just out of reach of her own … unless she stood on tiptoe, as she’d learned the night of their second date.
“Sophia?”
“What?” Sophia demanded, horrified she’d somehow given her desire away.
“Do you want me to tell your family?” he repeated, a slight frown coming to his handsome face.
Feeling her cheeks burn, she shook her head to clear her heated thoughts. “Of course not,” she scoffed, though she was a bit tempted to dump all the responsibility on Jake. But she wasn’t that big of a coward. “They’re my family. I’ll tell them.”
His golden gaze searched hers, his expression more enigmatic than she’d ever seen in St. Louis. For those few short weeks, he’d struck her as completely sincere, honest and easy to read. It hurt all over again to realize not only his words had been a lie. Everything about the Jake Cameron she’d met, the Jake Cameron she’d liked had been a con.
“Or …” His voice trailed off, dangling the bait of an answer she had yet to consider.
“Or what?”
“Or you could let them believe we’re still seeing each other until you’re ready to tell the truth.”
That had been her plan all along, hadn’t it? Easing into the truth like dipping a toe into the shock of an icy pond instead of diving in headlong. But looking up into the intensity of Jake’s golden gaze, she felt the heat of his stare searching her face before settling on her mouth. A sudden trembling attacked her legs and threatened her ability to stand. Desperate to fight off that weakness before Jake could see how easily he still affected her, Sophia mocked, “You mean pretend to be dating? Well, you’d certainly be good at it.”
His jaw tightened to the point where she expected to hear his molars crack, but when he spoke, his voice was as deep and calm as ever. “You have a choice, Sophia.”
His gaze shifted to a spot over her shoulder, and she glanced back. The lace curtain over the back door window offered a snowy, diffused view of her family outside. Sam and Drew were telling some story that had both her parents laughing. Even Nick looked like he was enjoying himself.
Once again, she would be the one changing that, wiping away their happiness and replacing it with worry and disappointment. Swallowing, she turned away and looked back at Jake. “Why would you do this?”
“Let’s just say I owe you,” he said. “There is a condition, though.”
“Figures,” she muttered. “What’s the condition?”
“I want to know why you’ve let your family believe we’re still seeing each other.”
Tell Jake or tell her entire family? Math had never been her favorite subject, but even she could do those calculations. “You remember meeting my aunt Donna when she came to visit Theresa?” At Jake’s nod, Sophia said, “Well, she definitely remembers meeting you. All she could talk about was what a great guy you are.”
Jake flinched at her words, and for the first time, Sophia wondered if his guilt and regret might be the real thing.
That, or he’s playing you, a cynical voice warned. The same way he played you from the moment you met … or maybe even before that.
It wasn’t like her to view every action with suspicion and doubt, but she’d been burned too many times before. If she let herself believe anything Jake said, she’d only be setting herself up for another heartache.
“Sophia—”
She shook her head, cutting off an apology she couldn’t afford to accept. “My parents have been married for thirty-five years. I know how rare that is in this day and age, but in my family, people still believe that’s the way it’s supposed to be. That marriage is for life and family means everything. How am I supposed to admit that I’m pregnant and that the father of my child will always be this nameless, faceless nonentity in our lives? In my child’s life?”
Sophia didn’t mean for the words to keep spilling out, but once she started, she couldn’t seem to stop. “But you! See, my aunt Donna met you! She thought you were a nice guy. I even had a few pictures from when we went out—to the ballgame, and the zoo.” Sophia shook her head. “You were a single bright spot amid everything that was going wrong in my life and—it was stupid to think that would be enough. But, I don’t know, it just seemed like better than nothing.”
Her hands dropped uselessly to her sides, and she glanced up at Jake, anticipating his reaction. What she saw, though, was the last thing she expected. Tension had taken hold of his body, leaving behind taut lines of muscle and bone. “Jake—”
The back door opened before she could say anything more. Sam bounded inside, nearly running her down. “Sorry, sis,” he said as he caught her by the shoulders and steered her out of the way. Breaking up the tense moment with typical oblivion, he headed for the refrigerator. “Maddie says there’s cake for dessert.”
Her mother followed a moment later. Far more perceptive than Sam—but who wasn’t?—she looked back and forth between Sophia and Jake. “Is everything all right?”
Jake gave an abrupt nod as he escaped from the kitchen. Meeting her mother’s puzzled look, Sophia forced a smile and said, “I’m, um, a little tired from the trip. I’d like to go lie down for awhile.”
“Oh, of course. Are your bags still in the car?”
“In the trunk,” she said.
“Sam, go get your sister’s luggage when you’re done in here.”
Backing out of the refrigerator with the sheet cake, Sam said, “Will do.”
Her mother linked her arm through Sophia’s. “Your room is ready. If you need anything—well,” she said with a smile, “you probably know where it is.”
The house where she’d grown up hadn’t changed that much over the years, and Sophia shouldn’t have been surprised when her mother opened the door to her bedroom. Stuck in a time warp from Sophia’s late teens, the room looked exactly as it had when she left. Same white wrought-iron day bed. Same rainbow of accent colors since she’d never been able to settle on just one or two—the candy-striped pink and white wallpaper, the lilac shag area rug, the powder-blue comforter and vast array of throw pillows. She’d painted the furniture herself, taking the dresser and nightstand from plain white to wild mixes of polka dots, stripes, hearts and flowers.
Seeing it all, Sophia couldn’t speak around the lump in her throat, but there was so much she wanted to say, so many explanations, so many apologies …
But Vanessa said the only words that mattered. “We’ve missed you, sweetheart. I’m so glad you’re home.”
Surrounded by her childhood things and the unconditional love shining in her mother’s eyes, the truth about the baby, about her job, about Jake bubbled up. “Mom—”
“I see you still haven’t learned to pack light,” Sam remarked as he shouldered his way into the room, two suitcases in hand and one tucked beneath his arm like a football.
The opportunity to tell the truth dissipated like smoke, leaving behind only a hint of
