was ridiculous. Yes, she fantasized about having a baby, but having a real-life, flesh-and-blood man wasn’t a part of her plan. Her marriage had crumbled at the time she’d needed Andrew the most. She refused to open herself up to that sort of pain again.
Which left only one option. Artificial insemination.
She’d debated long and hard, finally choosing a donor, paying her money and scheduling an appointment at the fertilization clinic. That had been four months ago. Minor crises at work had kept making her miss the appointments and her cycle was irregular, which didn’t help either.
She was ovulating again, so she’d made another appointment. This time she refused to let anything get in her way.
“Any questions?” Rick’s gaze locked with hers. A guilty flush stained her cheeks. Could he tell she hadn’t been paying attention? Or, worse, could he tell how much his mere presence affected her?
She gathered her scattered, sleep-deprived thoughts. What had he talked about? She glanced at her notes. Oh, yes, plans for expanding their pediatric trauma prevention program into the community. She cleared her throat. “Do you need a volunteer to be on the community education committee? Because, if so, I’d like to be involved.”
“Absolutely.” Rick’s face lit up. “Naomi Horton, right?”
She nodded, feeling her heart race at the sound of her name in his deep, husky voice. Good grief, she hadn’t worked so hard to get through five years of surgical residency followed by another year as a surgical/trauma fellow to react like an adolescent the first time a gorgeous man smiled at her. She’d worked darned hard to get where she was and she wasn’t about to do anything to jeopardize her position.
“I’ve met the rest of the team over these past few days, but kept missing you. Glad to finally put a face to a name.” Rick’s tone turned serious. “Yes, the community education program is very important to our trauma recertification process. I appreciate your will ingness to help out.”
“No problem.”
“Great.” His gaze lingered on hers for a moment and she had the impression there was a hint of sadness in them before he turned and glanced over the group. “Any other questions?” He paused, waiting. “If not, we’ll call this meeting adjourned. Uh, Naomi, do you have a minute?”
Feeling like the errant student who hadn’t finished her homework, Naomi stood awkwardly to the side, allowing her colleagues to pass by on their way out of the physician conference room.
“What’s up?” she asked, striving for a distant tone. “I’m on service today in the PICU and need to get upstairs to make rounds.”
“I know, but I need a favor.” For the first time that morning, Rick appeared ill at ease.
A favor? She lifted a curious brow. “What?”
“I need someone to cover my call shift this evening.” His gaze was slightly apologetic. “I have a pressing personal issue I need to take care of. I can take over about nine o’clock or ten at the latest, if that’s all right with you?”
Nine or ten? Her heart sank. Heck no, it wasn’t all right. She had an appointment at the clinic at six and they closed at eight. Was he asking her because she was the most junior member of the group? Or because she was divorced and couldn’t possibly have a life? She stiffened her spine, not willing to be viewed as the easy mark. No way was she going to start covering all Rick’s call shifts, just because he happened to be the boss. She swallowed hard and forced a tight smile. “I’m sorry, but I have plans this evening. You’ll have to ask someone else.”
“I see.” He simply looked at her for a moment, but then slowly nodded. “I understand. I did check with the others. Debra is already post-call and she was up most of the night. Steve and Dirk are flying out to San Francisco to attend a national pediatric trauma conference. Frank and his wife are celebrating their twentieth wedding anniversary, and Chuck Lowrey is filling in for one of the general surgeons while he’s on vacation.”
Damn. That pretty much covered their entire team. But her plans were just as important as anyone else’s. More so, because every time she canceled it meant another month of waiting. Another month of postponing her dream of having a family of her own. Helplessly she lifted a shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
His smile was crooked. “It’s all right. My problem, not yours. Thanks anyway.”
She turned away, fully intending to walk out, but the way he’d accepted her decision, without pulling rank or asking specifically what her plans were, made her waver. What was his pressing personal issue? She’d heard through the grapevine that Rick wasn’t married, but that didn’t mean anything. No doubt he was in some sort of relationship. For all she knew, his plans might not be anything more than getting his girlfriend settled after their move.
Yet to be fair, he didn’t seem like the type to exaggerate his need for time off. Trauma surgeons knew being on call was a part of the job, and being in charge of the program meant you had to take call rotations like everyone else. She took one step toward the door, and then another. She stopped. Calling herself every kind of fool, she sighed and turned back to meet Rick’s faintly questioning gaze. “I’ll take your shift.”
For a moment his eyes lit up but then he shook his head. “No, I can’t ask you to cancel your plans.”
“It’s not a big deal.” Sure. No big deal, just her entire future. She stifled a sigh and forced a smile. “Really, take care of what you need to do. I’ll cover your call.”
There was a long pause, as if he were debating with himself on whether or not he should take her up on her offer. Finally he nodded. “Thanks, Naomi. And if you get slammed with patients, just give me a call and I’ll back you up. With any luck, I’ll be finished by nine.”
Usually Wednesday nights weren’t exactly big trauma nights, unless the weather was bad. Peds trauma wasn’t nearly as busy as adult trauma. She was supposed to be second call anyway, but had figured there’d be little chance of being called in to help Rick, so she’d made the appointment when she’d realized she was ovulating.
If she didn’t go to the clinic today, she wouldn’t be able to go for the rest of the week. She and the other surgeons had picked up extra shifts to cover for Steve and Dirk who were on their way to San Francisco.
Canceling her plans tonight meant she’d forgo her chance of getting pregnant this month. Just like she’d forgone her plans last month and the month before that.
Her heart squeezed in her chest. She needed to find a way to make regular appointments and keep them. Her OB doctor had warned her that conceiving would be difficult, thanks to the scar tissue she’d sustained during several bouts of endometriosis. Canceling her appointments wasn’t helping in her quest to get pregnant.
“Thanks again,” Rick said, his gaze warm with appreciation. “I owe you one.”
“Sure.” Her smile was weak. He might owe her a favor but there was no way she could ask him to provide the one thing she really wanted.
A baby.
Rick watched Naomi leave, then yanked his gaze away when he realized he was admiring her petite, yet curvy backside. He frowned and gave his head a slight shake. He wasn’t interested in women, not any more.
Not
