She threw the petals into the sky and turned, a smile on her face for the picture she’d thought he was about to take. At first the confusion returned. Her eyes searched for where she’d thought he’d be as the petals swirled around them. Then, as they were carried up and away by the wind, her gaze lowered, settling on him.
She sucked in her breath and then, on an exhale, said his name. The surprise had turned into something deeper, more meaningful, as she did. And suddenly all the fear, all the uncertainty disappeared.
It was going to be perfect.
That was the last thing he thought before telling her why he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
* * *
No, he thought as he closed his eyes briefly. There had been no hesitation when Rosa had accepted his proposal.
But hadn’t his mother shown him that he would need to take responsibility for others at some time in his life? So why hadn’t he realised Rosa might have needed that from him too?
But now that he thought about it, he wondered if it was because he had been responsible when it came Rosa. He’d promised her mother that he would look after her. And, since he’d loved her so damn much, marriage had seemed like the perfect way to do it.
But maybe that had been his mistake.
Or maybe he was the mistake...
‘Okay,’ he said curtly, ripping himself out of the web his memories had caught him in. ‘Do you want another drink?’
She blinked at him, and then silently nodded and handed him her glass. He deliberately brushed his fingers against hers as he took it, and saw the slight shake of her hand as she drew it back to her lap.
He turned away from her, satisfaction pouring through him. Whatever it was that she was going through—whatever it was that they were going through—he hadn’t made up their attraction. And that attraction had come from their feelings for one another.
Perhaps he’d made one too many mistakes with Rosa. Heaven knew he had with his mother, so it might not have been different with his wife. But at least he could make sure Rosa didn’t forget that they were drawn to one another. Something neither of them had ever been able to deny.
And then what? an inner voice asked as he poured their drinks. Would they just become hyperaware of their attraction, since their feelings were seemingly out of bounds, and then let it fizzle out between them?
There was no way that was happening. And if they acted on it...what would that mean for him? For them? Would she just walk away from him again? Would he just let her go?
An uncomfortable feeling stirred in his stomach and he walked back to her, setting her glass down on the table to avoid any more touching. He had no idea what he wanted to achieve with her. With his marriage. And he’d never thought he would be in the position to have to worry about it.
He’d thought he’d done everything right in his life. He’d looked after a mother who hadn’t cared about looking after herself. About looking after him. He’d got a stable job. Succeeded in it. He’d fallen in love—though it had been unplanned—and he’d married.
And still everything had gone wrong.
Though, if he was being honest with himself, perhaps that had started when his mother had been diagnosed with cancer and he’d realised the extent of his mistakes.
Now, the fear that had grown in the past four months pulsed in his chest. Had him facing the fact that everyone in his life who was supposed to love him had left him. His mother. His father. And now Rosa...
He couldn’t deny that he was the problem any more.
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