he called, “Good night.”
“’Night, Dad.”
Downstairs, Grant went to the dark den again. Light from the hallway illuminated the table beside his chair and the cold macaroni and cheese. He sat down and took a sip of the wine. He stared at the dark TV screen.
Ally wanted him to marry Jenna? The thought was ridiculous. Beyond ridiculous. It was preposterous.
And then he thought of what else she had said. About him, about the way he was living.
He was lonely. He hated to admit it, but Ally was right. He was lonely and he missed his wife in a million ways, but mostly he just missed her being here. He thought that his job and his daughters would be enough to make him happy or at least content, but they weren’t. He’d known that for months now. Something was missing from his life. Someone.
Grant didn’t know how long he’d sat in the dark staring at the TV when he heard footsteps on the staircase.
“Dad?” Hannah called.
“In here.”
She stuck her head in the doorway. Hannah was pretty like her mother with silky blond hair she wore pulled back in a short ponytail and hazel eyes that sparkled when she laughed. “You sitting in the dark again?” she grumbled.
He didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing.
“Thinking about Mom?” she said in a quieter tone. “I know. I was thinking about her today, too. It was your anniversary.”
Grant was touched that she remembered. “I miss her,” he said, realizing that he didn’t feel the same sadness he had once felt when he talked about Ally. It seemed that what people said was true. Most of the pain and sadness had passed. Now there were just a lot of memories in his head that made him smile.
Hannah leaned in the doorway. “Me, too.” She glanced up. “But you know, Dad, she’s been gone two years. You think maybe it’s time you stop sitting in the dark by yourself at night, pretending she’s here.”
He got up and walked into the hallway, through to the kitchen. She followed him. “I don’t pretend she’s here,” he said. “I just like the quiet.”
“Well, whatever.”
She hung in the kitchen doorway, and he wondered what was with teens and doorways. Hannah could never just walk into a room; she always had to stand in the doorway, as if she feared she might have to make a quick escape. What would he do when Becka turned thirteen? Would his two daughters share doorways or would they have to have their own?
Grant reached into the refrigerator and pulled out the gallon of milk Jenna had brought. He’d have to remember to include this in the reimbursement for all of the other things she’d gotten for the girls tonight. She’d been doing these things since before Ally’s death, when Ally had gotten too weak to take the children out. Once in a while, Jenna would just herd them all into her car and head for a mall, or a movie, or something. It was a nice break for him, and the girls loved her.
“So what I was saying, Dad…”
He poured himself a glass of milk, not sure he wanted to hear what Hannah had to say, but listening anyway. He knew parents who would give their eyeteeth for their teenaged daughters to voluntarily offer their opinions on anything. To be able to have conversations with them that didn’t involve shouting or accusations. But something told him that the direction Hannah was headed with this conversation wasn’t somewhere he was ready to go yet.
“I think you should think about dating.”
Grant knew he must have stood frozen for a moment because the glass almost overflowed with milk. He caught himself and capped the gallon container. So that was where she was headed. “Date? Me?” He laughed.
“Yes, you. Why not?” She lifted one shoulder draped in a thick sweater. “I don’t know, Dad, you’re still cute in a geeky kind of way.”
He put the milk back into the fridge with a smile. “Well, thank you.”
She exhaled. “You know what I mean. In a dad way.”
He grabbed his glass of milk and leaned against the counter. “Hannah. Look at me. I am a geeky kind of guy. I’m not rich. I’m the principal of a school, for heaven’s sake, and I’ve got three daughters to raise. Who in her right mind would want to go out with me?” He lifted his glass to take a drink.
Again, she raised one shoulder in a half shrug. “I don’t know. How about Aunt Jenna?”
She said it just as he took a big swallow of milk. He choked, snorted and thought maybe he had inhaled some milk.
“Dad? You okay?”
He choked again and tried to suck in a lung full of air. “Okay…I’m fine,” he managed.
She laughed. “Careful there. Milk consumption can be a dangerous thing.”
You’re not kidding, he thought, grabbing a napkin out of the holder on the counter to wipe his mouth. He couldn’t believe Hannah had suggested he date Jenna. Was this some kind of conspiracy between her and Ally? He knew it couldn’t be and yet…
“Well, I’m headed for bed,” Hannah said interrupting his thoughts. “Geometry test tomorrow, first period.”
“You study?” he called after her as she disappeared into the hall. He was a principal now, but he had been a teacher first. Once a teacher, always a teacher.
“Yes, Dad,” she called. “’Night, Dad.”
“’Night, hon.”
Grant finished his milk, rinsed out the glass and placed it in the dishwasher. Then he poured some soap in and hit Wash as he did every night before he went to bed. He turned out the kitchen light, headed for bed, then veered into the study as he realized he had left Ally’s tape in the VCR. He wouldn’t want one of the kids to find it. He meant to retrieve the tape, but when he got into the den, he had to watch it again. And again. It ended shortly after the marrying Jenna part. Ally just said that she loved him and that she couldn’t have picked a better person to love him and their girls than Jenna.
Grant always went to bed by eleven. He brushed his teeth, folded his clothes and put on a pair of boxers before climbing into bed. But for the first time in his life, he fell asleep in front of the TV.
He fell asleep thinking of Jenna.
Chapter Two
Lights flickered on upstairs in Becka and Maddy’s bedroom in the front of the cape cod as Jenna backed her Honda out of Grant’s driveway and onto the street. “’Night sweeties,” she murmured. “Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite.” She chuckled. “Don’t let the weird dad bite is more like it.”
Jenna knew it was Grant’s and Ally’s wedding anniversary today. She knew they would have been married sixteen years if it hadn’t been for Ally’s death from breast cancer. That was why she had taken the girls with her after school and done the dinner out and shopping thing. To give Grant a chance to be alone. Cry a little if he wanted
