felt some connection with Geoffrey at our first meeting nigh on two years ago, but thought it more about our nearness in age. He spoke to me as no one here did, and seemed to be interested in my thoughts and concerns. You did the same, but it was different somehow with him.”
The countess looked at her and nodded once more, but said nothing.
“We would meet on the back steps at the end of our day and tell each other stories. He answered my questions and guided me in those terrifying days on my first visits here. And—” she smiled as she remembered his cajoling “—he always made me promise to return again in spite of my fears of this place and all it involved.”
“Catherine, I had no idea your fears ran so deep. You never spoke of them to me.”
“I feared speaking of anything, my lady. The reverend mother warned me to never speak of my past or of who I really was, and I worried that any word spoken would give away those secrets. So ’twas easier to say nothing.” She looked up and saw understanding in the eyes of her benefactress.
“He was so confident and accomplished and handsome even then. He goaded and prodded and was encouraging and happy. He was the first man…” She paused as a fleeting memory of her brother crossed her mind. “He was the first man to treat me in that way. And in spite of knowing from the beginning that we could not be together, I fell in love with him.”
“These Dumont men are hard to resist.” The lady smiled as she spoke. “Arrogant and prideful, but honorable and irresistible at the same time.”
“Aye, just so.”
“Go on, Catherine.”
She stood and walked to the large window in one wall and looked out as she continued.
“Ever honorable, my lady. I believe he feels love for me, although we both skirt around speaking of it openly or candidly. We have cloaked our feelings in friendship, for we both know what is expected of us.” Could her pain be heard in her words? The slicing sting of denied love hurt even now. “So, no promises were made other than that we would remain friends.”
“And is it the knowledge of the responsibilities he has to his brother and his king that makes it possible for you to accept that he marry another?”
“Aye, my lady.” She smiled again, despite the tears burning her throat and her eyes. “If things were other than they are, I would hope for something more between us. In spite of my present circumstances, I come from an old and noble family, one with previous ties to royalty on the Continent. But without those family ties, I know I am not suitable for the titles he will hold soon.”
“Catherine, these arrangements were not made to deprive you of a future marriage. Indeed, with the dowry provided to you, a good marriage could be made for you.”
“I know that the earl saved my life, my lady. And, contrary to my behavior at times, I appreciate everything he and you have done for me.” Catherine turned to face her again. “There is a terror inside me when I think about marrying someone other than Geoffrey. I do not understand it and I cannot explain it, I just know that it is there.”
The countess’s face paled a bit as though she understood more than she would say. “And so the convent is your choice?”
“Aye, my lady. I will find some measure of contentment there. I have accepted this, even though it did not appear so this morn.”
“This is a big decision, Catherine, one that should be about running to something and not running from something else. Do not think you must rush into taking your vows. Speak to Father Elwood. Speak even to my husband, who can be helpful when least expected. And know that you would always have a place here at Greystone or even at one of the other Harbridge estates if you needed it.”
Catherine walked to the countess, took her hand and, bowing her head, touched her forehead to it. “I am more grateful than you will ever know.” Stepping back, she wiped the tears from her eyes.
“One more question before we must join the others in the solar,” the countess said, as she stood and smoothed out more of the wrinkles in her gown caused by her daughter wriggling on her lap. “Geoff knows of your love, but does he know of your plans?”
“Nay, my lady. He knows not and I would prefer it that way. He has enough to consider in these next weeks.”
“When you had words the other night, you did not share this with him?”
So, they had been seen. The heat of a blush crept into her cheeks. “Nay, my lady.”
“Then, may I ask of what you spoke?”
“He sought my help.” She was reluctant to reveal Geoff’s request.
“For? Come, Catherine, you need not fear giving me the truth of this.”
“He asked my advice in choosing a wife.”
The words hung in the air, with nothing but the sound of the countess’s huff in reply.
“Men can be so…so…”
Lady Harbridge’s hands fisted and released several times and her mouth opened and closed. She seemed to be having difficulty selecting a word, so Catherine offered several. “Stubborn? Exasperating? Stupid? Transparent?”
Laughing, the countess nodded in agreement with all of them. “Transparent? So you know his real reasons, then, for his request?”
“I know it is contrived, my lady. If I accept his request, it gives him an excuse to seek me out and it gives me a reason to be present for this time. We both know this is the last time we will see each other.”
The countess’s own heart broke at the situation, but if Catherine could accept it with such honor, then Emalie would support her in this. She reached out and lifted Catherine’s chin.
“You demonstrate such honor and sense and true love in accepting this and in helping Geoffrey. Surely it will all turn out for the best.” Before they both broke out in tears, Emalie knew she must do something. “Come now, Catherine. The women await us in the solar and I would influence the advice you plan to give him about his choice of wife.”
“A boon, my lady?”
“If it is in my power to grant you, Catherine, I will.”
“Before I take my vows, would you give me the truth of these last three years? The whole of it?”
Emalie could feel the smile leave her face, and tried to simply nod in reply. But this was something that was owed this young woman. “When that time comes, Catherine, if you wish me to tell you, I will. For now, though, will you accept my counsel and not dwell on it?”
Catherine nodded in turn, but said nothing. She opened the door and stood back, so that Emalie could leave first. Alyce waited outside to accompany them about their activities. Emalie thought to ask Catherine about attending the evening banquet, but decided not to press for much more from the girl, given the disclosures made in these last few minutes.
Walking down the stairs that led to the solar, Emalie was disturbed that she had no way of helping Catherine and Geoffrey’s plight. For although she was convinced that Catherine would make a wonderful wife for Geoff, she knew
