She could consider her own predicament later. It was much less important than a man’s life. James intended to use the law to kill Ross Graham. And he was ready to perjure his soul to do it. She must do something. She must! But what?
Cassandra resumed her pacing. The tray of food remained untouched on the table. If she swallowed a bite, it would choke her.
It was still dark. But it must be morning by now, surely? Ross knew he had not been asleep for more than a few hours, at most. Even with his coat wrapped around him, the cold had penetrated his bones. He had woken, shivering. So now he paced the floor of his tiny cell, trying to get some warmth back into his limbs. Three paces, turn about, three paces, turn about, three paces…
He had too much time to think here. That was the real problem of his confinement. He could do nothing more now until the gaoler reappeared. Nothing except pace. And remember. He tried to focus instead on Elliott and that girl. By Jove, she was a handful!
Ross tried to picture what she looked like, but failed. He could see only a mass of dark hair, tangled and dripping, and a white gown that clung to her limbs. He recalled his shock at discovering that her feet and legs were bare. But he could not recall her features. Had he actually seen her face in the darkness? He had had a vague impression of huge dark eyes in a pale face. Nothing more. He was not at all sure he would recognise her if he saw her again.
Still pacing, he grinned into the darkness. See her? How could he? He could not even see his own hand in front of his face!
His decision was already made. When the gaoler returned, he would offer him a bribe in return for pen and ink, and the promise to take a letter to the provost. Ross fingered the hidden pocket and the riches concealed there. It had served him well in France and Spain, and had saved his beloved Julie from many a hardship.
Julie…The memories came flooding in, like the rush of water when the sluice is released. He remembered every detail of her beautiful face, her peach-bloom complexion, her golden hair. The sinuous curves that moved beneath the plain cheap gown she wore, causing his breath to catch in his throat and his body to heat. Her low husky voice, her brilliant smile, the way she worried at her full lower lip when her thoughts were far away—
Enough! He knew now what she had been daydreaming about. Certainly not about Ross Graham, much though she had tried to cozen him into believing that her regard for him might soon turn into love. She had played him for a fool.
A part of him—the gallant, honourable part—attempted to defend her still. Perhaps he had misunderstood her behaviour? Was it not possible that she had intended to show him only gratitude, and friendship? That he had simply seen what he longed to see?
He paused to think back over the months of their escape together, the hundreds of miles they had tramped from Julie’s humble cottage along the French Mediterranean coast and across the north of Spain to find a ship to England. She had been so brave and determined throughout their ordeal, in spite of all the dangers, even when they had so nearly been captured by Bonaparte’s soldiers. Was that what had blinded him to her wiles? For they were just that—wiles. She was a lady, of course, but that had not stopped her from flirting with Ross: those frequent little touches of her fingers, how she insisted he take her hand to help her over uneven ground, the way she looked up at him with those wide trusting eyes, running her tongue over her lips as if inviting him to kiss her. Damn it, she had known he could not. Not while he alone was responsible for bringing her out from under the nose of the enemy and delivering her safely to her relatives in London. She knew he was a man of honour. That was surely why she had agreed to escape with him? Was it necessary to make him love her, too?
He shuddered. Whatever her motives, she had succeeded. Twice—at Perpignan and at Santander—he had tried to declare himself. Twice she had silenced him with a soft finger across his lips. ‘Say nothing now, my dear friend,’ she had said, that last time. ‘We shall be in London soon, and free. There we may both say everything that is in our hearts.’ And then she had smiled her blinding white smile and moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue. Almost as if she were tasting him.
Ross’s body began to harden at the very thought. He cursed aloud at his own weakness. For a woman he had never even kissed!
Fool that he was, he had believed that Julie, the granddaughter of a marquis, would stoop to consider a man with little wealth and no family. He had persuaded himself that once she was free, and safe in London, she would admit that Ross had captured her heart.
It had not happened. They had arrived in London on that strangest of days, when the whole city was rejoicing at the news of the victory at Waterloo. Julie had almost been run down by one of the mail coaches, all hung with oak leaves, racing out of the city to carry the tidings to the furthest corners of the land. Ross had pulled her into his arms to save her, feeling the rapid beating of her heart against his chest, filling his lungs with the scent of her skin and her hair, holding her close as he had been longing to do… For seconds only. And then it was over. She had drawn away from him. With the utmost propriety, they had made their way to Berkeley Square to be welcomed into her noble English family.
There, for one more second—just one—he had smiled, knowing that on the morrow he would finally tell her everything that was in his heart.
And then he had seen it. Julie’s eyes were fixed on that other man. Her face was lighting up with love. As hers blazed brighter, Ross’s hidden flame of love and hope had flickered and sunk to a dull ember. And then to cold and twisted dross.
She had never loved him. Never. She could have been in no doubt that Ross was losing his heart to her. Did she care? Certainly not enough to tell him the truth, that her heart was already given. She had prevented him from declaring himself, no doubt to save her own blushes, not his heartbreak. For, if he had once spoken, she would have had to refuse him. And to tell him why. Oh, it was so much easier to play him like a fish on a hook, a little slack here, a little tug there. Keep the stupid fish thinking that it is not being duped, that it has free choice. Never let it see that it is about to be served up on a plate.
Incensed at himself, and at Julie, Ross slammed his clenched fist into the wall. For a moment, the pain stopped him from thinking. Then bleak sanity returned.
Was I bewitched? he wondered. One beautiful woman, helpless, dependent on me for her safety, relying on my honour to preserve her virtue? Is that all it takes? Aye. One beautiful woman gazing up into my eyes and my wits go a-begging. After all those years in the wars, I should have learnt to deal better with women. God knows there were enough of them asking for our help, for our ‘protection’. And beautiful women, too. But not one of them wormed her way into my heart.
Until Julie. Beautiful, desirable, bewitching Julie. With a heart encased in cold stone.
Ross felt as if a powerful fist had grasped his own heart and was squeezing fit to crush the life out of him. The pain was immense. Unbearable.
‘No!’ he cried the single word aloud. No! I will not let one scheming woman ruin my life. I will forget her, as she deserves. She is not worth one instant’s suffering. And I will never again allow a beautiful woman to bewitch me as Julie did. If ever I take a wife, let her be dark and ugly and…and mute. I will not be beguiled again, not by beauty, or honeyed words, or gentle touches on my skin. If ever I find another woman in distress, pleading for my help, I shall turn my back on her, and laugh as I ride away.
A sudden spasm of pain in his injured hand caused him to gasp aloud. And then he began to laugh, a great gale of cleansing laughter welling up from deep inside his soul, sweeping away the bitterness and the anger. When at last it subsided, he felt totally drained. But now, finally, he was free.
He had loved
