been once. One night in the barn, she’d been hiding from Earl—again. Drew had found her, at first friendly, cajoling and soothing. Then when he’d tried to pin her down to the hard wooden floor, she did what her real dad had taught her. And the well-placed kick had kept him away from her for the rest of that summer. Months later, after Earl had belted Drew one too many times, the boy had run back to his mom’s house. He’d never returned for any extended stays.
“If you won’t tell me where it is, I’ll get the answer out of your mother.” Drew headed toward the door. Emily resisted the urge to run after him and grab him. She couldn’t let him see her fear, but she wasn’t letting him near her mother.
“Where what is, Drew? You’re not making sense.” He didn’t stop walking. “You go near Mom and I’ll have you arrested.” She didn’t move, but the tone of her voice stopped him.
“What the hell for?” He rounded on her, his hands curling into big meaty fists. Just like Earl. She refused to let memories scare her. She was a judge, a grown woman with power, not a young girl scared of her own shadow and getting hurt. And she was all that stood between Drew and her mother.
“Well, menacing an at-risk adult to start. You take anything from her and I’ll have you arrested so fast your head will spin.” The flare in his eyes told her she might have gone too far. He took a step toward her, but stopped.
“You think you’re so smart, don’t you?”
Suddenly, Dianne appeared at the office door, breaking the tension in the room. “Your Honor?”
Your Honor? Oh, how official Dianne sounded. Emily swallowed back her thankful smile. “Yes?”
“You need to leave if you’re going to make your appointment.”
“We’re not finished.” Drew ground out the words.
Oh, yes, they were. “Well, we’ll have to finish later. It’s court business.” She didn’t elaborate. Emily stood and walked to the coatrack by the door, effectively shutting off anything Drew had to say. “I’ll walk you out.” The last thing she’d do was leave him in her office unattended.
He beat her to it, stomping down the hall and slamming the outer door. His last words of “I’ll be back” were nearly cut off by the sound of the wood hitting its frame.
“Well, isn’t he a charmer,” Dianne drawled from behind her desk. “Your family reunions must be a real joy.”
Despite her nearly flippant words, Emily could see the concern in Dianne’s eyes. Emily leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes and taking several deep breaths. “Lord. I need to call the facility. He can’t see Mom.” She didn’t have to explain anything to Dianne. She’d heard every word.
“He seems like the kind who will, no matter what you do. Just be prepared.”
Emily’s heart sank. Dianne was right. Earl had never listened to anyone and Drew seemed much the same. He was after something and wouldn’t give up until he got it, or was satisfied with the results. Thinking of the pathetic balance of their parents’ combined lives, she realized he’d never be satisfied.
Slowly, Emily peeled herself away from the wall to dial the all-too-familiar number, and spoke with the administrator. She explained the bare minimum. Being a judge, she didn’t have to elaborate and she took advantage of that. She was afraid that if she said too much, she’d lose it.
Finally, with the administrator’s empty promises that Drew wouldn’t be allowed to see her mother without her permission, Emily sank into the nearest chair.
Why couldn’t things have been different? Why had her father died? Why had her mother had to meet Earl? If only...
With a determined shake of her head, Emily once again prepared to leave.
The look on Dianne’s face, however, told Emily there was more than the appointment on her clerk’s mind. She knew Dianne wouldn’t volunteer.
“Okay, what’s up?” she prodded.
Dianne tried to pretend surprise. “Why? Nothing.”
“I can see the wheels turning in your head.”
“Oh, fine.” Dianne paused. “You sure you know what you’re doing?”
“With Drew? No.”
“No. With this court case.”
“Of course I do.” Emily grabbed her purse and the briefcase she’d stuffed with the case files she thought she might need, plus files to read at home tonight.
“Mmm-hmm.” Dianne looked over those infernal glasses. “The caseworker has done most of the required work. Just because it’s not in the final form doesn’t mean you have to double-check it.” That look—over the glasses—said there was no escaping her questioning.
“Look.” Emily leaned against Dianne’s desk. “I’ll feel better seeing things for myself.” She really did appreciate Dianne’s concern. “Besides, you’re always after me to get out of the office.”
“I meant to do something fun. Not more work.”
“Hey, maybe this will be fun.” Emily smiled and hustled out the door before Dianne’s words could totally catch up to her.
“Someday you’re going to have to learn to trust someone.” Dianne’s words slipped through the door right behind Emily and kept bouncing around in Emily’s mind as she drove through the desert.
Warm midday sunshine poured in the sunroof and landed squarely on Emily’s shoulders. The car’s air-conditioning made the West Texas heat bearable—but she still felt the damp sweat drench her body.
She was nervous doing something she really shouldn’t, something totally out of her routine. Out of her element.
But as she’d told Dianne, she needed to do this. It couldn’t hurt, and if the little boy was at risk, as Emily feared, she’d save herself and the system a great deal of pain—not to mention Tyler.
And so she drove through the backcountry, through places that reminded her of so much hurt, risking her impartiality in a case simply to give herself peace of mind for a while.
Emily hadn’t driven out here in ages. The grasslands and desert of Southwestern Texas was a place she barely acknowledged, much less thought about. She stayed in town, lived her life, ignored where she’d come from.
The two-lane highway wound through the hills, dissecting the desert along with dozens of dirt roads and driveways that led deep into the ranches. Ten miles to the north her grandfather’s ranch sat, abandoned, its pastures rented out to another rancher up the road. The plot of land her mother had recently left sat another ten miles beyond that.
The Hawkins ranch was closer to town than Emily had ever lived. She’d looked at it on the county map. He might live modestly, but he was land rich, with a large spread that ran along one of the large rivers that bisected the area.
Her hands sweaty around the steering wheel, she tried to focus on the pavement reaching out in front of her, staring at the yellow stripes. All she had to do was get there, take a look around and head
