first place.
As he scrolled through the call log, he expected to find mostly garbage, so it was a complete shock to see Lilly’s name by one of the numbers. She’d only given him the cell number in case he needed to call and postpone or cancel their date. And he didn’t have a clue as to how she’d gotten his number.
Lilly? He hurriedly scanned the call for a date. She’d called him two evenings ago! And he’d not even known it!
Crossing over to the bed, he sank onto the edge of the mattress and stared thoughtfully at the phone. His first instinct was to call her number now, this very instant. But did he really want to do that?
Ever since he’d driven away from her house a few nights ago, he’d been trying to convince himself that she wasn’t the type of woman he needed to go after. If she cooked breakfast for a man, she’d want to be wearing a wedding band while she flipped his pancakes. And he didn’t want a wife. A wife would bind him in ties that would choke him. A wife meant loving and protecting. And all the while worrying that he might lose her in some awful, unpredictable way.
Rafe had only been five years old when his little sister Darci died from an untreatable heart disease. Born three years after him, she’d been a fragile little thing with a mop of russet-colored curls and big green eyes. Even to this day, Rafe could remember her giggles and how she would hold tightly on to his hand, and cry if she didn’t get chocolate milk for breakfast.
He’d adored Darci and losing her had both confused and scared him. For months after her death, Rafe had been terrified that his brothers might leave him in the same way and he’d wanted to cling to his mother for a sense of security. He’d been too young to understand that she’d also been dealing with her own sorrow.
Thankfully, the passing years had dimmed his grief and as he’d grown into a man, he’d lost the incessant fear of losing another family member. Tragedy had struck the Calhoun family once; he couldn’t imagine it striking a second time. Then an accident had taken his mother and suddenly the direction of everything he’d ever wanted in life took a drastic change.
Rafe had watched the light of happiness disappear from his father’s eyes and the only home Rafe had ever known had taken on a chill that, to this day, was still present.
From that point on, Rafe had decided he’d never have a family of his own and that decision hadn’t changed. No. Rafe didn’t want that for himself. There were plenty of men out there who’d make a fine husband for Lilly, who’d be willing to take on the risks and responsibilities of having a family. But damn it, the thought of her with another man made make him sick.
Shutting his mind from those thoughts, Rafe took a closer glance at the phone and spotted a voice mail notification. Could it be from Lilly? He punched the symbol, then lifted the phone to his ear.
“Hi, Rafe. It’s Lilly. I hope you don’t mind that I got your number from Bart. I was just calling to say—well, I want to apologize for my behavior the other night. That wasn’t really me. And I was rough on you for all the wrong reasons. I did have a nice time. And the kiss was—nice, too.”
The message ended without a “goodbye” or “call me,” but it was enough to make Rafe jump straight to his feet and start jamming the tails of his shirt into his jeans.
Cold one minute and hot the next. Rafe didn’t know which one was the real Lilly Lockett. But he was damned sure going to find out.
* * *
Shortly after eight o’clock that night, Lilly and Marcella ended their shift and were leaving the building together. On the way to the parking lot, Marcella was still voicing her concerns over a small boy they had treated for an asthma attack.
“Lilly, I’m telling you I think social services needs to visit that boy’s home. Something just doesn’t feel right about the whole situation. He looks half-starved. And this is the second time he’s been treated in the past two weeks. I don’t think his parents are even bothering to feed him, much less see that he takes his medication.”
“Someone bothered enough to bring him to the hospital,” Lilly pointed out.
“A grandfather—I think. And he looked too feeble to care for himself. I’m surprised he managed to drive the child here to emergency. Oh, God, Lilly, he’s my Harry’s age. And I just want to take him in my arms and carry him home with me.”
Lilly patted her friend’s shoulder. “Marcella, don’t worry. We’ll go to Doctor Malloy and explain our fears about the child to him. He’ll contact the right people.”
Her friend nodded somberly. “You’re right. If we don’t go through the proper channels, getting the boy some real help might backfire. I’m going home and try not to think about it tonight.”
Lilly gave her a weary smile. “Good. Give Harry a kiss and be thankful you have him.”
“I will. Good night,” Marcella told her, then broke away to go to her car that was parked at the other end of the parking area.
After waving her friend off, Lilly fished the car keys from the tote bag she was carrying and pushed the button to unlock the doors. She was about to climb beneath the steering wheel when a male voice sounded directly behind her, causing her to jump with fright.
With a hand clutched to her chest, she whirled around to see Rafe standing a few steps away. He was dressed all in denim and a black hat shaded his face from what little light there was from the streetlamps, but she could see enough of his features to tell there was a faint grin on his face.
“Rafe! What are you doing here?”
He moved closer. “Waiting on you to get off work. I asked at the nurses’ desk to speak with you, but a nurse there told me you were busy changing shifts and that you’d be out shortly.”
She let out a long, pent-up breath. “I—well, you certainly surprised me. Is anything wrong with Bart? He seemed fine this morning.”
Shaking his head, he took another step toward her. “Gramps is fine. I just found your voice mail earlier this evening. My men and I have been working out on the far west range for the past two days. My phone lost its charge.”
“Oh. I had decided you didn’t want to talk to me.”
He continued to study her closely. “The other night before I left your house, you implied that I was wasting my time with you. Am I?”
Reaching up, she pulled a pin from her coiled hair and shook it free. “I honestly don’t know, Rafe. The other night—I was—well, I rarely date. You see, I made a mistake in trusting a man once and since then I’m afraid I see most of you as predators. That’s wrong of me, I know. But I can’t get past it.”
He was close enough now for her to see his features soften and a look of understanding flicker in his eyes.
“Lilly.”
As he spoke her name his hands reached out to cradle her face, and his touch was like a ray of sunlight bathing every cell in her body with delicious heat.
“I’m not going to pretend that I’m the perfect guy for you. Or that I’m even a good guy. I only know that when I’m with you everything feels different. I feel different. Something about being with you brings out the better side of me. I don’t want that to end, Lilly.”
