that?”
She reached into the pocket of her winter coat and pulled out the envelope that she’d hidden in her drawer for a week. “I want to give you this.” She handed it to him.
Austin took the envelope. “What is it?”
“Open it and see.”
Carefully, he pulled out a folded piece of red construction paper. It opened into a heart. On it, Katia had glued bits of white lace she’d found in the attic, and she’d written snippets of Russian poems. She’d folded over pale blue pieces of construction paper and glued them to the heart, as well. Each of the folded notes contained dates.
“What is this? July 17? And September 26? I don’t understand.”
“Those are special days to me. On July 17, the summer I first came to live here, you taught me to ride a bike. On September 26, you finally let me play tennis with two of your friends. You said you needed another person for doubles.”
“Yes. Last year. And we beat them,” he said.
“Christmas is always a special day here. And so is Halloween. That’s why I put those dates down.”
Austin looked at her then, and for the first time, Katia was aware of a boy looking at her with love in his eyes. She felt her heart thrum and warmth surged through her. She didn’t know if what she was feeling was normal or not, but it was incredibly exciting.
“And today is February 14. Valentine’s Day,” Austin said, reaching over to touch her hand. “I don’t have a card for you. I don’t have one for anyone. I guess I didn’t think much about it.”
“I made the card a while ago.”
“Before my father’s heart attack.”
“Yeah.”
“So you didn’t give me this just to make me feel better today?”
“No.”
“Then, why?”
“I want to be your friend, Austin. Your real friend. Always.”
“I’d like that, Katia,” he’d said as he gently folded the Valentine, put it in the envelope and slipped it into the breast pocket of his tweed jacket.
“Always...” Katia said out loud, jolting out of her reverie. Of all her memories of Austin, that Valentine’s Day was the sweetest. But what happened afterward made it painful to remember, too.
Austin hadn’t had a single opportunity to make any rules for himself. That autumn, his mother had shipped him off to New York to attend York Prep School, where he’d remained until his graduation.
With Austin away at school, Katia felt as if she’d been set adrift on an iceberg in the middle of the Black Sea. Katia didn’t know whom to blame. At times she felt as if she’d done something wrong, but her love for Austin wouldn’t allow her to hide in shame. Other times, she was angry that Hanna would think so ill of her that she couldn’t trust Katia and Austin to be alone. Through it all, she was lonely without Austin and she missed him more than she’d thought possible. By the time she was sixteen, they’d truly fallen in love, and the days without him were torturously long and empty. Nothing she did could fill the void. She counted the days until he came home for holidays. She wrote long letters to him and mailed them without Stephania’s or Hanna’s knowledge.
Though he never wrote back, he called her every Sunday night just after his weekly call to his mother. Katia waited in her bedroom and told her mother that one of her girlfriends was on the phone. Austin had to stand in line for a pay phone in his dorm, with other boys hanging over his shoulder, and the calls were often strained and awkward. Too often, Katia hung up in tears.
When Austin did come home for vacations, Katia made a fool of herself by hanging on to him, begging for kisses and promising to do everything and anything he asked. Then he would leave again for school and the torture would start all over.
Katia was so caught up in her obsession with Austin that she didn’t realize her wise and sharp-eyed mother had seen and heard everything.
Stephania was convinced Katia would get pregnant on Austin’s next school break. There was barely enough income to contribute to Katia’s upcoming schooling as it was. The cost of a third mouth to feed—not to mention the time and energy required to care for a baby—would diminish any hopes Katia had of attending college, and her future opportunities would dwindle. Stephania told her daughter that her own job in the McCreary household would be on the line if things went too far with Austin. He would come out of the scandal unscathed, while Katia and Stephania would pay the price—financially and emotionally.
Katia tried to convince her mother that she was wrong about her and Austin, but Stephania couldn’t be swayed. Before Austin returned home, Stephania announced to Hanna that she wanted to quit. In a matter of days they’d moved to Stephania’s cousin’s house on the South Side of Chicago.
Katia was devastated. She was impossibly in love with Austin, and she believed in her heart that he loved her back. But the shame she felt when she overheard her mother explain their sudden appearance in Chicago to her cousins was unbearable. Katia would always know that because of her love for Austin, her mother had lost a good income. They’d been forced to take charity from their family.
Yet being without Austin was agonizing, and Katia cried every night for months after the move. Still, she was embarrassed by the way she’d acted around him; when they were together, she couldn’t think straight, much less make intelligent decisions. Though Katia knew that she would never have gotten pregnant, she had to admit her mother was right that her relationship with Austin could have compromised her future and well-being.
The only way to cure her addiction to Austin was to never write or call him again. She despised herself for not contacting him, but at the time, she’d felt she had no choice. She had to make a new life and put Austin in the past—forever.
Fortunately, Stephania landed a good-paying job at a luxury hotel in downtown Chicago. She loved her work and often brought Katia to the city to shop and eat in the hotel dining room. Stephania adored Chicago city life, and this was her way of trying to make amends with Katia after taking her away from Indian Lake. Those had been good years, despite Katia’s broken heart. Stephania had remained at the hotel until she’d died of cancer nearly ten years ago.
Katia had come a long way since she’d lived in Indian Lake. But thinking of Austin now, she rediscovered a lead coat of guilt she thought she’d long ago discarded.
Katia had broken Austin McCreary’s heart, and she’d never apologized, never tried to contact him. Never once had she lifted a finger to do the right thing.
She was the bad guy.
KATIA WAS WEARING a gray wool pencil skirt, a black turtleneck cashmere sweater and black pumps when she walked into Jack’s office on Monday morning. Jack had called her in for a brainstorming meeting with him and Barry. She carried a legal pad, pen and the chocolate mousse for Barry.
“Good morning, gentlemen,” she said cheerily, placing the foil-wrapped cake on the credenza behind Barry’s chair. “That’s for
