Afraid To Lose Her. Syndi Powell

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Afraid To Lose Her - Syndi Powell Hope Center Stories

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lived in since she was six. Thirty years later, her parents still stayed despite offers from her and her brothers to help them move into a condo or a smaller house that wouldn’t require as much upkeep. They turned them down, assuring them that they weren’t that old yet. Sherri doubted that they’d ever admit when things became too much.

      A rap on the passenger-side window startled her. She pressed the button for it to lower and her baby brother Hugo stuck his head inside. “Mom wants to know if you’re coming in or if you plan on eating your dinner out here.”

      Sarcasm from her little brother? It must be a normal day in the Lopez household. “Ha-ha. I’ll be right in.”

      Hugo peered at her, frowning. “You okay?”

      She nodded and got out on the driver’s side. She looked at him over the roof of her car. “Yep. How’s college?”

      “Don’t remind me right now. Final exams next week. I’ve been studying so much, this is the first time I’ve been outdoors in the last three days.”

      “And graduation a week after that, don’t forget.” She walked around and put her left arm around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. “We’re so proud of you. Our baby is finally growing up.”

      She ruffled his hair, and he pushed her away. “Knock it off.” He ran the rest of the short walk up to the house and opened the front door. “She’s finally here. Can we eat now? I’m starving.”

      Mama walked into the living room and waved with her spatula to Sherri as she entered the house. “Hi, mija. Can you see if Abuela is ready for dinner? She’s watching her stories in her bedroom.”

      “Sure.” Sherri walked down the hallway to the room that had once belonged to her until she’d moved out at eighteen and joined the army. She knocked softly on the door then opened it. “Abuela, dinner is ready.”

      “Mi joya, you’re home.” Abuela groaned as she pushed off her rocking chair and approached her. She pulled Sherri’s face down to her level and gave her a loud, smacking kiss. “Tu madre tells me you got shot.”

      “It was nothing.” She held up her right arm and showed off the padding under the blouse she wore. “I’ll be healed in no time.”

      Abuela nodded then put her arm through Sherri’s. “If you say it is true, it is. Now tell me more about your young man.”

      Sherri wanted to roll her eyes. Her grandmother never gave up on this idea that she should be married. “I don’t have one, Abuela, and you know that. I’m free as a bird.”

      “Even birds make nests with their mates.”

      They slowly walked down the hall and into the living room, where Sherri’s father stared at the television screen. He muttered a curse in Spanish at the baseball players then looked up at Sherri. “Those Tigers are going to put me in an early grave.”

      Sherri laughed and kissed her father on his cheek. “They lose just to annoy you.”

      “Bah.” He flipped the television off with the remote. “Let’s go to the table before your madre chases at me with her spatula.”

      Dinner seemed quieter than their usual family dinners, but without her other two brothers and their families, less than half were present. Or maybe it was because Sherri stayed silent, lost in her thoughts. She looked up several times from her dinner plate to find Mama watching her, and she smiled as if to tell her that everything was okay.

      After dinner Sherri volunteered to wash the dishes with Mama. Thirty years, and they still hadn’t bought a dishwasher. Maybe she’d buy it as a Christmas gift and save her hands from early wrinkles. She thrust her hands into the sudsy water and pulled out a plate then swiped it with a cloth before handing it to Mama.

      “Something on your mind, mija? I figured you wanted to talk to me when you volunteered to wash dishes.”

      Sherri nodded and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Now that she was ready to tell her mother what was going on, the words got stuck and wouldn’t come out. She took a deep breath and washed a glass, wiping it several times before she could turn and face her mother. “Would you come with me to the doctor tomorrow?”

      Mama put the plate in the cupboard. “Of course. Are you sick?”

      “I don’t know.” She dropped her head and let it hang while she tried to say words without turning them into sobs. “They found a lump, and they tested it, and now this doctor wants to tell me the news in person.” She raised her eyes to her mother’s tearful ones. “I’m scared, Mama. What if he says it’s cancer? What am I gonna do?”

      Mama opened her arms, and Sherri fell into them. She rubbed her back in slow circles as Sherri held on tight. “It’ll be okay, mija. No matter what it is, you’ll be fine.”

      Somehow with her mother saying it, Sherri felt slightly better. Maybe it would be okay.

      * * *

      DEZ PLACED THE cardboard cup of coffee from the diner down the street in front of Sherri, who kept her gaze on her computer monitor. “You look like hell.”

      She glanced up at him then snatched the coffee. “Thanks. I couldn’t sleep last night, so I used my time to look at the drug raid from several angles.” She turned the screen so that he could see her notes. She pointed to a list. “These are the people who knew the details about the raid. One of them had to spill the beans to someone in the drug ring.”

      He noted she’d put their names on the list. “Well, you can scratch us off since I know we didn’t tell anyone. Not even the captain knew the details about the raid until after it was over.”

      “I’m trying to be thorough, so our names stay.” She took a long draw from the cup of coffee and sighed. “We’re missing something. I know it, but I can’t figure out what.”

      “You’re sure this list is inclusive? What about the DEA’s informant? Where did they get their intel from?” He sipped from his own coffee and took a seat on the edge of Sherri’s desk. “How do we know that their source was reliable?”

      “The DEA isn’t talking right now, so we’re in the dark.” She shook her head. “They lost agents in that raid, so they’re holding their cards close to their chests.” She pressed Save on the computer and pushed away from her desk. “Something doesn’t seem right about this whole thing.”

      “You’re thinking a mole?”

      “I don’t know yet for sure, but it does seem like someone wanted them to know we were coming. If we had kept our planned time, they probably wouldn’t have been there. But then the lead agent bumped up our arrival and...”

      “And they had to shoot their way out.” He noticed the dark smudges under her eyes, and something inside him reared its head. He wanted desperately to protect her from whatever this was. To keep her safe. “What time is your doctor appointment?”

      “Four. I came in early to make up my shorter day. I told Mama I’d pick her up at three thirty.”

      She looked so small, so scared. He’d never seen her like this. She was so confident, so assured. But this same woman seemed to have shrunken into herself. He put a hand on her shoulder. “If

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