Nothing seemed to work—either behaving outrageously in order to attract attention, or pretending that he didn’t exist. Whatever she tried made little difference. The most reaction she ever got from him was a bored, ‘Don’t be more of a brat than you can help, Courtney.’
She simmered with loathing of him, and it wasn’t helped by Robin undergoing a type of adolescent hero-worship for him, making her feel more isolated than ever.
That passed, of course, and as she herself moved through her own adolescence towards womanhood, she found reluctantly that her feelings towards Blair were becoming more ambivalent. But his abrupt arrivals were always a shock, setting her at odds with herself, overturning her fragile girl’s poise. She had come to think of him as a kind of bird of ill omen, hovering and dangerous on the corner of her life, and later, as that life had crashed in ruins about her, she had realised how accurate that perception of him had been.
But he had been the sole shadow in the last golden summer before everything had slid so suddenly and frighteningly away. She’d been having such a wonderful time. She’d been reckless with invitations to stay and Hunters Court had been filled with her school friends. Patterson who looked after the grounds had fixed up a badminton net on the lawn at the side of the house, and they’d played desultory matches in the heat, then lounged with cold drinks beside the small lake, talking about everything and anything—their forthcoming examinations, their dreams and aspirations.
Then Blair had arrived, and all that closeness and empathy had been shattered. She saw it happen, saw the other girls looking at him, sidelong glances at first and then quite openly. Saw the focus of attention slip away making them all not so much friends as rivals. Saw him spoil everything.
Once again she felt that she was the outsider, and she hated him for it. It made no difference that he never actively encouraged any of them. He was civil, but aloof, and not even the most blatantly flirtatious advances did anything to penetrate the wall of reserve he seemed to have built round himself. One by one they all tried to get through to him and failed, and were resigned or sulky or despondent according to temperament.
Courtney didn’t know which side she despised the most, or even why. She sat miserably listening to the electric silence which descended whenever Blair appeared, watching them watching him, and realising that charmed circle of girlhood had gone for ever.
Then she found they were watching her and speculating, and that was the worst of all.
‘You never mentioned him,’ Anna Harper said one afternoon, when they were all by the lake. ‘Not once.’
Courtney shrugged, feeling awkward. ‘It never occurred to me.’ She tried to explain several times that to her he was simply Blair, Uncle Geoffrey’s nephew, and a thorn in her flesh, but she knew they hadn’t believed her.
‘He behaves as if we’re invisible!’ someone else wailed.
Kate Lydyard, who was trailing her fingers in the water, smiled, her eyes going slyly to Courtney. Kate was the oldest in the group, already eighteen, with an extra confidence and self-assurance. Courtney had always admired her, and her cool blonde good looks, but since Kate had been at Hunters Court, she had discovered she didn’t really like her very much.
Now Kate moved her hand sharply, sending a spray of glistening droplets into the air. She said softly, ‘That’s because he’s waiting for Courtney.’
They were all looking at her, suspicious and envious at the same time.
She said sharply, ‘Then he’ll wait for ever.’ Her voice rang clearly through the warm afternoon. She saw a movement on the terrace and shading her eyes realised that he was there. She could have screamed with vexation, but consoled herself with the reflection that he was too far away to have overheard the entire conversation, so that her final comment, if he’d picked it up, would have been meaningless. At least she hoped so.
But later when they met in the drawing room for tea, she wasn’t too sure. Each time she glanced up, Blair seemed to be watching her, and while there was amusement in his eyes, there was speculation too, which she found frankly alarming. She was beginning to wonder whether her words of angry refutal to Kate hadn’t lit some kind of slow fuse, and ask herself what she could do to evade the inevitable explosion.
But as time passed and nothing happened, she told herself on a rising tide of relief that she had been mistaken, that she’d read altogether too much into the situation.
Blair left the next day, and by the end of the week her party had broken up too, somewhat to her relief, she realised unhappily. The golden days had taken on an acid tinge, although some of the old camaraderie had returned following Blair’s departure. Things would improve, she thought optimistically, when they all met again at school in September.
A few days later, she had been in the rose garden cutting some blooms for her father’s study, when some sixth sense warned her that she was no longer alone. She looked warily over her shoulder and saw Blair standing in the arched gateway watching her. She met the cool, assessing glance he sent her with an uneasiness she was incapable of concealing.
‘What a charming picture.’ He walked unhurriedly towards her. ‘The young English maiden among the roses.’
There was nothing she could take exception to or even deny in his actual words, but the jibing tone in which they were uttered was a different matter. She turned away deliberately, flushing with annoyance, totally on edge. He’d never sought her out like this before—so why …?
She went on cutting roses and putting them in her basket, almost at random, only too aware of Blair at her shoulder, wishing there was something other than the murmur of the bees to break the tension of the silence between them.
At least he said, ‘How old are you, Courtney?’
She shot him a startled look. ‘Seventeen.’
‘Then I’m a year out,’ he said. ‘I’d have said sixteen.’
‘In other words, I’m young for my age. Thank you so much!’
‘That’s not what I meant at all,’ he returned. ‘There’s a well-known saying about being sixteen which I’d say applies to you. And before you start bristling, it has nothing to do with the age of consent,’ he added, his mouth twisting in the mockery which always caught her on the raw.
‘I know the saying you mean,’ she said tightly. ‘It’s a bit old hat these days, surely. We are in the nineteen-eighties.’
‘Only just. Although what difference the decade we live in is supposed to make I fail to understand. If it was the year 2001, it wouldn’t make you any less nervous. And it confirms what I just said.’
‘What do you mean?’
He took the basket from her slackening grip and put it down on the gravelled walk. The hazel eyes weren’t laughing now. They were curiously intent, and Courtney swallowed, aware of the oddest aching sensation in the pit of her stomach.
He said quietly, ‘That this has never happened to you before.’
His mouth on hers was warm and firm and incredibly sensuous. She stiffened instinctively, her hands coming up in open panic to thrust him away, but he made no attempt to draw her into a closer embrace. And before she could marshal her thoughts sufficiently to decide on some form of protest, the kiss was over.
‘How
