“That shouldn’t be a problem. He’s a chatterbox, so I’m sure he’ll get the conversation going. He’ll probably ask you tons of questions. He wants to know everything about you.”
Kade buttered a slice of bread and dipped it into the stew. “I want to know all about him, too. But I haven’t decided how long I’m going to stay. I’m just going to play it by ear. For now, I checked into the motel where I stayed last time. That old place is still there.”
The place where they’d spent that glorious week together. She reached for her water. “It’s the only motel in town.”
“I know. But it doesn’t look as if it’s changed a bit. You have, though. Not so much in the way you look, but the way you carry yourself. Motherhood suits you.”
She felt her lonely heart go bump. “I love being a mom.” Being a single parent, however, wouldn’t have been her first choice. It wasn’t what she’d envisioned for herself.
“I’m sorry that I never called you, Bridget. If I’d known how important it was, I would have.”
“I took you at your word. But I should have known better.”
A frown furrowed his brow. “You still should have called me when you found out you were expecting. I had the right to know that you were having my baby.”
She took a jittery breath, preparing to relay the explanation he was waiting to hear. “I really liked you, Kade. I was smitten from the moment I met you. But I hadn’t intended to sleep with you. I’d never done anything like that before.”
“Had a fling?”
“Had sex at all. You were my first.”
He flinched, good and hard. “Damn, Bridget. You’re full of surprises. It never even occurred to me. I had no idea.”
“It’s not always that obvious.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on either of us beforehand. And after it was over, I didn’t need to explain since there was no real evidence of it.”
He scrunched up his face. “I hope I didn’t hurt you.”
“It was a little uncomfortable at first. But after that...” She let her words drift, recalling how wild and sexy and dreamy it had been.
“So I wasn’t too rough or anything?”
“No. You didn’t do anything wrong. I just didn’t want to point out that I was a twenty-year-old virgin.”
“Even if that’s what you were?”
“I’d done other things. I’d just never gone all the way with anyone.”
“Then, why did you do it with me?”
“Because being with you was exciting. You weren’t like any of the boys I’d dated around here. Plus, when you told me that you didn’t pick up women like that, it made me feel special.”
“You were special. I have fond memories of you, more than anyone else I’ve ever been with.”
“That’s nice to know, but it doesn’t change anything. You still drifted off the way my dad did. He was always on the road, too. A tractor salesman who blew into town and started romancing my mom. He didn’t disappear right away, though. He used to come and go, even after I was born.”
“So he knew about you from the start?”
“Yes. My mother told him, but he didn’t offer to marry her or get too domestic. He just breezed in and out of our lives, charming us with his tales of being on the road. He used to bring me gifts from all of the places he’d been, little trinkets from his sales routes.”
“Where did he live?”
“Nowhere in particular. He had a travel trailer that he hauled around. He used to say that having a home on wheels was the best way to live.”
Kade squinted, as if he was listening intently to her story. “So what happened? Did he just stop coming around?”
Bridget nodded. “I was seven the last time I saw him, and I remember clinging to him and not wanting to let go. By then, his visits were becoming less frequent and he was hardly bringing any gifts anymore, so I was already starting to feel a sense of neglect. His disinterest in my mom was showing, too. It was foolish of her to wait around for him all those years, hoping that he’d want to marry her someday and turn us into a real family.”
Kade squinted again. “That was a terrible thing for him to do, to disappear like that.”
“He didn’t disappear completely. He called one final time from the road and told my mom that he wasn’t coming back. That it was too much pressure, and he couldn’t handle it.”
“Is that what you thought I would do to Cody? Is that why you didn’t tell me about him?”
“I would have told you if you’d called me. But when you broke your promise and never got back in touch with me, I figured it was better to just keep you out of my child’s life. To me, you were already showing signs of being like my dad. He never made good on his word, either. Even when he was active in our lives, we could never quite count on him. If he said he was coming for Christmas, he would show up on New Year’s instead.”
“I understand why your experiences with your dad triggered concerns about me. But you never even gave me a chance when you found out about the baby. I still don’t think that was fair.”
“Maybe not. But you have your chance now. Only whatever you do, please don’t make promises to Cody that you don’t intend to keep. I couldn’t bear for him go through what I went through.”
“I have no idea what type of relationship Cody and I are going to establish, but I’m not your dad, Bridget. I’m not going to leave without ever coming back.”
“I hope not,” she said, praying with all her might that Kade turned out to be a far better man than she’d given him credit for.
Kade wanted to prove himself. He wanted to do everything right. But the pressure Bridget was putting on him wasn’t helping. He could tell from her expression that she had doubts.
“Were you scared when you first found out you were pregnant?” he asked.
“Are you kidding? I was terrified.”
“I’m terrified, too. Except that I’m becoming a parent to a fifth-grader, instead of a newborn.”
Kade was immersed in all sorts of emotions. Not only would he be meeting his son for the first time, he also had to contend with the fact that he’d been Bridget’s first lover. He’d never been anyone’s first. If he’d known, he might’ve ended it before it had begun. Then again, maybe he would’ve forged ahead anyway. Either way, it altered the experience when the details
