She loved him, damn it. But it was over, so she sent him an old-fashioned look. ‘Well, I could hardly come across that shallow if I wanted the good times to last, could I? I’m sorry if you read it wrong, but the truth is, if it’s marriage you want, you had better look for another woman.’
She pushed herself up on legs that trembled badly and went to where she had left her jacket, holding it over her arm before her like a shield. Her heart ached at the coldness that had settled over his face. ‘I think it would be best if I left now.’ She hesitated, wanting to plead with him not to hate her, but it was that hatred that would help him get over her, so in the end all she said was a husky, ‘Bye, darling. Maybe I’ll see you around some day,’ and let herself out of the flat.
There were simply not enough words in any language to describe how she felt then. What meagre defences she had been able to erect crumbled to nothing. Pain surged in like a tidal wave, and for long minutes she was unable to move. Only the fear that Ransom might find her there gave her the strength to stumble downstairs and out to her car. She fought tears all the way home, and it was nothing less than a miracle that she didn’t have an accident. Once indoors she succumbed to her overwhelming misery and cried long into the night.
Somewhere around dawn she finally fell into an uneasy sleep.
A state she was dragged from by the sound of someone pressing their finger on the bell of her bedsit and keeping it there. In no mood for inconsiderate delivery men, she stomped to the door to deliver a heartfelt warning, and was dumbfounded to find Ransom on her doorstep. Having told herself she would not see him again after last night, she was too surprised to prevent him brushing past her and striding into her tiny living room.
One glance at his rigid back warned her he was here to demand further explanation. She hadn’t allowed for that, and the bottom fell out of her stomach. Following him into the room, she finger-combed her hair and braced herself for what was to come. He turned to meet her, and looking at his face nearly undid her. He looked grey and haggard, the patent result of a sleepless night. She wanted to reach out to comfort him, but that would only defeat her object. All she could do was keep to her plan, so she folded her arms and sighed testily.
‘Honestly, Ransom, couldn’t this have waited?’ To her own ears she sounded bored, and she was amazed at her acting ability.
‘No,’ he growled fiercely. ‘I want an explanation for what happened last night!’
Of course he did, but she was prevented from giving him the true one. She had to bluff it out as best she could. ‘You asked me to marry you, I said no.’
An answer that had his teeth grinding angrily. ‘There’s more to it than that. I’m not such a bad judge of people. I know we want the same things. To be a family, have children, grow old together,’ he charged.
Sam could feel the powerful emotions seething inside him, and wondered if she would ever be able to forgive herself for what she was putting him through. She only knew she couldn’t think of another way of doing this.
‘Oh, come on, Ransom, you don’t believe everything you hear, do you? OK, I might have said it, but not seriously. A person says a lot of things when they want to keep a man happy. I was onto a good thing, so what if I told you a few white lies? The truth is I don’t want a husband or family. You’ve picked the wrong woman for that,’ she told him, pretending to stifle a yawn. Then, as a master stroke, she closed the gap between them and started playing with the button of his leather jacket. ‘However, I’d be happy for things to stay as they are, if you want.’
He brushed her hand away with a look of utter disgust. ‘No, thanks, not even as a gift. You played me for a fool, Sam, but not any more. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I want nothing more to do with you.’
Fighting back tears, she managed to produce a fatalistic sigh. ‘You win some, you lose some. Take care of yourself, Ransom. It’s a jungle out there.’
He stared at her for a moment or two longer, a nerve ticking away in his jaw, then he pointed a warning finger at her. ‘You’d better not try this on anyone else, darling. They might not be as forbearing as I am. I only want to kill you, they might try to do it.’
With that he slammed out of her bedsit and her life. She was left staring at the door, tears finally streaming down her cheeks.
‘I love you,’ she whispered achingly as her heart shattered into a thousand irretrievable pieces. Her only solace was in knowing she had done the right thing. He might hate her now, but he would get over it. As for herself, she knew she never would.
In the next few days Sam cried over Ransom until at last she was all cried out, and then she papered over the cracks and faced up to the future without him. Her family closed ranks behind her. Those who didn’t know the truth, and were surprised by her decision to marry Leno Grimaldi, followed their parents’ line and said nothing.
When she dined with Leno that Saturday evening, she discovered that he had plans for a big wedding. She would have preferred something less elaborate, but fell in with his wishes because he genuinely thought he was giving her something she would enjoy. She did try to protest when he took her to an expensive jeweller’s and picked out an engagement ring for her. The large diamond was far too ostentatious, but Leno declared he wanted nothing but the best for her, so she gave in. When it came to the matching wedding bands, she simply went along without fuss, not having the heart to argue any more.
The surprise engagement party, celebrated at a top London hotel, was an evening she battled through with a plastic smile tacked to her lips. She hadn’t realised just how important a man Leno was until that night, when the press were there to take countless photos of the soon to be happy couple for the avid readers of their magazines and society pages.
Whatever Leno wanted happened like magic. As soon as a wedding date was set, he arranged for a top designer to make her dress. Sam stumbled through the arrangements, trying to fit shopping trips around her job, but finally she had to give that up. Gifts rained in from right and left, until she wanted to scream that it wasn’t real. Yet it was very real, and Sam made a conscious decision not to think ahead to after the wedding, when she and Leno would finally be alone together as husband and wife.
A week away from the wedding, Sam escaped from the final fitting of her wedding dress and knew she just had to get a few moments of peace or she would go crazy. She and Ransom had loved walking in Kensington Gardens, and suddenly she just had to go there. To be somewhere where she had been happy. Seconds later she was hailing a passing taxi.
As soon as she started walking along the pathways Sam felt as if she could breathe again. Peace settled around her, and after a while she spied an empty seat and sat down. Everything was so normal here, she thought. Unlike her life, which was like a runaway train. Closing her eyes, she allowed the peace and tranquillity to soothe her battered soul.
She was unaware that someone had sat down at the other end of the seat until they spoke.
‘So, it wasn’t actually marriage you were against, it was the lack of wealth of the man doing the asking,’ Ransom declared cuttingly, and Sam’s heart lurched as her eyes shot open and she stared at him in shock.
‘Where did you come from?’ she gasped out, wondering if she had somehow magicked him up.
His smile was chilly. ‘I was passing by when I saw you get out of the taxi, so I followed you. I wanted to congratulate you on your forthcoming marriage.’
Somehow she had believed that he would never know about it. She should have known better. ‘How
