this battle.
‘If you arrest Jessica you’ll have to arrest me as well. Then you’ll have an Urban Search and Rescue team with no medics.’
The man Jessica was facing snorted impatiently. ‘We’re wasting time here. Where’s your squad leader?’
‘Right here.’ USAR specialist Tony Calder had already been striding towards the obvious confrontation. ‘What’s going on?’
‘Your medic here is not going back to the scene. I want her off site.’
Tony cast a surprised glance at Jessica and then at the tall paramedic standing beside her. Joe gave a tiny head shake that indicated he wasn’t up to speed yet either. His gaze snapped back to the man who had issued the angry directive. ‘What’s the problem?’
‘Turns out her kid is in there. Somewhere.’
There was a short silence. Just long enough for everyone to acknowledge the implications. They were more than twelve hours into dealing with the aftermath of the biggest urban disaster ever to occur in New Zealand. The explosion and collapse of a significant portion of the suburban shopping mall had already claimed at least twenty-six fatalities, including eight children, dozens more injured with four listed as critical and possibly up to thirty victims still missing. Including a five-year-old child.
‘Is that true, Jessica?’
Her nod was tight. ‘I can do this, Tony. I have to do this.’
Tony shook his head. ‘No way. I understand how you feel, Jessica, and I’m terribly sorry you’re going through this but there’s no way you can go back to the front line. This job is dangerous enough without that kind of personal involvement.’
‘But I’ve already been doing it. Just because you’ve found out, it doesn’t make any difference.’
‘What?’ Tony’s jaw sagged. ‘Have you known about this all along?’
‘Apparently her mother was the last fatality we pulled out on our first shift.’ Joe’s calm voice filled the gap created by Jessica’s lack of response.
‘You knew about this?’ Tony snapped. ‘You’re a paramedic, Joe. You know as well as I do how something like this could affect someone’s rational behaviour. It could endanger a whole team. You’re the leading medic for our squad. It was your responsibility to pull Jessica off the team.’
‘I didn’t know then. She didn’t tell me. And I certainly didn’t know that her mother had the kid with her.’ Joe’s tone suggested something darker than disappointment. Their relationship might have been simply that of classmates previously, but he and Jessica had been working as a tight unit for the last twelve hours under conditions that demanded the closest cooperation—and trust. Joe Barrington did not take kindly to finding his trust misplaced.
‘I didn’t tell anybody.’ Jessica tried to put aside the memory of seeing her mother’s lifeless body pulled from beneath the rubble. The shock had been enough to provide a protective numbing of her senses and she had grasped and clung to that effect. She couldn’t afford to acknowledge any grief yet, and the shock was a cushion to allow postponement of the inevitable reaction. Jessica had focused on her son. On finding him. Alive. ‘I knew what you’d say,’ she added defensively. ‘And I wasn’t going to let anybody stop me going back in there.’
‘We only just found out the connection.’ The overalls worn by the man still facing Jessica advertised his connection to Civil Defence. His white helmet indicated a senior level of responsibility. ‘The call to trace next of kin for the victim led the police team to the USAR training course. We located Jessica, thinking that she didn’t know, and then we find that she did know. And she’s been back in there working again.’ The tone was one of complete disbelief and the stare he gave Jessica suggested that she was some kind of unfeeling monster. ‘You helped pull your own mother out and you still went back in.’
‘My son is in there. He’s five years old…and he might still be alive.’
The silence was longer this time. Jessica could feel the long odds of that being the case being calculated by the men surrounding her. She wanted to close her eyes and focus on her belief that Ricky was still alive. Instead, she turned her head to meet Joe’s gaze.
Would he think less of her for keeping the devastating information private? Would he guess that she’d used the stand-down period from their first tour of duty to sit by herself in the empty USAR bus gathering strength to control her grief and fear? Putting aside the clear decision Joe had made not to act on the glimmers of attraction that had passed between them ever since they had met three weeks ago, would the fact that they had been there at all help sway Joe in favour of supporting her now? His expression suggested that he was certainly seeing her in a new light. Jessica held his gaze for a second longer to let him see the strength she possessed—strength coupled with a fiery determination and a larger dose of courage than she had ever summoned.
Joe couldn’t look away. It wasn’t due to any resurgence of the physical attraction he had felt on more than one occasion for Jessica. She was encased in shapeless, dirty overalls right now. The abundant auburn curls were hidden under the bright orange helmet. A dust mask dangled beneath a face streaked with grime and the safety goggles had left a red, indented rim around her eyes. What was kicking Joe in the gut was nothing remotely physical. Those dark eyes were revealing something that packed an emotional punch that hit Joe at a much deeper level. His attraction to her had been easy to dismiss once he’d discovered her single-mother status, but nobody could remain unmoved by the sight of that desperate appeal for support underlying a fierce determination to find and protect her child. Jessica was not going to be defeated if there was any way she could fight back.
Perhaps his trust had not been misplaced after all. If Joe ever needed someone fighting on his side, he would want them to have exactly that kind of attitude to obstacles. And she could do it, too. Joe could see a strength he wouldn’t have dreamed the shy, quiet nurse could possess. He tore his gaze away to face the Civil Defence official. At well over six feet in height he could look down on the man and he knew that a calm tone would aid the impression that he was in the best position to assess and control the situation.
‘Jess has already proved that she’s capable of continuing her job. We’ve just dealt with a multi-trauma victim extricated from our sector. The woman had an internal haemorrhage and a punctured lung with a pneumothorax that required medical intervention well above any first-aid levels. I can vouch for the fact that her clinical ability had not been affected. In fact, I couldn’t have done my job without Jessica’s assistance.’
Jessica lowered her gaze for a split second. The praise was unexpected and enough to distract her momentarily from her fierce concentration on achieving her current goal. Had Joe really found her assistance that vital? He hadn’t said anything more than ‘Thanks—good job, Jess’ at the time, but even that had been enough to reward the effort it had taken.
‘We’re short of medics in there,’ Joe added. ‘I think she should be allowed to come back in.’
‘No way.’ The white helmet gave a decisive shake.
Tony Calder was also looking dubious. ‘It’s too risky, Joe.’
‘I’ll take responsibility for the risk,’ Joe said. ‘As you pointed out, Tony, I’m the leading medic on this team. Jess can do this. She should be allowed to do this. If there’s any question of anyone being endangered then I’ll pull the plug. At least let her do it until the end of
