to employ nannies…though they’ve seldom been asked to stay overnight.’ The strong mouth tightened as he spoke. ‘As soon as I come home, I’m the one in charge.’
And how, Lily thought.
‘But luckily for me I have Beatrice—or Bea—and her husband,’ he went on. ‘They live nearby. Bea used to help my wife in the house, and then with the babies as they came along. But she’s over seventy, and I don’t want to take advantage of her good nature, even though she says she loves helping out. Which she’s doing while I’m here,’ he added. ‘She and Joe move in and sleep over until I come back—the kids adore them. But—as I said—I don’t want to wear them out.’ He leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs. ‘It was a good job we hadn’t any more offspring, because three are about as many as I can handle… We’d intended having a much larger family, but—well—fate had other ideas,’ he said.
‘Well—you may yet have more one day…’ Lily began.
‘Oh, that won’t happen,’ Theo replied at once. ‘I shan’t marry again. That’s not on the cards.’ He paused for a second. ‘I have no plans for myself. The children and their welfare, their future—that’s all I care about, all that keeps me going.’ Who could ever take the place of his beloved Elspeth? Who would he ever want to take her place?
Lily shrugged to herself. He was still young, and a very marriageable prospect for any deserving female, she thought. But it was obvious that his mind was made up, and she somehow knew that he wasn’t likely to change it.
Thinking that he’d divulged far more of himself than he ever had before to anyone—certainly not to a random female—Theo leaned forward.
‘And you?’ he asked. ‘D’you have any other siblings?’
‘No. It’s just Sam and me,’ Lily replied. ‘Though it would have been nice if there’d been more of us.’
‘I’m sure you’ll make up for that one day,’ he said easily. ‘Have lots of kids of your own, and—’
‘No. I don’t want children,’ Lily said bluntly. She paused. ‘If you’d seen me with those twins…I just don’t think I’m a natural mother, that’s all. It wouldn’t be fair—to any of us.’ And I’m never going to be a natural wife, either, she added silently to herself, recoiling at the thought, remembering her past with something approaching revulsion.
‘And your parents—they’re obviously still alive…?’ he went on, making the presumption as Lily could only be in her early twenties.
Lily’s spine began to tingle, and she tore her gaze away from his. She didn’t want to discuss any more of her life with anyone—certainly not with him. Yet he had been surprisingly honest about his own position, so she found it difficult to be evasive.
‘Our parents are no longer living,’ she said. Well, who knew where their father was? ‘So, you see, we’re both orphans, you and I.’ She smiled. ‘I can’t even remember them.’
‘Who brought you up?’
‘Oh, an assortment of aunties and uncles,’ Lily said, looking away. There was no need to say that she’d been a human reject, despaired of by foster carers. Because it hurt her to think it—even to herself.
Theo looked at her for a long moment, sensing an undercurrent of something he couldn’t explain passing between them. She was bright, obviously articulate and intelligent—yet there was something about her that reminded him of Freya. She was sad, too, he thought. Not just about being an orphan, as she’d said, but for other, deeper reasons.
The meal ended rather soberly after all that, and, foregoing dessert, they left the restaurant and walked towards St Peter’s. Late as it was, there was still plenty of activity everywhere, and Lily realised that she didn’t feel at all tired, but relaxed and happy. And she couldn’t put that down to the wine, because she hadn’t drunk any since lunchtime… It had to be Rome, she thought. With just a little credit going to the man walking along beside her. Theo had been personal, and personable, all evening, but he had not once stepped over that line of familiarity which was unacceptable. She realised that no man had ever made her feel so…protected…so appreciated. He seemed to enjoy being with her, with not a hint of wanting anything more. She breathed in deeply, silently. It was a relief to feel this secure.
Presently Theo said, ‘Perhaps it’s time I got you back to your hotel.’ He looked down at her. ‘If your brother has recovered, he’s sure to be wondering where you are by now.’
‘Oh, he won’t be worried about me,’ Lily said at once. ‘He knows I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.’ She hesitated, thinking how smug and self-sufficient that must sound. ‘It’s just that I’ve had to stand on my own feet for so long I never expect anyone to feel responsible for me in any way,’ she explained. ‘And—that’s the way I like it,’ she added.
He nodded slightly. ‘Yes—I can understand that,’ he said, thinking that he was in much the same position himself. Ever since he’d become a lone parent he’d had to almost fight off the well-intentioned efforts of various women wanting to help shoulder some of the responsibility. But he’d been determined from the outset that that would not happen. This was his problem, and he was going to solve it himself. And he’d done all right so far, he thought—even if Freya was a continual source of worry to him. But he felt sure that it would all come right one day.
‘Your brother’s hotel is very well situated,’ he remarked. ‘You said it’s off Piazza Navona? Couldn’t be better.’
‘I know,’ Lily said. ‘So I don’t have to look far for entertainment. The hotel is just far enough away from the beaten track to be surprisingly peaceful. I’ve never lost a night’s sleep there yet.’
It didn’t take long to get back, and Theo realised, rather disturbingly, that he didn’t want the evening to come to an end. He’d enjoyed himself—really enjoyed himself. Since Elspeth had gone, he’d hated eating alone in foreign countries, and he’d been glad of the chance to invite someone other than a professional colleague to have supper with him. It had been a bit of luck that he’d spotted Lily sitting alone by the fountain, and even more lucky that her brother hadn’t been well enough to accompany her. For some reason he felt…lighter—lighter in spirit than he had for fourteen months. But of course the reason for that was quite clear. He’d been on a mission—even if he hadn’t been aware of that at first. A project had presented itself, and projects were what kept him going these days. The fact was that he liked Lily—liked the woman’s company. She didn’t grate on his nerves, which was often the case now, when he was with a member of the opposite sex. And subconsciously a plan had been forming in his mind, without him knowing it. Why else had he quite shamelessly been assessing her all the evening—assessing her character, sizing her up?
Just as they approached the lighted entrance to her hotel, he stopped, forcing Lily to halt her steps. She looked up at him, smiling quickly.
‘Well, thank you, thanks a lot for that lovely meal, Theo,’ she began.
‘No—thank you—for agreeing to come with me tonight,’ he said seriously, waiting for the right words, the right moment to continue. ‘Actually, Lily, I’ve been wondering whether you’d…’ he began.
Lily presumed that he was going to suggest they meet up again while they were in Rome. But she was here to be with her brother—they only had another two days, after all.
