Susannah,
I thought perhaps you’d have few provisions laid in and thought I would send a few things from the Hall. Perhaps this will help make your first few days in Tansley more enjoyable.
Please do not hesitate to call upon me if you are in need of anything.
I am, as ever,
Your humble servant Daniel
“Whatever are you reading, Sue?” Nan demanded, a loaf of crusty bread in each hand. “Come, sit down. We shall have a feast worthy of all our hard work.”
“She’s reading a love letter from her fiancé, no doubt,” Becky answered, giving Nan a wink. “After all, we owe this largesse to him.”
“Hush. Both of you.” Susannah cast the foolscap into the fire and folded her arms across her chest. “My engagement to Daniel helped us out of a dreadful situation. ’Tis no cause for levity.”
Becky bit her lip and cast her eyes down at her plate. “I’m sorry.”
Susannah sighed, looking at them both. They had worked hard all day—and they had earned a decent meal. In fact, until Daniel’s servant showed up at the door, she’d had no idea what they were going to eat for dinner. So...she would merely have to swallow her pride on this one. Let the girls enjoy a real feast. It was terribly kind of Daniel to think of them, after all.
“Enjoy your feast,” she said quietly. “You’ve earned every mouthful.”
“You, too, Sue.” Nan patted the chair beside her. “You’ll feel much better after you’ve had a bite to eat.” She bowed her head and led them in prayer.
And the remarkable thing was—she did. ’Twas amazing how a dinner of chicken, bread and cheese could take the edge off the harshness of life. And there were apples, too. She crunched into the bright red fruit happily, relishing its sweet juice. Even the thinness seemed to go out of her sisters’ cheeks and they looked positively rosy.
As darkness fell over the cottage, illuminated only by a few candles and the firelight, even its rough edges appeared more attractive. Susannah sat back in her chair, meditatively twirling the apple core on her plate. They might—just might—do quite well in Tansley. The baker had thought so, and she was a woman who had her own shop. She had started young, too. So perhaps this was no chance meeting this morning. Perhaps it was a good omen. A sign of His blessing, even.
She glanced across the table at her sisters. Nan had pushed her plate aside and laid her head down on the burnished wood. The slow rise and fall of her shoulders indicated that she was sleeping deeply. Susannah shook her head and a smile lifted the corners of her mouth. She’d have to move Nan soon, or her sister would awaken with a terribly stiff neck.
“Susy?” Becky murmured softly. “What made you decide to marry Daniel Hale?”
Susannah stopped toying with her apple core. “You know why. Uncle was going to make me marry that lout Sheppard. And so I asked Daniel for his help.”
“Yes, but why Daniel? There were other boys living near us. Why did you go to him above anyone else? Why did you seek him out instead of running away?” Becky tilted her head and gazed at Susannah intently.
“Well, if I had run away, I would have had to leave you two behind. So that would have been a foolish idea.” She sighed. Why had she asked Daniel? It had seemed like the natural decision back then. She hadn’t even questioned it. “Well, he was there. He had come to Bath to visit some of his family, and we could meet each other that way. It all just fell into place, you see. And I suppose I asked Daniel because he always knew how to get out of tricky situations. That was his charm. I knew I could depend on him to help me out of that mess.”
Becky leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table. “That’s nice. So why don’t you think you can depend on him now?”
Susannah flicked a glance at Nan as she lay cradling her head on the table. “Shush. You’ll wake your sister.” In truth, she didn’t want to think about the matter, much less hash it over with Becky. She couldn’t focus on the past. She had to plan for the future.
“She’s sleeping. She’ll sleep for hours like that if we let her.” Becky wound her shawl more tightly around her shoulders. “Doesn’t it seem...odd...to you that we should come home to Tansley only to find your fiancé here? Almost like fate or destiny.” Her tone grew shivery and romantic.
Susannah resisted the urge to roll her eyes and crush her sister’s romantic visions. Becky had always been the dreamer of the three, the most inclined to moon over Byron. Susannah, with her iron fist of practicality, had learned the difficult way to rein herself in around Becky over the years and not ride roughshod over Becky’s girlish ideals.
“It’s not fate or destiny. Both of our families are from the village. It’s just...common ground.” She rubbed her eyes with a weary hand. What an exhausting day it had been. “I think I’ll rouse Nan enough to help her upstairs.”
“Wait. You never answered my question.” Becky was nothing if not persistent. “Why can’t you depend on him now? Can’t you become Daniel’s wife in truth?”
“Don’t be absurd. He never thought about me in all those years. Why do you persist in making our engagement something it wasn’t?” She rose stiffly, shaking out her skirts. “He helped a long time ago because I asked for his assistance. What kind of woman would I be if, years later, I showed up on his doorstep begging for help again? I must earn my own way in this world. True independence is my only hope for freedom.”
“Hmm.” Becky smothered a yawn with her palm. “All this talk of being alone...I don’t know. He’s awfully handsome, Susy. So tall. So formidable and yet approachable. And he’s your—”
“No, he’s not.” Time to put an end to this. She had no desire to investigate her past any further. She’d already spent far too much of her day on Daniel Hale. Time that should have been spent devoted to her shop. Susannah shook Nan gently and helped her to her feet. “Take Nan upstairs and you two go on to bed. I’ll tidy up down here, and then I will be along.” She needed a few moments to compose herself.
She tucked away the leftover food in the tiny larder adjacent to the kitchen. They’d have enough to eat for a few days at least. She would never accept charity again, but in this case—well, it was certainly going to go to good use.
A sudden chill ran through her body, and she clasped her arms across her chest. She strode over to the hearth to warm herself. She could never prevail upon him for help again. Her words to Becky rang true. She couldn’t very well presume upon a relationship that obviously meant nothing to him. After all, he had never written her. Not once in all his travels around the world.
And there it was. That was the truth. She couldn’t trust him because a tiny, bitter part of her resented the fact that he’d never once checked in on her during those long years. After her first few letters went unanswered, she knew the harsh truth. Daniel was away on the high seas and had simply forgotten her. That was his way. He was as mercurial as quicksilver and would never conform to any sort of stability. Over time, the raw, impotent rage she felt at being left behind had callused over. She would never count on him again, not for anything important.
But...perhaps she could count Daniel merely as a friend. She would never venture to be more than that, and it would behoove her to keep him at arm’s length. But
