“You are the first woman to bear my child,” he pointed out.
She laughed. “And so I am. I’ll make allowances for your overbearing ways because this is your first child. When we have our next, I expect you to act sanely.”
Every muscle in his body stiffened, and he fought the darkness that spread across his face. Another child. It suggested permanence. A lasting relationship. Yes, he planned to ask—no, insist—she marry him, but he hadn’t given thought to what it would mean. A permanent place in his life for her. More children.
Were his brothers right? Should he have installed her in an apartment, hired suitable staff to look after her until the baby was born and then removed her from his life?
“Chrysander? Is something wrong?”
He glanced up to see her staring at him with worried eyes. There, again, as it had so many times before when she looked at him, was a flash of uncertainty. Of fear almost. He cursed under his breath. He had not intended to frighten her, nor did he want to upset her.
He reached for her. “No, pedhaki mou. Nothing is wrong.”
She hesitated the briefest of seconds before she finally walked around and into his arms. She settled on his knee, and he watched as she worked her lower lip between her teeth.
“Don’t you want more children?” she asked.
He cocked his head to the side, trying to adopt a casual air. “I don’t suppose I’d considered it yet. Our first son is still to be born.”
She nodded. “I know. I suppose I just assumed since you have brothers that you’d want more than one child. Have we discussed it before? Did I want more than one? I look ahead now and feel like I’d love several more. Maybe four total. But I don’t know if I’ve always wanted that many.”
Unable to resist her worried brow, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Let’s not worry about it now. We have plenty of time. First you have to marry me,” he said teasingly. “Let’s wait until our son is born to think about adding more to our family.”
A beautiful, captivating smile lit up her face and knocked the breath from him all in one moment.
“That sounds so lovely when you say it,” she breathed.
“What’s that?”
“Family. I don’t have family, or so I was told. To know that you and I will have a family of our own means so much. Sometimes I feel so lonely, like I’ve been lonely forever.”
She shivered lightly against his chest as the haunting words left her lips.
“You aren’t alone,” he said softly. “You have me, and we have our son.”
It was a vow. One that he felt only passing discomfort over making. Part of him wondered at the ease with which he committed himself to a woman who’d done so much damage, but the other part could no sooner turn away than he could cut off his arm.
“You should go rest,” he said firmly, more because of his need to distance himself from her before he totally succumbed to the pull between them than a real concern over her health. The doctor had assured him she was fit and well, that her fainting spell had been nothing more than a product of missed meals. “I’ll summon Mrs. Cahill to help you up the stairs.”
Her lips turned down into a frown. She struggled up from his lap even as he put a hand to her arm. “I’m perfectly rested, Chrysander. The walk on the beach was very refreshing.”
“Still, a short repose wouldn’t be unreasonable,” he said. “I have some work to finish. I’ll come for you when I’m done, and we can have dinner together.”
Disappointment dulled her eyes before she looked away. She nodded but said nothing as she left the room.
Marley closed Chrysander’s door quietly and glanced up as Patrice approached. She tried to look welcoming, because after all she did like Patrice. She was just doing her job.
“Are you ready to go up?” Patrice asked with a smile.
Marley sighed. “Honestly? I’d like to smother Chrysander with the pillow he insists I rest on.”
Patrice tried to stifle her laughter, but a chuckle escaped. “Could I interest you in a cup of tea on the terrace instead?”
Marley immediately brightened. “That sounds wonderful.”
She fell into step beside Patrice as the two headed toward the glass doors. A cool breeze, scented by the ocean, blew over Marley’s face when she stepped outside.
“I hope you don’t mind if Dr. Karounis joins us.” Marley noticed the way Patrice’s cheeks turned pink as she spoke. “He and I take tea here every afternoon.”
“Of course not,” Marley replied as she settled into one of the chairs surrounding the small table overlooking the gardens.
When Patrice ducked back inside to prepare the tea, Marley was left alone. She leaned back and stared out over the grounds. Even with the constant company that Patrice and Dr. Karounis afforded, loneliness surrounded her like a cloak. That and frustration.
Every time Chrysander relaxed around her and they shared any sort of intimacy, he immediately backed away, as if he became aware of what was happening and rushed to correct it.
She was convinced that Patrice and Dr. Karounis were here more as a barrier between her and Chrysander than they were here over any worry he had of her health. Not that he didn’t care. She wasn’t petty enough to think he wasn’t genuinely concerned for her and their child. But at the same time, she couldn’t discount the convenience of him pawning her off on Patrice whenever things got too personal.
It seemed that when she actually started to relax, he only grew more uptight. Nothing about her supposed relationship with this man made any sense to her. If only she could remember. If only she knew someone she could ask. Had she truly been so closed off from the rest of the world during her relationship with Chrysander?
“Surely things aren’t that bad,” Patrice said as she set a tray down on the table in front of Marley. “You look as though you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.”
Marley managed a faltering smile. “Oh, nothing so serious. Just thinking.”
Dr. Karounis walked up behind Patrice and nodded a greeting to Marley. Patrice smiled broadly and urged the doctor to sit down while she poured tea.
Despite her own inner turmoil, Marley couldn’t help but smile at the older couple. They were obviously enjoying a mild flirtation. It was good to see someone happy and content. She’d give anything to enjoy a moment’s peace.
With another sigh, she collected her cup and brought it to her lips as she looked out again over the beautiful garden. Maybe she was expecting too much in too short a time. Maybe she was pushing too hard, which precipitated Chrysander pushing her away. So much would be solved if she could only remember.
At any rate, she couldn’t expect an overnight miracle. There had to be a way to break through Chrysander’s defenses. She just had to find it.
