Should she tell him he hadn’t either? They both knew it wasn’t true. He’d made mistakes, and sometimes carelessness was criminal. Pretending otherwise would be a lie. Their young marriage wasn’t cut out for the strain of dishonesty on top of everything else.
“I’ve missed you,” she told him.
“Same goes.” He was quiet for a moment. “I’ve been looking forward to this visit, but there’s something I need to discuss with you.” Despite the resigned declaration, he hesitated.
“Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it.” She hadn’t run screaming for the hills thus far.
“The kids will be getting back next Monday.”
She nodded. Eight days. She reminded herself that she could absolutely do this. Now was not the time to dwell on the fact that the only living things that had ever been in her care were some exotic fish that had added color to her condo. Until she’d accidentally knocked the heater into the aquarium and electrocuted them all in mere seconds.
“I don’t want them to come here, Kate. I know they’re on the approved list, but I just can’t imagine them in these surroundings.” He ran his hands over his face. “Haven’t they been through enough in their young lives without seeing their old man…?”
Startled by the raw vulnerability in his tone, she rushed to reassure him. “That’s completely understandable. It’s not as if they haven’t gone months without seeing you before. That’s practically the norm.”
His jaw tightened. “What do you mean by that?”
Exactly what she’d said. “I’m just agreeing with you, Paul. They don’t see us much during school semesters. Maybe writing you letters from home would be less traumatic than visiting you here. Maybe it is best for the three of you to get reacquainted…afterward.”
“Right. Sorry.” He sighed. “Guess I’m a little defensive when it comes to my parenting choices.”
She knew Lily had read him the riot act when he’d first sent the kids away, four months after Heather’s death. His contention was that he traveled a lot and the school would give them a first-rate education in a place not rife with reminders of their mom. He’d hoped they could heal there, make new friends. Lily had been furious, first losing her sister, then “losing” her niece and nephew. He’d even let it slip that his sister-in-law had once obliquely threatened in the heat of the moment to pursue custody if he couldn’t take care of his own kids, though she’d quickly and apologetically taken back the rash comment. Kate certainly couldn’t envision Lily and her husband housing two more children when they had four of their own.
After that, the arguing had ceased. But some of the resulting strain had endured.
Now the question of where the kids were educated was moot; Neve and PJ would be returning to Richmond, just as Lily wanted. Withdrawing them from the coming academic year at their private school had devastated Paul. He’d been remorseful enough over the business colleagues he’d hurt or could have hurt with neglectful stewardship of the company, but to once again upset the stability of his children’s lives…
Looking at the haunted eyes of the man she loved, Kate vowed to be the best stepmother possible. Realistically it was the only thing she could truly do to help Paul. For the next four to five months she was all the parent those children had.
Thank God kids were more resilient than tropical fish.
CHAPTER 2
Normally Lily Foster spent Saturday evenings folding the week’s laundry while watching rented movies with her younger kids and waiting for her older ones to meet curfew. Tonight she was pacing the kitchen that was so much larger, so much tidier, than her own. She hoped Kate didn’t mind her using her spare key, but under the circumstances, it had seemed the best idea.
Lily just wished she knew when the other woman would be home from her trip to the prison, but all she’d received when she’d tried Kate’s cell phone was an automated voice-mail response. Deciding not to explain the latest turn of events in a message, Lily had come to Paul’s house to wait. The kids needed to spend the night in their own beds, not Lily’s living room. Now that she was here, though, she felt uncertain and invasive.
If her big sister had lived, this place would have been Lily’s second home by now. It sucked that Heather hadn’t had more time to enjoy the house they’d bought after Paul’s last raise before leaving his former employer to hire on as CEO elsewhere. Heather should have had years, decades, to make this place her own, warm and inviting, to create memories. After the move, she’d complained about being tired, but it hadn’t slowed down her supermom schedule. When they’d all started to realize she was sick, they’d still been optimistic, not expecting anything as terrifyingly final as a late-stage cancer diagnosis.
The kettle on the stove began working its way toward a full-bodied burble, bags of Earl Grey ready and waiting next to an empty china cup. Lily’s mother-in-law was known to say that tea always helped in a crisis. Although Lily suspected tea leaves weren’t even going to make a dent in her worries about her family tonight, at least puttering around the kitchen gave her a small outlet for nervous energy.
Sometimes she expected the stress to come erupting out of her like steam from a teapot. As of today, her father was back in the hospital because of ongoing heart problems. Lily’s mother was a wreck, having never recovered truly from burying her child a few years ago. Please, God, let Dad bounce back from this. For all our sakes. Paul’s father had passed away before Neve was even born, but in the past five years the kids had lost both their paternal grandmother and their mother. Now, in a way, the children had lost Paul, too.
But gained a stepmother.
Neve still wouldn’t discuss that with her aunt, how she felt about Paul’s second marriage. Lily wished she and the children were closer, but it hadn’t been easy when she had four of her own to look after and Paul had sent Neve and PJ several states away. His own flesh and blood! When they were traumatized and no doubt needed him the most.
She shook her head, knowing that getting angry over what was past wouldn’t help anyone. But the frustration was there, bubbling beneath the surface. After all, she had promised Heather she’d look after the kids, take care of them like they were her own.
Paul loves his family, Heather had said, looking both frail and wise in her hospital bed, but he was so busy providing for us, working up to his success. He doesn’t know which stuffed animal is PJ’s favorite or how Neve loves brownies with macadamia nuts but not walnuts or peanuts. You’re a mom, you understand about the important day-to-day details he’s missed. He’ll need your help, Lil. Promise me you’ll be there for them.
When she’d made the vow, Lily hadn’t known her brother-in-law was going to bury his grief in work and ship his kids to the prestigious Newsome Academy, one of the best private schools in the country. Lily had taken the news that Paul was seeing someone again with mixed feelings. Obviously, as his first wife’s sister, it was difficult for her to see him with someone who wasn’t Heather. Then again, she’d known Heather wouldn’t have wanted him to live out his years miserable and lonely. So Lily had wished him well and silently hoped that the new woman in his life would help him bridge the ever-growing gap between him and his children. Or at least make him admit that there was one, that parenting wasn’t something that could be conveniently scheduled for holidays, summer and Spring Break.
Instead he’d picked Kate. Physically
