment that man walked to the other side of the bed and looked down at his daughter for a time, his expression rigid. Then he looked at Lorenzo for even longer, even more frozen.
‘I know you.’ He didn’t smile.
‘Yes.’ Lorenzo still held her hand. His fingers tightened instinctively. ‘I’m not leaving.’
‘I can see that.’
‘Yeah.’ Lorenzo sat down again.
‘Beth, this is…’ He kept staring at Lorenzo.
‘Lorenzo. Lorenzo Hall.’
‘That’s right.’ He nodded slowly. Lorenzo just knew it had
