let out her breath in an unsteady puff.
He didn’t notice that as he handed her the food. ‘I like sharing this with you again,’ he said quietly, his gaze locking with hers.
Severina wondered if she were wrong to hear subtle meaning in the words. It seemed he didn’t refer to the food at all.
Their gazes held. There was a long moment of silence.
‘You should enjoy life more,’ he said. ‘There’s much beauty to be found in this world, if one only looks for it.’
‘And what beauty should I seek, Lucan?’ she asked breathlessly. ‘Where should I look?’
His smile was slow and sensual. His gold-tipped lashes lowered to shield his gaze. ‘You can find pleasure nearly anywhere,’ he said, his voice a deep, low rumble. ‘Sometimes it’s right in front of you. But you must be willing to let go of your fear. Trust that everything will work out.’
Let go of your fear. Trust.
The words hung in the air between them. She was sure they were speaking of more than this meal or this moment.
‘What are you saying?’ Her voice was a whisper. ‘We can’t go back…can we?’
His expression softened. One hand came up to gently caress her cheek. ‘No. We can’t go back. Nobody ever can. But there’s always tomorrow.’
She closed her eyes against the sadness. ‘Sometimes I wish it could have been different for us.’
He leaned closer. She tasted him in the air she breathed. ‘Do you wish that, Severina? Then speak the word and make it so.’
She wanted to. She wanted him. And she might find such pleasure in this day, this moment…if pleasure were all they sought.
But today led to tomorrow, and that was the problem. Lucan had proposed marriage. It would save her from the censor, but—what if the censor wasn’t the only enemy she faced?
She dared not explain to Lucan why she couldn’t yet give him an answer, or why the choice of marriage could never be a simple yes or no, not for her, not until she knew all the facts.
Did the censor work alone, motivated by nothing more than his own greed? If so, Severina would marry Lucan and do it happily.
But if the censor were in league with her old enemy, marriage to Lucan would not solve her problem. It would only compound it, bringing him into danger along with her.
Until she knew, her future would be uncertain and so would his. If Anok Khai had found her, her worst fears would be realised. And her nightmare might easily become Lucan’s, too.
‘You’re right, Lucan,’ she said, a gladiatrix going for the quick thrust, the most merciful kill. ‘We can’t go back. Nobody ever can.’
Lucan studied her for a long moment, the warmth in his eyes growing colder with every passing second.
He pushed away from her. ‘We should move along now. Apollodorus, for all he’s been a good friend to me, is not always a patient man.’
Severina rose without speaking.
‘Apollodorus isn’t patient,’ Lucan said as he took her hand and drew her towards the door. ‘But I am, Severina.’
She looked up sharply.
‘Remember that. I won’t rest until I get what I want.’
‘And what do you want, Lucan?’
His eyes were cool and determined when they met hers. ‘You,’ he said. ‘I want you.’
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