would slam into her, stopping her in her tracks.
When the pain subsided, just a little, she was left feeling abandoned, so damn alone. She was able to wrangle grief back into its cage, but those other feelings always lingered, casually snacking on her soul.
Could anyone blame her for pushing people away? She loved hard and she loved deep, giving all that she had. Sometime in the future, hopefully a long time from now, she’d have to face losing her grandfather Gus. Losing him, she hoped, would be easier than losing her parents, Gemma and Sarah. They’d all died way before their times, but hopefully her healthy and fit grandfather would live until he was a hundred and slip off in his sleep after a life well lived. She could live with that—it was the circle of life—and unlike before, she wouldn’t feel abandoned.
Alex flipped the program over and traced Daniel’s gorgeous face with the tip of her finger. Although she was right to put some distance between them, she still ached for him for him with every fiber of her being. Warmth pooled through her as she remembered the way he kissed her, the way his clever hands would stroke her body, the rasp of his stubble, the play of hard muscles under her hands.
The growl of his voice against her mouth, painting her skin with sinfully sexy words...
Tonight is all about making you weep as I pleasure you...
Just feeling your eyes on me makes me so hard.
You’re going to pass out from satisfaction...
Daniel was a master of the art of talking dirty, using words and phrases that upped the sexy factor by 1000 percent. Then he lived up to his words with his skillful touch and used his mouth like a Jedi Master.
She missed him...
No, her body missed him. Her body missed him a whole bunch...
But stepping away from Daniel had been a wise move and one she’d make again. Her self-protection instinct had been carefully, meticulously honed and was now scalpel sharp. Nobody would slice and dice her again.
Alex shoved the program under the rest of her papers and straightened. Returning to her list, she lifted the plastic cover off the nearest platter and reached for a doughnut. She groaned as the treat touched her tongue, sighing at the prefect combination of fat and sugar.
God, so good. Alex chewed, swallowed and chewed again, polishing off the doughnut in three bites. She reached for another and it was halfway to her mouth when she heard a horrified gasp from the doorway.
“What the hell are you doing, Slade?” Rachel demanded, hands on her slim hips, brown eyes narrowed.
Alex pulled off a piece and chewed. Swallowing, she lifted her eyebrows at the astonished look on Rachel’s face. What was her problem? “Um, eating a doughnut? Freshly made, courtesy of Amanda Battle.”
“Actually, Jillian from the pie shop made them, but that’s neither here nor there.” Rachel stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. “Why are you eating them?”
Was that a trick question? “Because they are good?”
Rachel scratched her forehead, still looking confused. “Alex, I haven’t seen you eat sugar in four years. You don’t eat junk food, ever.”
Alex looked at the doughnut in her hand, puzzled. Rachel was right, she never ate junk food and very infrequently ate carbs. So why on earth was she eating one now? And, knowing that, why was she unable to throw it in the trash?
Alex popped the last of the doughnut into her mouth and contemplated her actions. Was she finally losing it? Was the stress of organizing the bachelor auction, breaking up with Daniel and trying to work through the job offer she’d had from Houston finally getting to her?
“Alex, are you okay?”
“It’s just a doughnut, Rach. Okay, two little doughnuts,” Alex retorted. Then she reached for a paper napkin and wiped the powdered sugar off her fingers. “My sugar levels are probably low. I just needed a boost.”
“I’d believe that if I didn’t see the way you refused coffee this morning, wrinkling your nose at the smell. And last night you drank some chamomile tea.”
“I had indigestion.”
“You loathe chamomile tea,” Rachel pointed out.
Was her best friend trying to make a point? Because if she was, she was taking a hell of a long time to get to it. “You’ve obviously got something to say, Rachel, so why don’t you spit it out so I can get back to work?”
“Ooh, grumpy,” Rachel quipped, stepping forward to grip Alex’s biceps with her hands. “Honey, I think you are pregnant.”
Alex had never thought it possible that she could feel like she was burning up from the inside, as well as feeling soul-deep cold. “Okay, that’s simply not funny.”
“Am I laughing?” Rachel asked, her expression serious. “Alex, having been through this myself, I can spot a pregnancy at fifty paces. You, my friend, are pregnant.”
“Stop saying that!” Alex hissed, panic closing her throat. “I can’t be! I had my period...”
Rachel lifted her eyebrows, patiently waiting for an answer.
“Give me a sec, dammit! I have to think!” Alex pulled her phone from the back pocket of her jeans and clicked on her calendar app. She always kept a record of her cycle and she’d show Rachel that she was talking out of her hat. Alex flipped through dates, didn’t see anything and flipped back a month. Oh man, there was no denying it. She was late.
“Apart from eating junk food, has anything else changed? Have you felt nauseous, tired?”
“I threw up a couple of weeks back, felt nauseous once last week and I’m tired because I’ve been organizing this damn function. I can’t be pregnant... Maybe I have a bug! It’s far too early for me to have any symptoms of pregnancy anyway.”
That was the answer, she had a bug, had picked up a virus. Phew!
“It’s not a disease, Alex,” Rachel patiently replied. “And everyone is different.”
“Oh God. Oh God.”
Rachel’s grip on her arms tightened. “Breathe, honey. Let’s think about this logically. Did Daniel use condoms? Are you on birth control?”
“You know I’ve been seeing Daniel?” Alex demanded. “Who else knows? Does Gus? Oh crap!”
“It was a guess, which you just confirmed,” Rachel replied, her voice low and smooth. “So, condoms?”
“Yes, dammit. We are responsible adults who don’t make juvenile errors.” Alex bent over, covered her face with her hands and dropped to her haunches. “But there was one time...he pulled out and then put on a condom. God! No! I can’t be pregnant, Rach. I can’t!”
“I think there’s a good possibility that you are.” Rachel ran a gentle hand over Alex’s hair. “Alex, just breathe. In and out. Good girl.”
Alex
