CHAPTER TWO
SHE DIDN’T MEAN it like that.
Obviously she didn’t mean it like that, but the idea was in his head now, the thought of his body buried deep inside hers flooding his senses and driving him crazy.
He closed the kitchen door, put the tea towel back into the freezer, switched the kettle on again and then dropped his head against the cupboard above and growled with frustration.
What was wrong with him today? First the kiss, now this?
For the first time since Juliet, he wanted a woman. Not just any woman, but Livvy, apparently, and the thought wouldn’t leave him alone.
All he could think about was peeling away her clothes and kissing every inch of her, touching her, stroking her skin, feeling the warmth of her body against his, the hitch in her breath as he touched her more intimately, the heat as he buried himself inside her—and he didn’t know how to deal with it.
Should he be feeling like this? It had been two years—two years and a week, to be exact—but was that long enough? He didn’t think so, but his body didn’t seem to agree with him.
What do I do, Jules? Where do I go from here? I’m not ready for this...
He heard a sound in the living room and opened the door. Livvy was limping across the room, hopping from one piece of furniture to the next and then leaning heavily on it as she hobbled.
‘Where are you going?’
‘I thought I’d go and lie down for a bit, then maybe pack?’
‘Let me give you a hand.’
‘I can manage.’
Stubborn woman.
‘Of course you can, but only until you run out of furniture.’
He reached her side, took her arm and slung it round his neck and wrapped his other arm round her waist, being careful of her ribs.
‘OK?’
She nodded, and as she took a step forward there was a sharp crack and she gasped.
‘Was that your ankle?’
‘Mmm. Ouch.’
They looked down and she flexed it gingerly. ‘Oh. It feels better—like something was hung up.’
‘Try putting some weight on it, but carefully.’
She did, and nodded. ‘Better. It’s still very sore, but that definitely feels better.’
‘OK, well, don’t push your luck and don’t try and weight-bear on it unnecessarily until you’ve had it X-rayed. Let’s get you to your room.’
When they reached the side of the bed he let go carefully and she eased away from him, taking all that wonderful warmth and softness with her. Just as well. Except that instead of sitting down, as he’d expected, she looked up at him, slid her arms round him and hugged him, bringing all that warmth and softness back into intimate contact with his starving, grateful, desperate body.
‘Thank you,’ she murmured.
His arms closed around her without his permission. ‘What for?’ he asked, his voice a little strangled.
‘Just being you. You’ve been great the last few days. It’s been so much fun—well, till I wrecked it.’
‘You didn’t wreck it.’
She tipped her head back and their eyes met. ‘Yes, I did. Stop being nice, Matt. I know I was an idiot.’
He laughed softly and kissed her without thinking.
Just a brief kiss, nothing passionate or romantic, but still the sort of kiss you’d give a lover, a partner. Someone you were intimate with. And he wasn’t intimate with Livvy, and wasn’t going to be. He wasn’t ready yet, and he had other commitments that had to take priority. Would always have to take priority.
So he straightened up, trying to distance himself when all he wanted was to topple her backwards onto the bed and make love to her, but her eyes had widened, and after an endless moment she reached up, pulled his head gently back down to hers and kissed him.
Properly, this time, her lips parting, her tongue tangling with his, reeling him in, sending his senses into freefall.
He wanted her.
Every cell in his body was screaming for it, for her, for the heat, the passion, the closeness. He could feel her body pressed against his, feel his roaring to life, the ache, the longing in both of them as he kissed her back with all the pent-up need of two years of loneliness and putting himself last.
And then abruptly she let him go and sat down on the bed out of reach.
‘Is that your phone?’
Phone?
The ringtone was almost drowned out by his pounding heart, but it dragged him savagely back to reality.
‘Um—yeah. Yeah, it is.’
He pulled it out of his pocket, slightly dazed, took a step back and turned away, clearing his throat and groping for a normal voice.
‘Hi, Sam. Are you done?’
‘Yes—we’ve just reached the track. How’s Livvy?’
Kissing me...
‘She’s fine. I don’t think it’s broken. I’ll come and get you.’ He put the phone back in his pocket and turned back to her without meeting her eyes. ‘That was Sam,’ he said unnecessarily. ‘I’m going to get them. Will you be OK?’
‘Of course I will. You go. I’ll see you later.’
He nodded, his heart pounding, his body screaming for more, his head all over the place.
What was going on with him? How could he want her so badly?
He had no idea, but he didn’t have time to deal with it now, and maybe never. Stifling regret, he picked the keys up and walked out.
They loaded the car after lunch, did a final sweep of the lodge for missed possessions and set off on the six-hour drive back to Suffolk. She was in the front beside Ed to give her room to stretch her foot out, and Matt was behind her with Sam and Beth, with Lucy, Dan and Vicky in the rear.
She sighed quietly, and Ed shot her a searching look.
‘Are you OK?’
She nodded. ‘Yes, I’m fine. Well, apart from feeling guilty for getting the best seat and ruining everyone’s day.’
‘You do a lot of that. Feeling guilty.
