ACCORDING TO RODGER SPICER’S report, Hank Ballantyne was an intelligent, rational man.
With that in mind, Natalie had told herself a million times that if they just remained reasonable, they should be able to work out a solution to their problem.
Not that she was anywhere near convinced they’d manage it, but they had to try. Aside from anything else, it would be a whole lot easier on Benjamin if they could simply come to an agreement themselves.
So even though she had the feeling Hank was tuning in and out while she went over what the lawyer had told her, she pressed on.
“Basically, his opinion is that we’re looking at a legal nightmare,” she said. “You believed you were adopting an orphan, but…”
She caught herself before she said “Benjamin” aloud. She had to start thinking of her son as Robbie. After all, that was the name he knew, so it was what she’d have to call him.
“But because I was actually alive,” she explained, “and didn’t know what was happening, let alone agree to give up my baby…
“Well, apparently, there’s almost no relevant case law in the entire country, let alone in the state of New Jersey. So if we can’t agree on how to handle this, if we have to resort to the courts, it would be a precedent-setting case—which I gather could easily drag on for years. Plus cost a fortune in legal fees.”
“And while it was dragging on?” Hank said. “Where would Robbie be?”
“With one of us.”
“Which one?”
“We wouldn’t be sure about that until…If we can’t work things out on our own,” she continued, desperately trying not to sound as though she was threatening him, “I’d have to apply for interim custody.”
“You’d have to,” he repeated, eyeing her so coldly she looked away.
Obviously, she had sounded threatening. But she’d just wanted him to realize what her only alternative would be.
Not that it would necessarily do her any good. Her lawyer had made that clear.
She might be the birth parent, but Hank was the one Benjamin…Robbie knew. The one he loved and had lived with for as long as he could remember.
That meant most judges probably wouldn’t let her take him back to Guatemala until after a final decision had been reached. Far more likely, the ruling would be that he should stay right where he was for the time being. With Hank.
And if that was the end result of the first round of legal wrangling, a competent lawyer could probably manage to drag the court proceedings on until Robbie was ready for college. So resolving the problem themselves…
She said, “Hank, the most important factor in this is Robbie’s well-being, right?”
“Of course.”
“And I realize that my walking in here and trying to take him away from you would not be in his best interest, so it isn’t what I’m trying to do.
“It really isn’t,” she added when he looked as if he wasn’t buying that for a second. “But I’ve been working on finding him since the day I went to that orphanage and learned…
“If we just come up with a compromise that we can both live with…Hank, I know how awful this must be for you, but he is my son.”
“And he’s been my son since he was six months old. Do you think I don’t love him?”
“I know you do,” she whispered, her throat tight. “Now that I’m here…now that we’ve met, I can tell—”
“Let’s get back to what your lawyer said,” he interrupted. “What did he figure would happen if you did apply for interim custody?”
She thought about what to say for a few seconds, deciding there was no point in trying to make her case sound stronger than it actually was. Not when Hank would undoubtedly talk to a lawyer of his own.
“He basically told me,” she finally said, “that how the hearing went would depend on the legal arguments and the particular judge.”
She watched Hank shake his head when she finished speaking, trying not to feel sorry for him but finding it impossible.
There was no trick at all to putting herself in his shoes when they were pretty much identical to her own. They loved the same child, but he couldn’t be with both of them at once. And the problem was no more Hank’s fault than hers.
“All right,” he finally said. “You’ve had a lot more time to consider this than me. How do you see us resolving it?”
Nervously she licked her lips. In her dreams, she simply whisked her son back to Guatemala with her. But she knew she couldn’t do that in reality. Aside from anything else, it would be too horribly traumatic for him.
As far as he was concerned, Hank was his father. While she was…it hurt to even think about. At this point, she was nothing to him.
“You have come up with some ideas, haven’t you?” Hank said.
“Not specifically detailed ones. But I thought we could consider some sort of shared custody arrangement.”
Hank eyed her, his expression unreadable.
“I realize we’d have to take this slowly. That Robbie would have to get to know me, feel comfortable with me, before we could even consider anything more long term.
“So, for the moment, I was just hoping you’d let me spend some time with him. I’m staying at the Whispering Winds Motel, only a few miles from here.”
He nodded that he knew where it was.
“We could take things step by step, give ourselves the chance to really consider our options—”
Before she completed the sentence she heard a door open. Seconds later, a whirlwind of a little boy charged into the living room.
“We had ice cream,” he said, throwing himself at Hank. “’Cuz I was good.”
Natalie’s heart flooded with emotion. After all this time, her son was right here before her—alive and well and the most beautiful child she’d ever seen.
She desperately wanted to gather him up in her arms and never let him go. But he was already in Hank’s arms.
And to his mind that’s where he belongs, an imaginary voice whispered.
Taking a long, deep breath, she told herself she was not going to cry.
Yet even though she’d realized that when she found him he’d have no idea who she was, contemplating that in the abstract and coming face-to-face with the reality were two completely different things.
Watching him hug Hank, without even glancing her way, tore at her far more than she’d ever have imagined.
“Oh,
