can see that...now.”
Back then, though, things hadn’t been so clear, and he’d seemed like the villain in their particular tale.
To her, anyway. Even now the memory of those days pinched at her heart like a pair of surgical clamps, causing a strange numbness to come over her.
But not so numb that it staunched the weird waterworks sensation that was inching its way back onto her radar. God, she wished things could have been different between them. They hadn’t been, though. So she needed to stop looking at him with glasses that magnified those old hurts. “That’s all in the past, where I think it should probably stay.”
He stood. “You’re right. It is. I just wanted to stop by and say hello.”
“I’m glad you did. It was really good to see you again.”
Good and sad and filled with all kinds of regrets.
He walked away, leaving her on her own once again. Only this time she was ready. All decisions about whether or not to have children would be made by her. And as soon as she got home, she was going to act on them. Seeing him again had just brought home all her reasons for wanting a child, and that longing she’d had as she’d carried Grace over those nine months.
All she needed to do was select a sperm donor and she’d be ready to start a family of her own.
For a few brief seconds she’d wanted to throw that letter from the clinic in his face, the way he’d thrown his decision about not having children in hers, but what would it solve?
Nothing.
She didn’t want to hurt Tucker. She just wanted a baby. Not to replace Grace. That would never happen. She would always love her little girl and be grateful for the time they’d had together. At times, Grace’s loss still caused her lungs to seize in the middle of the night as she lay there alone in bed. Any tiny sound in the dark would make her sit up, sure she’d heard a familiar cry. Wishing with all her might that she had heard that cry. And when she realized no one was there, Kady would be the one who cried.
Surely her daughter wouldn’t have wanted her to be stuck in limbo like this, never moving forward. She’d like to think Grace would have wanted her to go on living, to love and be loved. And she was finally ready to share that love. With another baby.
She tried to focus on that and block out the negative thoughts that were steadily creeping into her head.
And the best way to hold those at bay was to stay as far away from Dr. Tucker Stevenson as possible.
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