have to. He didn’t want her so totally like that—did he? Did he really want to be the one and only, the number one man in her life?
No. Surely not.
But in a scarily short amount of time she’d become important to him. Her happiness had become important to him. And he wanted her to trust him enough to talk. Sure she’d opened up sexually—but it was the only way she’d opened up. And in some ways it was another shield in itself. Just a fling—it was the defence he’d used for years himself, even with Penny to begin with. And hadn’t it turned around to bite him now? He’d never been in a situation so confusing, so complicated. An adulterous older woman and a manipulative girlfriend seeking an engagement ring had nothing on Penny and her inability to share. Hell, she must have such fear.
His anger deepened because he wanted her to be over it and feel free to fall in love again. Preferably with him.
In the evening at his apartment she was the same smiling flirt, teasing him, talking it up—the banter that, while fun, didn’t go deep. He had to bite the inside of his lips, bursting inside to ask her what had happened. Desperate to know where her heart was at now. But he wanted her to offer it, not to have to force it.
She let him lie between her legs, all warm and impishly malleable, smiling at him delightfully. It wasn’t enough.
He kissed her tenderly. As if she were one of the fragile flowers she said she didn’t like.
‘Don’t.’ She frowned and swept her hands across his back. He knew she was trying to hurry him.
‘Don’t what?’
‘Be so nice.’
He carefully studied her. ‘You think you don’t deserve someone being nice to you?’
She just closed her eyes.
And then he didn’t even pretend to let her take the lead. He dominated. Intensely focused on making love to her. It was about more than just giving her pleasure, but about bringing her closer to him any way he could.
Afterwards he lay holding her sealed to him, refusing to let her wriggle even an inch away, telling her more about his work in Melbourne. Stupid stories about his youth. Trying to grow the connection between them. To build trust. Blindly hoping she might talk back.
But all she did was listen.
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