help. It’s outrageously unfair.’
Kristen shrugged. ‘I’m not struggling,’ she murmured, unaware of the weariness in her voice. The salary she earned as a physiotherapist covered her mortgage and bills, and although it was true that the cost of living seemed to have rocketed recently she was still able to provide Nico with everything he needed. ‘It’s true I can’t go mad with money, but who can at the moment?’
Steph dropped the newspaper onto her desk and gave Kristen a rueful look. ‘I know you’re finding things more difficult now that you have to pay childcare costs since your mum died. But I’m not just talking about the fact that you are struggling financially. You’re still grieving for Kathleen, and so is Nico. It’s the reason he’s been so clingy lately and why he cries every time you leave him at nursery.’
‘His nursery worker says he stops crying after I’ve gone,’ Kristen muttered tightly. She knew Steph was simply showing friendly concern, but she felt guilty enough about leaving Nico, and the sound of his sobs as she had walked out of the day-care centre this morning had made her feel as if her heart was being ripped out. ‘What do you suggest I do? I would love to stay at home with Nico like my mum did, but I’m a single mother and I have no choice but to go to work.’
‘I think you need to take a sabbatical,’ Steph said firmly. ‘I wouldn’t be saying this if I wasn’t so worried about you. Heaven knows, you’re a valuable member of staff. But I can see you’re close to the edge. You need to take a couple of months off while you try and come to terms with losing your mum, and so that you can be a full-time mum to Nico.’
Tears filled Kristen’s eyes as she thought of her mother. Kathleen had moved in with her when she’d given birth to Nico and had looked after him when Kristen had returned to work. The accident five months ago had been such a terrible shock. Kathleen had popped to the shops because they had run out of milk and been hit by a speeding car as she had crossed the road. She had been killed instantly, the policewoman who had broken the news had explained. Kristen was thankful that her mum hadn’t suffered, but Steph was right, she hadn’t come to terms with the tragedy and her grief was made worse because she knew that Nico desperately missed his beloved Nana.
She sighed. ‘It’s a nice idea, but I can’t give up work. I’d have to win the Lottery first.’
‘Here’s your ticket.’ Steph picked up the newspaper and jabbed her finger at Sergio’s handsome face. ‘It’s only fair that Nico’s father should take some responsibility for his son.’
‘No!’ Kristen said so fiercely that Steph gave her a curious look. ‘I told you, Sergio is unaware of Nico’s existence. And if he knew he had a child he wouldn’t want anything to do with him. I’m certainly not going to ask him for money.’
‘I’m not suggesting you demand a massive maintenance agreement,’ Steph argued. ‘You simply want a bit of financial help for a couple of months so that you can give Nico the care and attention he needs right now.’
‘My son is my responsibility,’ Kristen said in a tone that warned her friend to drop the subject. But she had to admit that Steph had made a valid point when she’d said that Nico was in need of extra care to help him deal with the loss of his grandmother. He might only be three years old, but Kristen didn’t underestimate his grief. Over the past few months he had grown pale and listless and his lack of appetite was worrying.
‘Give him time,’ Kristen’s GP had advised. ‘Nico gets upset when you leave him at nursery because he’s afraid, quite naturally under the circumstances, that you won’t come back. Gradually he will come to accept the death of his grandmother. All you can do is to give him plenty of love and reassurance.’
She would love to rent a cottage by the sea for the summer and take Nico away for a holiday, Kristen thought wistfully. But it was impossible. The mortgage on her house would not pay itself. She pushed thoughts of the past away and forced herself to concentrate on her appointments. In her job she treated patients with a wide variety of sport-related injuries and usually she found the work absorbing. But today the clinic dragged, and even during the Pilates class she ran later in the day her mind was distracted and for once she was glad when the session was over.
The Tube was as busy at the height of the evening rush-hour as it had been in the morning but luckily there were no delays on her line and she was on time to collect Nico. He was waiting with the other children, his eyes fixed on the door as the parents filed into the nursery, and the moment he caught sight of Kristen his face lit up with a smile that tugged on her heart.
‘Mummy!’ He hurtled across the room and into her arms.
‘Hello, Tiger. Have you had a nice day?’
Nico did not reply, but as Kristen lifted him up he linked his arms around her neck and pressed his face into her shoulder. His hair smelled of baby shampoo and felt like silk against her cheek. He was the most precious thing in her life and the intensity of her love for him brought a lump to her throat.
‘I missed you.’ Eyes as round and dark as chocolate buttons looked at her from beneath long, curling lashes. Nico’s eyes were the exact same shade as his father’s. The thought slid into Kristen’s mind as she recalled the photo in the paper of Sergio and she felt a knife blade pierce her heart.
‘I missed you too. But I bet you had a lovely time with all your friends,’ she said encouragingly. ‘Did you play in the sandpit with Sam?’
Nico stared at her solemnly. ‘Can we go home now?’
Kristen set him back on his feet. ‘Go and get your coat. We’ll stop off at the park, as long as you promise not to climb to the top of the climbing frame.’ A shudder ran through her at the memory of how he had fallen and been badly hurt on their last trip to the park. Sometimes she struggled to cope with Nico’s exuberance.
As he shot off across the room, she turned to speak to his play-worker, Lizzie. ‘How was he today?’
‘He’s been very withdrawn,’ the young woman admitted. ‘I tried to persuade him to join in with the activities but it’s obvious he’s missing his nana.’ She gave Kristen a sympathetic look. ‘This must be a difficult time for you and Nico. Perhaps, with the summer coming, you could take a holiday. I’m sure it would do you both good.’
There was only one way Kristen could take Nico on holiday, and that was to ask for financial help from his father. Back home at her tiny terraced house, she reread the newspaper article about Sergio’s engagement while she was cooking dinner.
It is expected that the couple will celebrate their engagement at a lavish party to be held tonight at the Hotel Royale in Bayswater, which was purchased by the Castellano Group a year ago and has undergone a one-hundred-million pound refurbishment.
If only there was a way she could speak to Sergio before the party. Kristen’s heart lurched at the prospect of revealing to him that he had a son. She glanced into the living room, expecting to find Nico watching TV, but he had picked up a framed photograph of Kathleen and was staring at it with a wistful expression on his face that made Kristen’s heart ache.
‘Come and have your dinner,’ she said softly.
‘I don’t want any, Mummy.’
If Nico’s appetite didn’t pick up soon she would have to take him back to the doctor, Kristen thought worriedly. She forced a smile. ‘Try and eat a little bit, and then I’ll tell you something exciting.’
She
