‘It’s not that.’ She didn’t want to tell him the real reason right now. It wasn’t the time or the place, and she still didn’t have the right words to explain the situation to him. ‘So do you have an answer for Sara?’
‘Yes. I agree with you, so I’ve marked on her notes that I’m happy for her to have an elective section. I’ll get it booked in with Theatre. Do you want me to come and have a word with her?’
‘No, it’s fine.’ Especially as that coffee was making her feel queasy again and she didn’t want to have to dash off to the toilets again and risk him working out what was really going on. ‘Thanks. I’d better get back to my patient. Catch you later.’
* * *
Ella was acting really oddly, Oliver thought. Rushing out of his office like that. Yet she’d been adamant that she wasn’t going down with the sickness bug that was sweeping through the hospital.
So what was the problem?
Things had been awkward between them ever since the night of the masked ball. The night when he’d taken her virginity. He still felt guilty about it; and as a result he’d probably been even more cool with her than she was being with him.
He really ought to have a chat with her and try to get things back on an even keel between them. Especially as he was the Assistant Head of Obstetrics now. There was absolutely no way they could get involved with each other; although he wasn’t directly her boss, he was her senior. Though it would be nice to salvage some kind of working relationship, so they were at least on semi-friendly terms in the department. He liked Ella. He missed the easiness between them.
As for anything more... Well, he’d told her the truth. He wasn’t a good bet when it came to relationships. Even though Ella was the one woman he thought might actually tempt him to try, it just couldn’t happen. It would all go wrong and wreck their working relationship for good.
He knew she’d be writing up her notes after her appointments, so he quickly typed out a message on the hospital’s internal email system.
We need to have a chat. Come and see me when you’re done today.
Before he hit ‘send’, he added ‘please’, so she’d know he wasn’t being cold and snooty with her. And hopefully they could sort things out.
* * *
We need to have a chat. Come and see me when you’re done today, please.
Oh, help. That sounded very formal and very ominous, Ella thought as she read the email at the end of her shift. Why did Oliver want to see her?
She hadn’t put a foot wrong in her job ever since she’d moved from London to Teddy’s eighteen months ago. But, now Oliver was Assistant Head of Obstetrics, he was bound to have read everyone’s file, to help him get a handle on the team and see where anyone might need more training. If he’d read her file, then he’d know that she’d only just scraped through her exams at university. Was this why he wanted to see her? Did this mean he was going to expect her to prove herself all over again?
Great. Just the thing to start off a Saturday evening. Not.
Dreading what he was going to say, she went to Oliver’s office. ‘You wanted to see me?’
He looked up from his desk. ‘Yes. Close the door, please.’
Now that was really worrying. Was he about to tell her that he was reorganising the team and there wasn’t a space for her? She couldn’t think why else he would reverse his usual open-door policy.
Adrenalin slid down her spine, and she did as he’d asked.
‘We need to talk,’ he said, gesturing to the chair opposite his.
‘Right.’ She sat down.
‘Coffee?’
Even the thought of it made her gag. She tried really hard to stop the reflex, using the trick her dentist had taught her last time she’d had to have an X-ray by making a fist of her left hand, squeezing her thumb with her fingers. Except it didn’t help and she still found herself gagging.
‘Are you all right, Ella?’ Oliver asked.
‘Mmm,’ she fibbed. ‘Maybe some water would help.’
He narrowed his eyes at her. ‘What aren’t you telling me?’
Oh, help. She wasn’t ready for this conversation. At all. And it made it worse that every time she looked at him, she remembered what it felt like to be in his arms. What it felt like to kiss him. What it felt like when his bare skin was sliding against hers...
And this wasn’t the time and the place for remembering that, either. ‘Why did you want to see me?’ she asked instead of answering his question. ‘Am I losing my job?’
‘Losing your job?’ Oliver looked surprised. ‘Of course not. Why would you think that?’
‘Your note was pretty ominous.’
He frowned. ‘It was meant to be polite.’
‘And you just asked me to close the door...’
‘I’m not sacking you, Ella, and this isn’t a disciplinary meeting, if that’s what you’re thinking.’ He raked a hand through his hair. ‘Things are a bit strained between us and I wanted to clear the air, that’s all. Look, let me grab you some water or some coffee, and we can—’ He stopped abruptly. ‘Ella, you’ve gone green. Are you quite sure you’re not going down with the sickness bug?’
‘I’m sure.’
‘Then what’s wrong?’
She couldn’t see her way out of this. She was going to have to tell him at some point, so it might as well be now. And she’d had all afternoon to think about how to tell him and still hadn’t come up with the right words. Maybe short and to the point would be the best option. ‘I’m pregnant,’ she said miserably.
* * *
Pregnant?
Oliver’s head spun and he actually had to shake his head physically to clear it.
Pregnant.
He’d been here before. With Justine. Except the baby hadn’t been his, because Justine had lied to him all along. He knew Ella was nothing like Justine; but the past still haunted him.
The last time those words had been said to him, he’d been just as shocked. The baby hadn’t been planned and he’d still been studying for his specialist exams. He hadn’t been ready for the extra responsibility of parenthood, but of course he’d done the right thing and stood by Justine. It was his duty.
And then, when Justine had finally told him the truth, he’d been let off the hook. Except by then he’d started to think of himself as a dad. Having that taken away from him had hurt even more than Justine’s betrayal. He’d been shocked by how isolated and lost he’d felt—and he’d sworn that never again would he let himself get emotionally involved or in a position where someone could hurt him like
