was tired. She had chosen to have a baby on her own, and it was too late to complain that it was tiring now.
Although she hadn’t actually complained at all, had she? Lewis pushed the thought brusquely away. No, it was out of the question.
‘I don’t want to find myself looking after you and Noah as well as Viola,’ he told her.
Martha wasn’t ready to give up yet. ‘I’m tougher than I look,’ she said. ‘I’ve been looking after a baby for the past eight months and I think I’ve probably got a better idea than you of what’s involved,’ she added, with just a squeeze of acid in her voice. ‘I’m sure I would be able to cope.’
It went against the grain to plead with Lewis Mansfield, but if she had to she would. ‘Please take me with you. I’d love Viola and look after her as if she really was Noah’s twin.’ She hesitated. How could she make him see how perfectly their needs matched? ‘I think we’re made for each other,’ she said.
Wrong thing to say. One of Lewis’s eyebrows shot up and, hearing her own words, Martha could have bitten her tongue out. And then she had to go and make matters worse by actually blushing!
‘You know what I mean,’ she muttered.
‘I know what you mean,’ Lewis agreed dryly as he got to his feet again. Really, the man was as restless as a cat. He took another turn around the room, his shoulders hunched in a way that was already oddly familiar.
‘I should tell you that I only agreed to see you as a favour to Gill,’ he said brusquely at last. ‘Oddly enough, she was very insistent that you were just what I needed too.’
‘I think I could be,’ said Martha, determined not to repeat her mistake and forcing herself to sound suitably cool, as if the idea that they might be made for each other as lovers had never even crossed her mind.
Lewis wasn’t so sure. He couldn’t help thinking about what it would be like to share a house with her, to spend the next six months with those dark eyes and that mouth. It would be too distracting, too unsettling, too…too everything.
And she was totally unsuitable as a nanny anyway, he reminded himself. There was no way he was going to risk it.
‘Perhaps I should have told Gill that I was seeing someone else as well,’ he said, pushing away the thought of living with Martha for six months. ‘The agency that supplied Viola’s current nanny sent along someone this morning and I have to say that she seemed very suitable. Eve is a trained nanny, and she is obviously very…’
Dull was the word that leapt to mind. Lewis forced it down.
‘…very efficient,’ he said instead.
‘Babies don’t need efficiency,’ said Martha before she could help herself. ‘They need love and warmth and routine.’
‘Eve comes with very good references so I’m sure she understands exactly what babies need,’ said Lewis austerely. ‘She’s…’
Dull, insisted that wayward voice inside him.
‘…a sensible girl…’
Dull.
‘…and she doesn’t have any other commitments…’
Dull.
‘…so she can concentrate on Viola in a way that you wouldn’t be able to,’ he went on with an edge of desperation.
Yes, but she’s dull.
‘I need to bear in mind too that I’ll be sharing a house with Viola’s nanny for six months, so it’s important to give the job to someone compatible. Eve seems a quiet, level-headed…’
Dull.
‘…reliable person, and I’m sure she’ll adapt to the routine out there very quickly.’
Yes, and she’ll be very, very dull.
But she wouldn’t have dark, disturbing eyes and she wouldn’t put him on edge just by sitting there the way Martha did. It would be much better that way.
Dull, but better.
‘I see.’ Martha got to her feet and handed Lewis his niece, who glared at him.
I’m with you, Viola, thought Martha wryly.
‘In that case, there doesn’t seem much more to say.’
Determined not to let him see how desperately disappointed she was, she bent to retrieve the toys, stuffed them in her bag, and scooped up Noah. ‘Thank you for taking the time to see me,’ she said in a cool voice.
Lewis held Viola warily. He could feel her small body revving up to protest as Martha turned to go and she realised that she was going to be abandoned.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said abruptly, as if the words had been forced out of him against his will. ‘I just don’t think it would have worked out.’
Dispiritedly, Martha scraped up another spoonful of purée and offered it to Noah, who pressed his lips together and shook his head from side to side in a very determined manner.
Rather like Lewis Mansfield, in fact.
‘Why,’ asked Martha severely, ‘are you men all being so difficult at the moment?’
Noah didn’t reply, but he didn’t open his mouth either. He could be very stubborn when he wanted.
Also like Lewis Mansfield.
With a sigh, Martha put the spoon in her own mouth and returned to her perusal of the small ads. She had reluctantly decided that she was going to have to put St Bonaventure on the back boiler for a while and find herself another job. The trouble with most part-time jobs was that they didn’t pay enough to cover the costs of child care, but she was seriously considering going for a post as a housekeeper or a nanny, where she could take Noah with her and save herself the huge cost of renting even this tiny little flat.
Here was a job in Yorkshire…maybe she could apply for that?
Or maybe not, she decided, as she read to the end of the advertisement. That enticing heading should have read: ‘Wanted, any idiot to be overworked and underpaid.’
Martha sucked the spoon glumly and was just turning the page when the phone rang. This would be Liz with her daily phone call to cheer her up.
‘Hi,’ she said, wedging the phone between her shoulder and her ear and not bothering to take the spoon out of her mouth.
‘Is that Martha Shaw?’
Martha nearly choked on the spoon, and the phone slipped from her ear. She had no problem identifying that austere voice, although she was damned if she would give Lewis Mansfield the satisfaction of admitting it.
Hastily rescuing the phone before it fell on the floor, she removed the spoon and cleared her throat.
‘Yes?’ It came out a little croaky, but she didn’t think she sounded too bad.
