But as alike as we are physically, our personalities don’t always mesh.”
“Why did you not live at the beach house?”
“I got tired of butting heads with my father over the business. Jonathan had a knack for handling him with kid gloves. Dad and I only yelled at each other. Several years ago I bought an investment property at a premier golf community north of the city. I was the one who would wine and dine clients. Play a few rounds with them on the course. I liked being outdoors, even if golf wasn’t really my thing. But I closed deals and grew the business.”
“Who has done that while you’ve been gone?”
It was a simple question. Not meant to inflict pain. But it hit at the heart of his guilt. “I don’t know.” Fiona hadn’t been the only one he hurt when he’d hared off to Europe. He’d left behind his family and the shipping business and cut all contact. He’d had his reasons. In retrospect, though, he honestly didn’t know if he’d done the right thing.
Fiona moved restlessly. “The beach is lovely, Hartley. I really do need to get home, though.”
“I promised you explanations. It’s late. I don’t suppose I could sleep on your sofa?” He threw it out there hopefully. Fiona’s little house represented the peace and comfort he had lost in this last year.
“No,” she said bluntly. Without another word, she started up the beach toward the gate in the high brick wall.
“Fair enough.” He loped up the incline and scooped her into his arms. It was a tougher slog through the loose sand this way, but he persevered. He needed to hold her.
Fiona didn’t fight him. As soon as they were back at the car, though, she insisted on wriggling out of his embrace. After smoothing her hair and brushing the sand from her feet, she put on her sexy sandals.
Then she stood, hands on her hips, and watched him re-dress. “You don’t owe me explanations. I told you that.”
He rounded the car and cupped her face in his hands. Lightly. Gently. “I want to tell you, Fee. And in the spirit of honesty, I’d like to sleep with you again.”
“Sleep?”
She had him there. “Sex,” he muttered. Even to his own ears, he sounded like a jerk. But he wouldn’t dress it up. He couldn’t offer her anything more. His life was total chaos. Besides, Fiona would demand full-on honesty and intimacy from any man who shared her life for the long haul. That wasn’t him.
Her expression was mutinous. In the glow of the security light, the stubborn tilt to her chin was obvious. “Sex isn’t the answer to all your problems, Hartley.”
“Maybe not, but it would be damned good, and if you’re honest, you’ll agree. I know I messed up. I won’t do that to you again.”
“How can I believe you?” Her low laugh held a hint of dismay. “It’s a painful cliché, but I’m a kid who came through the foster system. Never got adopted. I have a few abandonment issues. Your recent behavior hasn’t helped.”
How many women would have the guts to be so vulnerable? He had a lot to answer for and no clear idea how to fix the messes he had created. “I want to kiss you, Fee,” he muttered. “But I’m trying my damnedest to respect your boundaries.”
Tears glittered in her eyelashes. She sniffed. “Shut up and do it, you aggravating man.”
It was all the invitation he needed. He wanted to snatch her up and take everything she had to give. Instead, he kissed her coaxingly, softly. Trying to tell her without words how much he regretted his missteps.
Fiona made a choked little noise in her throat and finally kissed him back. When her slender arms curled around his neck, he felt as if he had won the lottery. She was soft and perfect against his chest. He lifted her off her feet, desperate to make the kiss last.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “So sorry I hurt you.”
“You’re forgiven. Doesn’t mean I’m a glutton for punishment.” She pushed away from him after a few seconds. Reluctantly, he let her go.
“So, what now?” he asked quietly.
“Nothing. At least not today. Or even tomorrow. Twice, I let you talk your way into my bed like I was a sixteen-year-old girl with her first crush. That was my mistake. I make no guarantees, Hartley. None.”
He rolled his shoulders, realizing ruefully that he had been a little unrealistic about where this evening might lead. Even if he’d been saying all the right things, apparently his libido had jumped ahead to more titillating scenarios. “Understood,” he sighed.
He started the engine and waited for her to climb into the front seat. The ocean breeze had tousled her hair. It stood up around her head like a nimbus, making her a weary goddess...or a naughty nymph.
Which did he want? The angel or the sexy sprite? In his imagination, she was both.
He turned the radio on for the drive back to Charleston. As they pulled away from his father’s home, Hartley glanced in the rearview mirror. Jonathan stood at the top of the stairs, his arms folded across his chest.
Seeing his brother tonight had been surprisingly painful. After all this time, Hartley had been hoping Jonathan might have relented...that he had come to know instinctively that Hartley would never do anything to bring harm to his family.
But apparently, some hurts ran deep. Jonathan wasn’t wiping the slate clean. In fact, he hadn’t made any mention of the future at all. Hartley was on his own.
When they reached Fiona’s street, she gathered her purse and started to climb out as soon as the car rolled to a halt. He took her wrist. “Wait, Fee. Please.”
Her body language was wary. “What?”
“Let me take you to lunch tomorrow. I’ll tell you the whole story, start to finish.” He needed to tell someone. The secrets were gutting him. But his family was off-limits until he decided whether or not the truth would be too damaging. Fiona was a neutral player.
“I have to work tomorrow,” she said.
“Dinner, then?” He was close to begging on his knees.
She hesitated for far too long. “Fine. But if this story is as convoluted as it seems, we should eat at my house. I’ll fix spaghetti.”
“I want to treat you,” he said.
“You can’t spill salacious secrets in the middle of a crowded restaurant. Besides, this isn’t a date, Hartley. You seem to have a need to bare your soul, and I’ve agreed to listen. That’s all.”
“You’re a hard woman.”
“It’s about time, don’t you think?”
“I remember what it’s like to make love to you, Fee. You can’t blame a guy for wanting to re-create the magic.”
“The magic is gone. You killed it.”
Her words were harsh, but she was
