bore down on her.
He could see her fear, her hesitation, the almost cruel hope that lurked there, so he knew she was feeling much the same as he was.
“Yes.” He nodded. “Whatever she needs to feel safe, for both her and Amanda Jane.” Reed knew it was a weakness, but he’d do anything to get that look off her face. To know that he didn’t cause the fear in her heart.
“Me?” A small face peered around the corner of the door. “Is it my turn to come in, Gina-bee?”
Reed almost choked on the strange knot in his throat. “You brought her?”
“What else was I going to do with her?” Gina said quietly. “I thought you’d be anxious to meet her.”
It was his turn to look away, to be unable to meet Gina’s eyes, or Amanda Jane’s. He’d seen his daughter from a distance at the Bullhorn, but the prospect hadn’t been expressly real.
Nothing had ever made him feel as unworthy as he did in that very moment—and that was really saying something. Reed was reminded every day with a certain clarity that he didn’t deserve all the things he had, and that he didn’t belong.
But there was such a purity in a child’s eyes...specifically her eyes, that he couldn’t stand to be the one to break it.
Gina took pity on him. “No, Amanda Jane. It’s not your turn.”
“But I’ll be good.” Her little voice was full of hope.
“Yes, you’re always very good. So you can stay up very late tonight and then it will be your turn.”
The door clicked shut softly.
“Even if you’re not ready to meet her, she’s ready to meet you. You can meet us at the house tonight. Seven Sisters Road off Highway 5. Only house on the block.”
The part of him that was still a child himself wanted to run. He could just write her a check and he’d never have to face the scorching hope in that child’s face again. That was all she wanted from him, anyway.
For one horrible moment, he wondered what it would be like to have one moment of relief from this pain. Numbing this terror. He knew just what would do that for him, but he pushed it out of his head. He was afraid, but he didn’t want the numbness, not really. He just didn’t want to feel unworthy and he wouldn’t give those feelings validation by making them true, by making himself unworthy.
He wasn’t a boy. He wasn’t a child. He was a man. He’d reached for what he wanted with both hands and he’d gotten it. Now it was his job to protect it.
He nodded. “Thank you, Gina.”
She picked up the pen and with a heavy exhale, she scrawled her name and walked out of the room.
When he picked up the pen, it was still warm from her touch. He signed his name next to hers and with every stroke of ink on the page, he felt more confident about his decision.
Gray, however, wasn’t as sure.
As they walked out he said, “If you were going to let them ream you, why did you bother to call me?”
“I honestly don’t know. But I did the right thing.” He was resolute in that knowledge.
“Did you even read it? Did you know you’re paying for medical school?”
“I don’t care. I have it.” Reed shrugged. At the expression on Gray’s face, he added, “Things were different for us as kids.”
“This is the junkie’s sister? How do you know she’s not using?”
“Gina? Never. Not in a million years.” After setting eyes on her again, he knew that as sure as he knew he was breathing.
“This is going to end badly. I can see the explosions from here. This woman is going to take you for everything you’ve got.” He shook his head. “Do you want me to come with you tonight?” Gray asked, in a low tone, almost like he was telling a secret.
“To meet my daughter?” He shook his head. “No.”
“Why didn’t you meet her inside?”
“It just wasn’t right.” He was too afraid, the idea now a reality that scared the shit out of him. And Amanda Jane deserved better than his fear. She didn’t ask to come into the world. Didn’t ask for him to be her father. Didn’t ask for the hand she’d been dealt.
“I get that, man. I really do.” Gray clapped him on the back. “If you don’t need anything else, brother, I’m going to head back to the city.”
“No, I’m good. Thanks.” He supposed he was good—this was as good as it ever got for Reed Hollingsworth.
“ARE YOU READY to get married yet?” Grams said into the phone when she answered it.
“No.” She didn’t bother to tell her grandmother about the meeting at Emma’s office. She probably already knew.
“That’s not what Marie Hart said. She told me that she saw you and Reed and his lawyer at Emma’s. Were you playing pinochle or planning your wedding?” Her grandmother seemed to think pinochle figured into everything.
She sighed with only the smallest bit of exasperation. “If you already knew, why did you ask?”
“Because you didn’t call me. Why don’t you bring Amanda Jane over and we’ll watch some movies, have popcorn, and maybe I’ll even bake cookies.”
“Reed’s coming over tonight.”
“Oh! Call me later.” Her grandmother hung up before she could say anything else.
She shook her head. Maudine had her cell phone attached to her head just like any teenager. Sometimes Gina felt as if she was the old woman and Maudine the grandchild, but only in the vaguest sense.
Gina suddenly had a craving for that ribbon candy. It reminded her of being a child, when things were good. When they were easy.
It had been strange to be sitting across from Reed in a conference room in Emma Grimes’s office.
Strange wasn’t the right word. Utterly insane might be a better description.
He’d switched faces again so easily it was hard to tell which one was real. The Reed who sat in front of her was the investment genius who got everything he wanted no matter who he had to crush to get it. This suit he wore looked like it cost more than a semester of her tuition. And he wanted her to know it.
She didn’t want to look at him like this, but she knew she should be grateful for the reminder. He could never be just Reed again.
Gina thought he’d been there to crush her, to take everything from her, but instead, he’d only given. He’d agreed to everything she wanted. His shark lawyer could’ve
