pleasure in his simple compliment brought back all kinds of memories for August. “Remember when we went to that carnival and got stuck on the Ferris wheel?”
She chuckled. “Don’t act like that was a rare occurrence. I think everyone in Bishop’s Gate has gotten stuck on that Ferris wheel one time or another.”
“I won’t deny that. Still—do you remember the night it was our turn?”
“Absolutely. I remember that it was pretty much the hottest night of the year.”
It had been hot. Evie had worn short jean shorts, blistering white Keds and a bright teal halter top. She’d been all smooth, tan skin and golden hair. Gorgeous. “You were the only girl who didn’t panic when the wind picked up and our seat started rocking.”
Evie leaned closer, her bare arm brushing against his…just like they had so long ago. “That’s because I was the only girl who had August Anderson Meyer’s arm around her.”
He remembered that well. Her skin had felt like satin, and there’d been enough humor in her eyes to make being stuck on the ancient ride a true adventure.
He’d kissed her, too. He’d pulled her so close that their seat had rocked quite a bit, all on its own. “That was a great night, though your parents never did push back curfew.”
Evie smiled. “They weren’t fools—they knew what we wanted to do. Jenna’s got another thing coming if she thinks she’ll ever pull one over on me.”
Back on the porch, Jenna was showing Jan a picture she’d just colored. “It’s for Daddy,” she pronounced, her voice floating toward them.
Evie visibly winced as she stared at the water once again.
“You okay?”
“Oh, sure. I’m, uh, having a tough time remembering not to care that I took the girls away from their dad—from John—for a whole month.”
“Did John not want you to come to Florida?”
She looked surprised. “He encouraged me, actually. He’s going to be gone most of the month, and he knows just how much the girls love my parents.”
“So, you and your ex still get along.”
“Well enough. He’s there for the girls whenever he can be.” Digging her toes deeper into the sand, she added, “John’s always been a good father. A very good father.”
Her defense of the guy made August seethe. She was hurting. He saw it now, and he’d heard about it from her parents. She looked worn-out and stressed, overworked and underfed. August knew her ex-husband was the reason…so why was she defending the guy? “A good father…but not a good husband?”
Gray eyes widened and a hint of a smile played around the corners of her pale pink lips. “I don’t know about that. I think he just fell out of love.”
“Did you?”
“I don’t know. Honestly, some days…some nights I wonder if I’d ever really been in love with him.” She shook her head. “I was on cruise control, you know? I went to work, I came home, I cooked dinner. On my days off I vacuumed and cleaned the house. Sometimes I remembered to wear makeup.” Quietly, she added, “Sometimes I remembered to give John my attention. Sometimes he remembered, too.”
August hated the thought of her so unhappy. “He should have helped you more.”
“It wasn’t me, it wasn’t him…it was ‘us.’ And ‘us’ wasn’t good. We made babies. We raised them together. We divided chores and shared a checkbook, but I don’t know if we ever shared a life.”
It sounded like a cop-out to August. “I can’t believe he left you and the girls.”
“He didn’t, not really. He’s nearby, he helps. He just left me.”
He hated that she so obviously thought it was her fault. August clasped her hand, unable to keep from touching her. “Evie—”
She squeezed his hand to stop his words. “At first I was devastated. But then one night when I was all alone, sipping wine and feeling sorry for myself, I remembered our honeymoon. There we were, sporting shiny gold rings. We’d just had the most amazing wedding and reception, were finally free to do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted—and I didn’t have a thing to say to him.”
Stark awareness filled her eyes as she met his gaze. “And that’s when I knew, August. Three months after our divorce, as I sat on my couch, remembering a thousand little details, I knew John had been right. We’d jumped into marriage and into grown-up life without ever jumping into love. And, as much as it pains me to admit it…that wasn’t enough. John and I, we had no passion.”
No passion.
The details of her life were hard to hear, though August had wanted to hear every bit. Back in high school, he’d had a major crush on Evie Ray. The last summer when they were together, when they thought she was pregnant, he’d fantasized about a future with her in it. When their “scare” was over, he’d been almost disappointed. Enough to think about persuading her to not go back to Texas, to attend Florida State with him.
But something had vanished between them. Once more, he’d been too unsure of himself to try and make things better. He’d felt that regret time and again through the years.
He should have done more to make her see he was worth it. That they were worth it.
“If John fell out of love, the problem was his, not yours,” he murmured, running his thumb over her knuckles.
“I guess.” Evie said the words almost wistfully, almost as if she didn’t believe him, which made August wonder just how much she’d begun to doubt herself. Did she not feel she deserved anything?
“Momma? Momma, I can’t find Neena,” Jenna announced from the patio, loud enough for everyone on the beach to know that she had a problem.
Evie dropped August’s hand like it was on fire and got to her feet just as Jenna darted down the steps to them. “Neena is Jenna’s baby doll,” Evie explained. “Any chance you saw it when you were unloading?”
August shook his head, not failing to notice the switch in her posture, the change in her voice. “I don’t remember a doll, but I don’t think I looked under the seats, either. Maybe it’s still there?”
“Maybe.”
Jenna slipped in between them. “Momma, what about Neena?”
With a wry expression, Evie ruffled her daughter’s curls. “Let’s go look in the van, sugar.” Without looking back, Evie slipped on her sandals and guided Jenna back to the house.
August picked up the half-full bottle of beer Evie had abandoned and followed, too, feeling curiously left behind as the girl jabbered and complained and Evie nodded sympathetically.
When they reached the patio, Jenna’s voice turned whiny. “I’m tired, Momma. I want Neena.”
Evie gave her a quick hug. “I know you are. We’ll find Neena
