since the moment he’d arrived. She’d sent him a card for his birthday every year for the first five years after he left, but she’d never heard anything back. She was more than a little angry. And it was the safest emotion for her to land on at the moment.
She had a gaping sense of loss from her father’s death and she knew some of the anger coursing through her was because she hadn’t spent enough quality time with him before he died. Sure, they’d done chores together and eaten with Jeb and the other ranch hands and sat in silence, but she’d never really gotten to know him. She had thought she’d have decades left to hear his stories and ask him questions.
Jason’s door was closed.
She reminded herself that he was no longer the boy she’d known so well...yet not well enough.
The too-brief kiss they’d shared in the kitchen had whetted her appetite, reawakened a desire that had never really gone away. He would leave again. To be fair, she’d probably want him to go. She knew she didn’t share power easily and the thought of having to make decisions about the ranch with him chafed.
“Molly?”
She glanced up and saw him standing in front of his bedroom. No shirt to cover that muscled chest of his, only a pair of low-slung jeans that clung to his hip bones. His hair was rumpled as if he’d run his fingers through it a few times. Hers tingled as she thought of touching him.
“I am pissed at you,” she said at last.
He rubbed his chest, the thin layer of hair there and the scar he’d earned trying to climb out his window when he’d first come to live with them. The Bar T Ranch had left its mark on Jason as surely as it had on her.
“I left so I wouldn’t hurt your relationship with your dad,” he said.
“That’s BS and you know it. You left because you were afraid.”
“Afraid?”
“Yes. Of me. Of getting tied to this ranch and never seeing the world outside its borders.”
He shrugged and took a step forward. She shivered. He was all masculine grace. He moved as if he owned the world, and given that he’d seen it from orbit maybe he did.
She wanted to be in control. But she couldn’t help wondering if giving in to lust would finally answer the question that had niggled at her for thirteen long years. Would he be the lover she’d always dreamed of? Sixteen-year-old Molly had been sure of it. Twenty-nine-year-old Molly had been disappointed by men before. But she wanted this, wanted him.
Always had.
“So...”
“You certainly aren’t any more eloquent than you used to be,” she said, closing the gap between them. Acting without thinking.
That was the key. Don’t think. She had been thinking way too much since her father died and she’d seen Jason’s name on the will. She’d been questioning why her father, whom she’d thought she’d known so well, had named him in the will and not just her. Did he think she needed a man’s help?
Stop.
Don’t think.
Act.
She put her hands on Jason’s shoulders. His skin was hot, hard under her touch, and damn he smelled good. She went up on her tiptoes, hung there balanced only by her hands on his body.
He arched one eyebrow at her but didn’t make another move. She felt the unspoken dare between them. Was she going to do this or back away as she had in the kitchen?
“Ah, hell.”
Jason’s words lingered in the air around them as his mouth came down on hers. For a mouth that had always looked so strong and tough, it was soft against hers. He took the kiss slowly as if he had all the time in the world.
They had this night.
Nothing was complicated in this empty house with the moon shining down on them. She held tightly on to his shoulders as he parted his lips and she felt the first thrust of his tongue in her mouth.
He tasted of whiskey and temptation. Two things she knew she should resist right now but was unable to.
She was tired of denying herself. Jason McCoy. She’d wanted him for longer than she could remember and at last it seemed he was hers for the taking.
No more regrets.
He settled his hands on her hips, drawing her closer, and the silk nightie she wore under the robe did nothing to protect her from the intense heat of his embrace. He thrust his tongue deeper into her mouth and she felt a fire start in her soul and fan outward.
She pulled back, looking up into his eyes. They were heavy-lidded, half-closed. Slowly he opened them.
MOLLY STARED UP into eyes the color of the morning sky, trying not to lose herself. She knew why she was out here in the hallway after midnight. But it was too much to believe that he’d wandered into the hall at the same moment, also unable to sleep.
“Why are you actually here?” she asked. Her voice sounded husky, needy. Too feminine. She might want to pretend Jason didn’t affect her, but that would be a lie. Her father hadn’t held with lying so neither would she.
“To see the land, to figure things out with you,” he said, but he’d turned away. He put his hands on his hips and looked out the big window at the inky-black sky beyond. She wondered if, when he looked at the night sky, it made him long to be back among the stars.
She had questions about that part of his life, but mostly, right now, she needed to not turn something meaningless into a big deal. Her dad had died. She felt tears burning her eyes. She hoped one day she’d be able to think about him without this gut-wrenching pain, but she wasn’t there yet. Would she ever be?
“Hey, you all right?”
She shook her head. “Just—”
Her voice, heavy with tears, sounded deep and almost unintelligible.
“It’s okay. I miss Mick, too,” he said.
Miss him. She ached with his loss. She still wasn’t ready to be on her own with the ranch or in life. She needed her father’s advice. Now more than ever.
More tears fell and all of a sudden she was sobbing. She had heard it said that grief was the photo negative of love, but she wasn’t ready to accept it. It was just a huge hole in her that could never be filled.
Jason cursed and then pulled her into his arms. He didn’t do anything else. Just held her as sobs racked her body and her emotions fell in a gush of tears. She had no idea how much time had passed until she was hiccupping softly and the tears had almost dried up.
“Sorry for that,” she said, taking a step backward.
“I’m not,” he admitted. He wiped the trail of moisture off her face and then sighed. “I’m also here because...I have a few health concerns
