question hit a little closer to home than Scarlet cared for. Best friends saw too much sometimes. “It’s not my baby, April, and Mason and I aren’t reconciling. I know this whole thing seems like a terrible twist of fate that will reunite us and give us the child we’ve always wanted, but that’s just not the case. Mason made it very clear to me that this is all for show, to put Jay at ease.”
She sat back in her chair with a sigh. “Of course I love Luna as my niece, but no... I’m not going to let myself fall head over heels for her when Mason is her sole legal guardian. I basically have no rights in the matter. When he decides the time is right, he’s going to take her away from me and carry on with his life. I’ll be alone again, and brokenhearted, because he decided I need to go out and have a child of my own. No.” She shook her head. “I’ll do what he asked of me, but I can’t let myself get attached to another child that isn’t mine. That’s why I refused to try adoption a second time after we lost Evan. I couldn’t go through that again.”
“So there’s no chance whatsoever that you and Mason will call off the divorce and raise Luna together?” April looked at Scarlet with big, hopeful eyes.
Scarlet understood. It was a beautiful fantasy to have. They really had had a marriage that made other people jealous. They’d started out their careers together, had common goals and interests, and aesthetically they were a match made on a Hollywood film set. Losing Mason had been doubly hard because she really didn’t think she’d ever find another relationship like that one. It was one of a kind and she hated to let it go, but she couldn’t figure out how to hold on to it either.
She’d once held that kind of hope for her marriage, but she’d realized she was being naive. “No, April. While it might seem like our divorce was all about kids, it isn’t that simple and adding a baby won’t fix everything. Mason and I are not getting back together no matter how things might look.”
* * *
Mason’s gaze kept drifting from the white casket covered in pink roses to his wife and niece beside him. The service had been beautifully done. He was surprised, really, considering they had everything arranged for Jay and nothing arranged for Rachel. Fortunately, the funeral home had handled most of the details, and they’d purchased their plots months before after Jay’s grim diagnosis.
To Mason’s other side, Jay was seated in his wheelchair. It was hard for Mason to look at his younger brother. He was like a shriveled skeleton inside the black suit he’d worn last when he was fifty pounds heavier. A hospice nurse had come out with him to check on his oxygen and make sure he didn’t overdo it. Even though it was July, he had a blanket over his lap and a pink rose clutched in his hand. All things considered, he was holding together pretty well.
Mason wished he could say the same about himself. On the outside he looked calm and collected enough, but on the inside he was a bundle of raw nerves. Just a glance at Jay or Scarlet was enough to set him on edge, and for very different reasons. He’d even done a shot of whiskey to get him through the service.
Every time he looked at his brother, he thought about Luna and the future he never expected. Being a father was an idea he’d taken for granted until it couldn’t happen. Once he realized it wasn’t in the cards for him, he’d let it go along with his marriage. The concept of being Luna’s father once Jay was gone—and a single father at that—scared the hell out of him. Would he make the same choices Jay would’ve made for his daughter? Would he screw the kid up by levying the same unrealistic expectations of perfection on her the way his parents had done to him? That was the vicious cycle, right?
Each time he turned away from his brother, he caught a whiff of Scarlet’s perfume on the air. He knew the scent well, having bought her a bottle of it every year on her birthday for the last nine years. The scent reminded him of her hair spilled across pillowcases, of his lips pressed against the hollow of her throat, tasting her pulse, and of her wrapped in nothing but a towel getting ready for the day.
He’d been desperate when he’d asked Scarlet to play house with him for a few weeks. Now a part of him regretted it. Leaving her the first time had been hard enough, but it was something he knew he had to do. Being back under the same roof might make it impossible to leave a second time. But he had no other choice. He couldn’t give her what she needed, despite what she might say to the contrary.
Glancing over at her, he saw Scarlet weeping silent tears as she clutched baby Luna in her arms. They’d decided that their time as a reunited couple needed to start at the service so there was one less worry on Jay’s mind. Once it was over, Mason would unload his stuff from the back of his Range Rover into the beach house. He’d also packed a bag at Jay’s house with Luna’s clothes and some toys. He’d move the rest of her belongings directly into his new place once the time came.
Thankfully, along with her stuff, Mason was also able to bring over Luna’s nanny, Carroll. She was happy to stay with the baby and keep her job, which would ease the transition for everyone involved. It would also give Luna a familiar caregiver when her whole world was changing around her.
Who was going to help Mason as his whole world changed around him?
The pastor ended his short graveside sermon and began the commitment prayer. “We thank You for Rachel’s life here on this earth, and we recognize that the body that lies before us is not Rachel, but rather the house in which she lived. We acknowledge that Rachel is rejoicing, even now, in Your very presence, enjoying the blessings of Heaven. Father, we commit her body to the earth, from which our bodies were originally created, and we rejoice in the fact that her spirit is even now with You. We thank You, Father, that in the days, weeks and months to come, these realities and the abiding presence of Your Spirit will especially strengthen, sustain and comfort Rachel’s friends and family until they can join her there. In Jesus’s name, amen.”
The pastor gestured to Jay and the nurse rolled him forward to place his rose on top of her casket. Jay placed his palm flat against the smooth white wood and closed his eyes. “I’ll see you soon, baby.”
Once he moved back, the pastor thanked everyone for coming and the crowd started to disperse so the team could complete the burial. With Jay needing to return immediately to the hospital, the family had opted against a wake, so it was done. Mason was relieved it was over, even though the next step he had to take might be even harder.
Mason squeezed Jay’s shoulder. “We’ll bring Luna to see you in a day or two, okay?”
His brother nodded and turned to the ambulance that had pulled into the cemetery. “My ride is here. Take good care of her.”
Mason, Scarlet and Luna stood by the grave as the crowd cleared away and Jay was taken back to the hospital. When they could stall no longer, he turned back to her. “I guess we’d better go. I’ve got a lot of stuff to bring in and get settled.”
Scarlet wiped her damp cheeks and nodded. Luna had fallen asleep in her arms. They walked to the car like the family everyone thought they were, loading Luna into her car seat and climbing into the front together.
Driving down the highway back to Malibu with Scarlet in the passenger seat and a baby in the back was a moment that brought back uncomfortable memories for Mason. It felt so easy, so normal, and yet it reminded him of Evan and their short stint as parents.
He’d thought they had a great marriage. He’d had no doubt that they would be together forever. They complemented each other well, had common interests and were very compatible in their day-to-day lives. He enjoyed spoiling Scarlet. He could tell her anything without feeling judged. It was a far cry from the family he’d grown up in, where his father was always needling at him to push harder and do
