You are allowed to have a life, too, you know.’
‘It’s not that bad,’ Clara protested. ‘It’s just been a bit full on these past few weeks.’
‘You should take some time off, I bet you’ve got heaps owing. Go and see this magical land of yours. I know that’s what I’ll be doing once I’ve done my three-month stint here. When I’ve got my advanced diver’s certificate I’ll be able to take tourists out to the reef myself. I’ve got a two-year working holiday visa and I intend to use every last day of it. Diving’s great.’
‘There’s not much ocean in Tennengarrah,’ Clara needlessly pointed out.
‘Then I’ll just have to stick to medicine while I’m here, I guess.’ He was smiling at her and, what was more amazing given her mood only twenty minutes earlier, Clara was smiling back, only this time it wasn’t forced or awkward. This time it seemed the most natural thing in the world. ‘Thanks for the tour and by the way…’ He was walking out now, heading for the door as Clara turned back to Bill’s notes. ‘I still want that dance.’
‘So Cinderella shall go to the ball after all.’
The sound of Bill’s voice filling the silence made Clara jump. Crossing the room, she smiled at her patient as she wrapped the blood-pressure cuff around his arm.
‘You were supposed to be asleep.’
‘Everyone would have stopped talking if I’d opened my eyes. It’s nice to hear a bit of a gossip.’
Bill had been lying in a state of lethargic depression for weeks now, and Clara was so relieved to see his familiar, kind eyes with a bit of sparkle back in them that her own worries flew out of the window. After checking his obs, she perched on the edge of his bed for a little chat.
‘It’s good to have you back, Bill.’
‘It’s good to be back. Now that I’ve finally decided to go ahead and have the bypass I feel better.’
‘You’ll feel even better when you’ve had the operation. Not at first, of course, but after a month or two you’ll be a new man, Bill. I’m sure you’ve made the right choice.’
‘I hope so.’ She could see the glimmer of fear in his eyes and instinctively Clara put her hand over his and gave it a small squeeze. ‘You’re a good girl, Clara,’ Bill said as he gripped her hand back. ‘Ross, Kell, Shelly, Abby, they’re all great and everything, but you’re one in a million, do you know that?’
‘Stop getting maudlin.’ Clara blushed, but Bill wouldn’t let up.
‘I remember when your parents died. One of Tennengarrah’s blackest days it was. We were all so worried about you, wondering what would become of you. Just fifteen years old and with no one to take care of you…’
‘I had loads of people,’ Clara broke in. ‘Everyone helped.’
‘Still, a lot of fifteen-year-olds would have gone off the rails. But not you. You put your head down and got on with it, didn’t you? Really made something of yourself. The whole town’s so proud of you, Clara. You’re a true Tennengarrah girl.’
‘So is Kell,’ Clara pointed out, trying not to linger on his name too long, trying to have a normal conversation without betraying the agony in her heart. It wasn’t too hard to do. After all, she’d been hiding her feelings where Kell was concerned for years, it came almost as naturally as breathing. ‘He’s a guy, of course, but he’s a local, too.’
‘For how long, though?’
On any other day and under any other circumstance she’d have managed a shrug or a smile, managed to carry on talking as if she didn’t have a care in the world, as if Kell Bevan was just another friend and colleague. Only today she couldn’t do it.
Today as Clara sat in the still, quiet ward with her one and only patient, something that felt suspiciously like a tear pricked her eye as Bill carried on talking.
‘This is hard on you, isn’t it, Clara?’
‘What do you mean?’ Confused, she shook her head, went to pull her hand away, but Bill gripped it tighter and those kind eyes stared back at her thoughtfully.
‘Kell’s a bit more than just a friend to you, isn’t he?’
Aghast, Clara’s eyes widened, her mouth opening to let out a small wail of protest, but Bill moved quickly to reassure her.
‘No one knows, so don’t be embarrassed. I’ve known you all your life, you’re like a second daughter to me, but even I didn’t have a clue. You’ve always just been Kell and Clara, two school kids, two mates and later two nurses. I never even realised until a couple of weeks ago how you felt. But watching the two of you working together, how your whole face lights up when he comes in the room, how difficult it’s been for you when Abby’s around, well, I guess something just clicked in my head. You do care for him, don’t you?’
It was pointless denying it, pointless when tears were streaming down her face as her old mate Bill gently held her hand.
Bill wasn’t just a patient—he was friend, a surrogate uncle. Endless nights had been spent in the cosy womb of his kitchen after her parents had died. Bill and his beloved wife had taken her under their wing, the whole town had, in fact, ensuring she’d always felt loved. Cheering her on through her school exams then later welcoming her back with open arms when finally she’d got her nursing degree.
Lying to Bill wasn’t an option.
‘I was going to tell him how I felt tonight,’ Clara whispered. ‘I knew he was seeing Abby, but I really didn’t think it was that serious. I thought she was just another girlfriend, that she’d move on in a couple of weeks and things would be back to normal, and now it would seem that they’re getting engaged.’
‘She hasn’t said yes yet,’ Bill pointed out.
‘Oh, she will,’ Clara said ruefully. ‘And deep down I know that it’s right. They love each other, they’re really well suited. It’s just so hard to take it all in…’
‘Oh, Clara.’ Bill lay back on his pillow as she struggled to hold it together.
‘I’m sorry, Bill, I’m supposed to be cheering you up, not landing all of this on you.’
‘I wouldn’t have it any other way,’ Bill said gently. ‘Things will get better for you Clara. When my Raelene died I thought my life was over. I never thought I’d be happy again, didn’t care if I lived or died. And now look at me. I’ve got a grandchild on the way, I’m having an operation that will give me another decade. And you know what? I reckon once this op is over, once I’m back home, on a good day I’ll even be able to say that I’m truly happy, and you’ll be able to say it one day, too. It won’t always hurt this much.’
‘I know,’ Clara said bravely, then changed her mind. ‘Actually, I don’t know, but I really hope so, Bill.’
‘Hey, there’s plenty more fish in the sea…’
‘Bill…’ Clara let out a rueful laugh. ‘As I just said to Timothy, there’s no ocean for miles here, there’s really not that many fish to choose
