Nate was beginning to feel a little uneasy. He was accustomed to a laughing, kidding Josey, and this new intense, rather spiritual talk was unnerving. “A calling? Out of nowhere? Just like that?”
“Yeah, I don’t know. It was the strangest thing. One minute I was in the classroom just going about my business and the next minute—” She broke off again to take a ladylike sip of her diet cola. “I guess it’s just that I want to teach my own child. Everything, not just math and reading. I can’t really put into words how I feel. Just trust me that this is very real.”
Nate didn’t really know the correct response to all this, but Josey appeared to be waiting for some kind of reaction. All he could think of to say was, “Are you going to a sperm bank?”
“Am I going…?” Josey finally focused on his face. She wrinkled her forehead, almost as if she didn’t understand the question. “No, I’m not going to a sperm bank. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but that’s not what I want.” She leaned forward, and her long gold medallion dangled dangerously close to her soda glass. “You haven’t heard a word I said.”
“I heard every word you said,” Nate countered, reaching over and pushing her glass a safe distance away. “I just don’t get what you’re saying. Call me stupid, but…”
“I want the whole thing, Nate. I want a family. I want kids—and a husband. The whole package. A family.”
He leaned in also, so that they were nearly nose to nose. When he spoke again, it was with a lowered voice so the neighboring diners, at tables crowded close together on the patio, couldn’t hear. “Since when, Josey? You love being single. How many times have we gone out to dinner and you waxed philosophical about how impossible it must be to find the right man and so you weren’t going to bend over backward to do it? I’ll tell you. A hundred times. At least.”
“So what?” Her voice turned stubborn, almost rebellious. “So what, Nate? I can’t change my mind?”
“You can change your mind, sure you can, but this is a complete about-face. It’s weird.”
“Oh, I’m so glad you think my dreams are weird.”
Just as Nate opened his mouth the waitress arrived with their dinners on a tray. When she placed the huge colorful salad down, Josey grabbed her fork and dug in. This great revelation of hers certainly didn’t affect her appetite any, Nate was relieved to see. The real Josey is still in there somewhere.
But just as that thought crossed his mind, he felt a prickling in his chest. He wasn’t being fair. He wasn’t a woman. And he wasn’t Josey. Even if he couldn’t understand ever wanting to have children, it wasn’t right to belittle what she wanted. Maybe this new desire of hers was just as confusing to her as it was to him. It seemed to come from nowhere, and she definitely was taking it seriously. He was her friend—her best friend. He owed it to her to be supportive.
He took a bite of steak, chewed it slowly and swallowed, all the while looking at her. She appeared to be concentrating hard on the task of spearing a tomato.
“Josey.”
She glanced up at him, her face a picture of embarrassment, and Nate was ashamed for possibly having been the one to cause it. He never wanted her to think she couldn’t tell him things, personal things.
“I’m sorry. Listen,” he said, grabbing her hand so she couldn’t ignore him by taking another forkful of lettuce. “It’s just surprising, that’s all. Kids, husband… I think…I think it’s wonderful. I really do. I wish you luck.”
“You do?” she asked, her voice catching before she asked again. “You really do?”
Nate wondered why she was getting so emotional. Although he would prefer her not to be angry with him, she certainly didn’t need his approval. But he granted it anyway. “You know I do. You’re my friend, and I’ll do anything I can to make sure you’re happy.”
Josey dropped her fork onto the glass table and turned her hand over to clasp his. A huge grin spread across her face, bright under the darkening sky. “I’m so glad you said that! You have no idea.”
“I meant it.”
She smiled even wider. “Good, good,” she said, bouncing a little in her seat. Nate grinned, too, at Josey’s old, enthusiastic, bubbly self.
“Okay, Nate,” she stated, letting go of his hand and settling back in her seat. “Now I can get to what I really wanted to ask you tonight. I need your help.”
“Sure, with what?”
“With my plan, of course. You are the perfect one to help me get this plan off the ground. I need you.”
Nate had been nodding, but he suddenly stopped.
I need you….
She couldn’t be saying…no. No.
She needed him? For—for starting a family, she needed his help? That meant— No, it couldn’t be.
Panic was starting to swell in his chest.
And here was Josey, staring at him with a dangerous gleam in her eye.
Okay, he admitted silently, in all the time he and Josey had been friends, there were possibly two times he had looked at Josey’s beautiful face and let his gaze roam over her sexy body and thought about what she’d be like, look like, feel like in bed. He furrowed his brow. Maybe it was more like three times. And now, right this minute, she was probably thinking that very same thing about him. Thinking about making love. Having his baby.
Nate glanced around the patio, but the other diners continued with their own meals and their own conversations, unaware that his best friend in the world was going to ask him to do the very thing he had sworn never to do as long as he lived. Become a father.
And she wanted a husband. Did that mean she was going to ask him to—?
Nate had to end this discussion right now. He couldn’t let her get around to asking the question that was obviously in her mind. Because he didn’t want to be forced to turn her down, and break her heart. “Josey,” he began, “I don’t think, um…”
“I know this is sudden,” Josey said earnestly, picking a garlic crouton out of the salad with two fingers and crunching down on it. “But I can’t do this alone. I need a neutral party to screen my dates.”
Nate stared at her. “Screen?”
“Yes. I want to find the right man and start a family, but what if I pick the wrong man just because I’m in a rush? I don’t think I’m that kind of person, but I still want someone sort of monitoring the situation so I don’t get carried away.”
“Monitor?” Nate’s relief washed over him, replacing a quick twinge of disappointment. It wasn’t him. It wasn’t him, after all. He was still her buddy, her pal. “Why me?”
“You’re perfect, Nate. You’re sweet and responsible and dependable. Plus, you’re a good judge of character. You’re friends with me, after all.” She grinned. “You’ve got all the qualifications to help me find Dream Man. So I can have Dream Family. Will you
